I got 99 problems and sexism is one

A few days ago my best friend and I went to see Beyonce’s new documentary- life is but a dream. The film was- as could be expected- amazing! One could see Mrs Carter dancing, singing, cuddling her baby-girl, crying, working hard and being overall breathtaking.
I love Beyonce. To me, she’s the symbol of discipline, hard work, autonomy (yip, and beauty, femininity and sexappeal as well). I love her voice, her dance moves, her music (in my opinion ‘Halo’ is one of the most beautiful songs ever, and I’ll never apologize for that mainstream- opinion).
Indierock doesn’t do anything for me, and angry punkrock/ techno/ house even less. I listen to soul, r’n’b, hip-hop and on my crazy days maybe even to some singer-songwriter ladies. I want big voices, lots of lyrics, and few guitar sounds.
But I also love women, myself, feminism.
Liking hip-hop & r’n’b and liking women sometimes seems hard to combine.
Especially if we’re talking about cool-black-gansters-I-got-99-problems-and-a-bitch-aint-one-hip-hop.
I’m a big fan of Jay-Z, but I’m not a bitch and feel offended if I’m- or another woman is- called one. Therefore I have to believe that it’s possible to be both a feminist and a hip-hop fan.

Concerning r’n’b, we seem to live in a pseudo-feminist era. The same lady that gives us ‘Who run the world? Girls’ (here an amazing contribution by an amazing woman: http://video.feministing.com/2011/05/24/beyonces-run-the-world-not-so-much/) also sings ‘Cater to you’ (that I- out of selfhatred? Compliance? Regression?- even like).
‘Your wish is my command- I wanna cater to my man.’ Cater to You- Destiny’s Child
I was always enchanted by Beyonce’s glitterdress-girlpower-girlgroup. But I’m also enchanted by women, who work hark, make their own money, are influental public figures and don’t present themselves as sex slaves.
The only solution seems to be to believe in abstraction. We just have to tell ourselves over and over again that everything that is homophobic, or sexist or in some other way insulting, is simply a symbol (for what?).
As my literary hero Zadie Smith recently wrote:
‘And now that rap’s reached this unprecedented level of cultural acceptance, maybe we’re finally free to celebrate the form without needing to continually defend it’That might sound good to somewhat- educated ears, but helps little if one finds oneself at a hip-hop concert and hears a few dozen 20-year old scream along:

‘Retarded or mentally ill, I don’t care about her condition’

(this is from a song by the German rapper Lance Butters, and that’s the least offending line of the whole track)

I would like to believe that all the boys in the audience had thought about symbolism in rap-motives as well.
And still: When I’m rushing to the main station of my gray city on a gray morning/ when I wanna write but don’t feel like I got anything to say/ when people tell me that I should try to be more pragmatic/ balanced/ quiet, I remind myself with the help of Kanye West thatDamn, here we go again.

everybody sayin’ what’s not for him
everything I’m not, made me everything I am
damn, here we go again.
people talk shit, but when shit hits the fan
everything I’m not, made me everything I am
Hip-hop lets me live more bravely, dream bigger, and makes me not put up with shit. Maybe not even shit by the boys who encouraged me in the first place (remember: complexity is okay, and something else: you get to decide what to worship!).
What do you think?

Disclaimer: This post was written by a Feministing Community user and does not necessarily reflect the views of any Feministing columnist, editor, or executive director.

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