Quick Hit: 10 things I want my daughter to know before she turns 10

I usually shy away from lists like this out of fear that they are extremely heteronormative, fat-shaming, sexist, etc. But this one… This one was beautiful and perfect. Not only did it remind me of the things I’d like to share with my daughter one day, but it made me think of things I wish my mom shared with me.

I’m particularly fond of numbers 1, 6 & 9.

1. It is not your job to keep the people you love happy.  Not me, not Daddy, not your brother, not your friends.  I promise, it’s not.  The hard truth is that you can’t, anyway.”

6. Reading is essential.  It is the central leisure-time joy of my life, as you know.  I am immensely proud and pleased to see that you seem to share it.  That identification you feel with characters, that sense of slipping into another world, of getting lost there in the best possible way?  Those never go away.  Welcome.”

9. There is no single person who can be your everything. Be very careful about bestowing this power on any one person.  I suspect you are trying to fill a gnawing loneliness, and if you are you inherited it from me.  That feeling, Woolf’s “emptiness about the heart of life,” is just part of the deal.  Trying to fill that ache with other people (or with anything else, like food, alcohol, numbing behaviors of a zillion sorts you don’t even know of yet) is a lost cause, and nobody will be up to the task.  You will feel let down, and, worse, that loneliness will be there no matter what.  I’m learning to embrace it, to accept it as part of who I am.  I hope to help you do the same.”

Please excuse me while I shed a tear. Read the rest here.

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