Completely fed up with all dealing with misogynist, entitled customers, bartender Laura Ramadei decided to make an example of Brian Lederman, a Manhattan hedge-funder who responded to her inquiry about whether he and his friends needed anything else–you know, doing her job–by groping her butt and asking if he could take her “to go.”
Here’s an excerpt from her awesome open letter:
I deal with incredible amounts of entitlement, condescension, and drunk nonsense. And at a bar, it is impossible to ignore the fact that misogyny is alive and well. I can’t tell you how many times people have treated me horribly and I’ve memorized or photographed the names from their credit cards, fantasizing about internet revenge. But every time I’ve been tempted in the past (even after verbal attacks, physical affronts, or sexual harassment) I’ve stopped myself and let it go.
So congratulations, Brian! You’ve done it! You broke this tired ass camel’s back. And though this is obviously a public shaming, I truly don’t mean this as an attack. Maybe – just maybe – via the intimately connected internet world, my post will reach you, and you’ll learn something about how hurtful and upsetting a small comment or gesture might be. Or at the very least, maybe a Facebook passerby will read this and more deeply consider how they treat women, how they treat servers, and/or how they treat other people in general. And thank you. Without your inspiration I wouldn’t be quitting my job today, and endeavoring a better chapter of my life.
The New York Post reached out to Lederman for his response to Ramadei’s letter. Unsurprisingly, he takes umbrage at the accusation that he’s a sexist ass-groper. But not because he isn’t one–“I’ve grabbed plenty of girls’ asses in my life” he says. It’s just that he categorically denies grabbing Ramadei’s. As for the oh-so-hiiiiilarious joke, he proudly confirms it. (The full line was apparently: “I would like you to go with nothing on it.”) In conclusion, he called Ramadei “that fucking cunt” and said he’d “make sure she doesn’t get another job in New York City.”
Because, as everyone knows, nothing helps your case when defending yourself from charges of sexism more than calling a woman a cunt.
Maya Dusenbery is an Executive Director of Feministing.
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