A simple guide to handling a drunk girl passed out on your couch

Found a drunk girl passed out on your couch? Unsure of what to do in this situation? Here’s a quick instructional video.

This guide is applicable for people of any gender and may be adjusted as needed in other locations.

Consent: not very difficult. But apparently some kids aren’t getting the message, so that’s got to change. Sign this petition to make consent education a mandatory part of sex ed in public schools.

Via Upworthy.

Atlanta, GA

Maya Dusenbery is an Executive Director in charge of Editorial at Feministing. Maya has previously worked at NARAL Pro-Choice New York and the National Institute for Reproductive Health and was a fellow at Mother Jones magazine. She graduated with a B.A. from Carleton College in 2008. A Minnesota native, she currently lives, writes, edits, and bakes bread in Atlanta, Georgia.

Maya Dusenbery is an Executive Director of Feministing in charge of Editorial.

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  • http://feministing.com/members/tommyd/ TomD

    Love it.

    On the topic of consent, I’ve always liked the concept of “Only an enthusiastic ‘Yes!’ means yes.”
    Though, I learned that phrase from a blog, not sex ed, which barely covered anything of actual value.

    Personally, I’ve found what works best is just flat-out asking “hey, wanna have sex?”
    (Or, “wanna make out” or “interested in giving/receiving oral sex?” or “care for a handjob/fingering?” or whatever else it is you’re looking for with the individual in question)

    A lot of people find it a little awkward, but once you get used to it it flows off the tongue as easily as “hey, wanna grab a coffee?”

    Granted, you’re a little better off using it on someone you’ve known for a bit rather than someone you’re just meeting at a party, but with the simple fact that women and men seem to like sex about equally, there’s probably an equal chance both parties could be interested in a one-night fling.

    And you have the benefit of getting a very clear answer one way or the other with no need to interpret anything.

    Also, it would be nice if sex-ed covered contraceptives a bit better. I have cousins who honestly believe condoms aren’t that effective for preventing pregnancy or STDs, which really makes me wonder what, if anything, they’re teaching those kids.

    • http://feministing.com/members/sjrboomz/ Sara R

      Love your comments, Tom! You’re totally correct about the “enthusiastic yes” thing. If guys are uncomfortable flat out asking “do you want to have sex” or feel that the woman in question might be offended by the question (which she might) the best way to move forward is by taking small steps – her reactions WILL guide you in determining what, if anything, she actually wants.

      Example: you are sitting and talking with a woman that you would like to have sex with.
      Step 1: move in closer and touch her arm, shoulder or knee (not thigh!) – these are areas that, if she is not interested, she will be able to simply move your hand away without feeling violated. Do not make the touch overly sexual – remember, you are testing the waters right now.
      Step 2: assuming step 1 resulted in her smiling at you and/or touching you back in some way, make the existing touch a little more sexual – move the hand on her knee up her leg a little bit or put your arm around her… perhaps stroke her hair.
      Step 3: with your arm around her or hand on her leg, ask her “what would you do if I kissed you right now?” ensure your next move fully reflects her answer.
      Step 4: assuming step 3 was successful, while kissing her, GRADUALLY move your hand(s) to increasingly more sexual areas. If she pushes your hand back away from the more sexual area, don’t keep going. If she likes it, chances are she will move your hand closer herself or reposition her body in such a way as to make it easier for you to put it somewhere fun.
      Step 5: if all of the signals up to this point have been clear – she wants the D – ask her if she’d like to go home with you.
      Step 6: when you have gotten her home/alone, start right back where you left off with the kissing and touching. Allow her body and her reactions to guide your increasingly more sexual moves. When you touch her somewhere new, ask her if she likes it. If she resists when you begin to try to remove any of her clothes, cease all sexual activity (kissing and touching) and ask her if she’s ok and if she would like to do anything tonight. Respect her answer.