“Guy grabbed my chest, I yelled real spooky-like, he pooped.”

monsterThat’s the tl;dr version of this amazingly hilarious tale about a lady who was groped while leaving a movie theater in Boston and put her monster voice hobby to good use. ManichestBreastiny tells her story on Reddit:

A man that looked to be at least fifteen years older than myself who was walking near me in the same direction took an extra step to catch up to me and put his arm around my shoulder and grabbed my breast, and said “Hey”.

I’m small. I’m blonde. I wear t-shirts, jeans and old sneakers. I practice monstrous voices as a hobby. One of these things came out to my advantage.

I pushed him off me, and in my most threatening bellow yelled, “HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME?” Please see the Vocaroo link for a low-quality replicated voice clip that I only wish could be as good as my fear-inspired ourburst: Link to Clip

The guy froze, his mouth open and face in total shock. I knew I caught him by surprise. It took me a few seconds, between him standing funny and the smell to realize that he crapped in his pants.

I looked around, and saw a few other people staring, probably because I had just yelled at someone in a park, and made an awkward walk away from the guy. I was shaken from being grabbed, and got to the Park Street station as fast as I could walk.

This was not the first time I was groped, and it will likely not be the last. I can only hope that this one man will have felt some sort of primal fear, and will never touch a person without their permission again.


(h/t Jezebel)

Maya DusenberyMaya will be over here practicing her monster voice all day.

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