Four feminist thoughts about fake fannies

Last night Nicki Minaj released the visuals for her new single “Anaconda”– the title a reference to the infamous Sir Mix-a-Lot line “my Anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hon.” You might remember the “controversy” surrounding the cover art for the track a few weeks ago. In summation: Nicki Minaj posed in a g-string, it made people feel some type of way, she clapped back, then everyone forgot because she made a Flawless remix with Beyonce.

But the release of the video has everyone back on the A-train. As I type this, I’m sure that there are about 1,000 think pieces being written about the video. The memes started to pour in last night. And Black twitter already started #TwitpicYourAnacondaVideoReaction. The truth is that despite the controversy, we love big asses. Fatties are enjoying a moment of unprecedented mainstream popularity. They’re like the new Louboutin’s — we love to see who has them and where they go them from. Which reminded me of how much time I’ve spent thinking about another important feminist issue: buttock augmentation.

So without further ado, here are four feminist thoughts about fake fannies.

1) Everyone deserves to like the way they look by whatever means they find personally necessary. This should include paying for a fat graft or implants to achieve a more astute and pronounced posterior that can clap if you move it in just the right way. There are definitely valid critiques of the cosmetic surgery industry — mainly the fact that it is driven by a sexist and racist culture that sets unattainable beauty standards. But that doesn’t mean that people who utilize the services of this industry can’t find fulfillment and joy in their new look. Everyone deserves that kind of bodily autonomy. It’s the feminist way.

2) Butt augmentation has become much more visible and trendy. And just like a Louis Vuitton bag, when something becomes this popular, someone is bound to offer a knock off version. Illegal, less expensive, and riskier options are tempting. But no one should have to pay the price with their health, or the quality of their new ass. Like abortion, butt augmentation should be safe and legal. 

3) Because “Anaconda” samples the timeless “Baby Got Back” hit, we should all take a moment to reflect. This song was revolutionary because 20 years ago, having a big butt pushed you to the fringes of mainstream beauty consciousness. It was a physical trait instinctively associated with blackness and unattractiveness. So while we bask in the glow of the Iggy Azaleas, the Kardashians, the Cocos and all of the other whooties of the world (many of whom paid for their butts), remember that, like in the case of the reproductive justice movement, women of color paved the way.

4) ​​And lastly, when you get your desired amount of junk in your trunk  (I’m looking at you, Nicki), don’t make fun of people who don’t have big round butts. That’s not body positive. Some of us can’t afford fatties (yet) and, most importantly, we are not defined by our booties.

Sesali is anticipating the day when she, too, can afford to purchase a slugger.