The Gendered Nature of Today’s Swear Words

I have been working on a project recently. My project has been to eliminate all gendered swear words from my daily use. Gendered to me means where the word comes from so, bitch referring to a female or dick referring to a male. As I made a list in my head of all the words I could no longer use I was surprised at how many there were. All the words that I typically used as playful insults with my friends were now off-limits.

I then looked deeper into the meaning behind the words I wasn’t using, not their literal meaning, but their meaning in the context of today’s usage. For example slut and whore (which I included in my “off-limits” words), both refer to a woman’s sexuality and promiscuity. Not only that, but when my mother was repeatedly calling some girls sluts she was referring to their clothing. Next is bitch and cunt which refer to a woman’s behavior. However, the definitions make the cut much deeper when these words are inflicted on you. A bitch is not just a badly behaving woman, it is a badly behaving woman who is being compared to a female dog. A cunt is an insult as well as another term for the vagina.

Then the male terms. I’ll start with dick. A dick, as well all know, is another way to say penis. It is also an insult saying: “you are being just like a dick, uncontrollable.” While I have often used this term and trust me, it was hard to get rid of it, I can understand why it is unfair and just as hurtful as the female terms. Men are ruled by their sex organ just as much as women are, ZERO, ZIP, NADA, NOTHING, NOT AT ALL, IT NEVER HAPPENS (I’ll make another post about that, so don’t ask). Next is jerk and, if you’re wondering, yes jerk is gendered. Jerk comes from the motion that a man’s arm makes when he masturbates. This, similar to slut, is shaming men for having sexual feelings. Now, please don’t get angry with me, I don’t think that slut and jerk are the same. The intention when saying them are very different and so are the definitions. While jerk simply refers to sexual feelings slut refers to acting on them. The last male word I had to cut out was bastard, something that I used a lot. I pretty much used it in the same way that I used jerk, when someone was being mean or rude (ass has substituted quite nicely). The definition of bastard is a child, typically male, who does not know who their father is. This was historically an insult because without a father you could not inherit any land or money. I understand that, but nowadays the insult lacks a little luster (actually, thats why I used it so much). However, I did have an interesting conversation with someone who found to be more offensive than I did. Honestly, I’m not sure yet what the overall affect of it is. Thoughts?

Another thing I figured out is that some words are not easily defined as gendered or not. Consider fuck. This is something that both males and females do, but does that make it more or less gendered? Also, suck (i.e. that sucks). I think this one is a little more clear as more women than men suck, but I don’t want to forget the gay men out there. I suppose a deeper look into these is needed to really know.

So, I have figured out that a surprising number of our current swear words are gendered. Especially insults. Having to function without the gendered swears is actually really hard, especially when frustrated at someone. However, I think it is a worthy cause. Try it out. Try cutting out the words that you use that are gendered and specific. Maybe you’ll learn something.