“Guy grabbed my chest, I yelled real spooky-like, he pooped.”

monsterThat’s the tl;dr version of this amazingly hilarious tale about a lady who was groped while leaving a movie theater in Boston and put her monster voice hobby to good use. ManichestBreastiny tells her story on Reddit:

A man that looked to be at least fifteen years older than myself who was walking near me in the same direction took an extra step to catch up to me and put his arm around my shoulder and grabbed my breast, and said “Hey”.

I’m small. I’m blonde. I wear t-shirts, jeans and old sneakers. I practice monstrous voices as a hobby. One of these things came out to my advantage.

I pushed him off me, and in my most threatening bellow yelled, “HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME?” Please see the Vocaroo link for a low-quality replicated voice clip that I only wish could be as good as my fear-inspired ourburst: Link to Clip

The guy froze, his mouth open and face in total shock. I knew I caught him by surprise. It took me a few seconds, between him standing funny and the smell to realize that he crapped in his pants.

I looked around, and saw a few other people staring, probably because I had just yelled at someone in a park, and made an awkward walk away from the guy. I was shaken from being grabbed, and got to the Park Street station as fast as I could walk.

This was not the first time I was groped, and it will likely not be the last. I can only hope that this one man will have felt some sort of primal fear, and will never touch a person without their permission again.


(h/t Jezebel)

Maya DusenberyMaya will be over here practicing her monster voice all day.

St. Paul, MN

Maya Dusenbery is executive director in charge of editorial at Feministing. She is the author of the forthcoming book Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick (HarperOne, March 2018). She has been a fellow at Mother Jones magazine and a columnist at Pacific Standard magazine. Her work has appeared in publications like Cosmopolitan.com, TheAtlantic.com, Bitch Magazine, as well as the anthology The Feminist Utopia Project. Before become a full-time journalist, she worked at the National Institute for Reproductive Health. A Minnesota native, she received her B.A. from Carleton College in 2008. After living in Brooklyn, Oakland, and Atlanta, she is currently based in the Twin Cities.

Maya Dusenbery is an executive director of Feministing and author of the forthcoming book Doing Harm on sexism in medicine.

Read more about Maya

Join the Conversation