Watch Ellen’s hilarious take down of the Boy Scouts

Last week we blogged about Obama’s opposition to the Boy Scouts ban on LGBT people. The Boy Scouts of America was supposed to vote on the ban last Wednesday, but announced that it would delay their decision until May. Ellen DeGeneres was none-too-pleased with the decision to punt the issue. In this moving and funny monologue, she sarcastically sympathizes with the Boy Scouts, saying “If the Boy Scouts start treating gays equally, they’re going to become the first group to do it — after the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, the Marines, the Coast Guard, all of the United Kingdom and Cher.”

I was surprised to see in last week’s comments on my blog post that people were defending the Boy Scouts of America’s “right” to ban LGBT people from its organization. Would you defend their right to ban people of color? Their right to ban Jews? Technically, legally, the Boy Scouts of America has the right to discriminate as a private organization. And we have the right to call them out for their bigotry and homophobia and pressure them to change their position. And Ellen is exercising her right in a very funny way.

 transcript after the jump.

So, I don’t know if you’ve been following the news about the Boy Scouts. Have you been following what’s going on? They were gonna reconsider their ban on gay members, so they had a meeting and yesterday they made their decision to postpone their decision for three months.

Now, I realize this is a big decision for the Boy Scouts because if the Boy Scouts start treating gays equally, they’re going to become the first group to do it — after the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, the Marines, the Coast Guard, all of the United Kingdom and Cher.

Obviously, I think that the Boy Scouts should allow gay members. I mean the fact that they don’t is insane. I mean, they won’t let their members be gay, or openly gay anyway, but they’re letting them wear neckerchiefs and green short shorts?

I mean this is something that a lot of people have been fighting for for a long time. In October I introduced you to a guy named Ryan Anderson and he spent 12 years in the Boy Scouts and then wasn’t allowed to become an Eagle Scout because he was gay. He devoted so much of his life to the Scouts and to deny him something that he loved is just heartbreaking to me, it really is. It makes me sad that The Boy Scouts would do this.

My brother was a Boy Scout. He learned a lot. He learned how to make those fancy knots. I was tied to a water pipe for three weeks. It was a good knot. I was a Girl Scout… for about a day, but still.

The Girl Scouts accept gay members, they don’t discriminate. Neither do their cookies. They make each and everyone one of us gain ten pounds.

And I think what the Girl Scouts and the Boy Scouts are trying to teach is important. They’re trying to teach kids to be leaders. And the more that we teach people how to accept people for who they are, the more self-confident they’ll be and the better leaders they’ll become.

And, when you really think about it, when you’re camping in the woods, do you really need to be worried about someone’s sexual orientation? You should be worried about bears, and poison ivy and poison oak, and black widows and ticks and Lyme Disease. You know, gay or straight, that sounds miserable to me. I dunno.

But I hope when the Boy Scouts finally decide to vote, they make the right decision.


Born and raised on the mean streets of New York City’s Upper West Side, Katie Halper is a comic, writer, blogger, satirist and filmmaker based in New York. Katie graduated from The Dalton School (where she teaches history) and Wesleyan University (where she learned that labels are for jars.) A director of Living Liberally and co-founder/performer in Laughing Liberally, Katie has performed at Town Hall, Symphony Space, The Culture Project, D.C. Comedy Festival, all five Netroots Nations, and The Nation Magazine Cruise, where she made Howard Dean laugh! and has appeared with Lizz Winstead, Markos Moulitsas, The Yes Men, Cynthia Nixon and Jim Hightower. Her writing and videos have appeared in The New York Times, Comedy Central, The Nation Magazine, Gawker, Nerve, Jezebel, the Huffington Post, Alternet and Katie has been featured in/on NY Magazine, LA Times, In These Times, Gawker,Jezebel, MSNBC, Air America, GritTV, the Alan Colmes Show, Sirius radio (which hung up on her once) and the National Review, which called Katie “cute and some what brainy.” Katie co-produced Tim Robbins’s film Embedded, (Venice Film Festival, Sundance Channel); Estela Bravo’s Free to Fly (Havana Film Festival, LA Latino Film Festival); was outreach director for The Take, Naomi Klein/Avi Lewis documentary about Argentine workers (Toronto & Venice Film Festivals, Film Forum); co-directed New Yorkers Remember the Spanish Civil War, a video for Museum of the City of NY exhibit, and wrote/directed viral satiric videos including Jews/ Women/ Gays for McCain.

Katie is a writer, comedian, filmmaker, and New Yorker.

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