To start connecting please log in first. You can also create an account.
New to Feministing?
Create an account.
WHEN A CIS DUDE OFFERS HIS UNSOLICITED THOUGHTS ON ABORTION
Ha! Was I had this gif yesterday when a self-proclaimed “midwife” (I have no way of verifying that) called me “sunshine” on Twitter for criticizing her flippant attitude toward something I found offensive and demeaning to women who had had an abortion.
With friends like this…
So, this is saying that the criteria for having a relevant opinion about abortion is what exactly?
I know these GIFs are supposed to be light hearted fun and all, but this one comes across as unfunny, inflammatory and poorly thought out. Abortion rights are important to everyone, consequently everyone’s opinion about them is relevant.
Inflammatory huh? Ok, yeah, I don’t care very much about what people who can’t get pregnant think about abortion. I mean, politically, I would very much like them to support abortion rights and I think (hope!) I make clear why they should in my writing on the subject. And obviously there are specific guys whose position on abortion is relevant to me (for example, anyone I’m sleeping with and/or close to). But random cis dude who wants to give me his unsolicited opinion on abortion? Why on earth should I care? No, really don’t think everyone’s opinion is equally relevant in this case.
“I don’t care very much about what people who can’t get pregnant think about abortion”
Then why single out “cis dudes”? At least most of them can have a role in creating a pregnancy?
I would think that transwomen opinion is every bit as irrelevant by your stated criteria.
And what about the bad feelings a “cis dude” might have if a woman aborts a fetus he helped create (and wanted)? I agree he shouldn’t have the right to stop the procedure happening if that’s what the women wants, but dismissing his experience as ‘irrelevant’ seems kind of hateful.
Yep, sure, trans women too, but cis dudes are “singled out” because this is the Weekly Feminist GIF, not a comprehensive treatise, and because, in my experience, it is cis dudes who often have a problem with thinking their opinions are highly relevant to every single conversation. (Also, trans women can play a role in creating a pregnancy too so not sure what your point is.) Like I’ve already said, there are times when I care a great deal about cis dudes’ opinions on abortion. Hence the “unsolicited.” Sorry if it seems hateful to say that your opinion is irrelevant but if you also agree that it’s ultimately the pregnant women’s choice, then I think “irrelevant” is an appropriate word?
I don’t care very much about what people who can’t get pregnant think about abortion.
Okay, that’s kind of what I thought you were saying, and it’s exactly why I disagree. Adhering to this criteria means that post-menopausal women’s opinion are irrelevant, as are the opinions of infertile women of all types.
I don’t think that that is acceptable or defensible, and if the only reason you can come up with to qualify cis dudes’ opinions on abortion as irrelevant is “because they can’t get pregnant,” then I don’t think that’s acceptable or defensible either.
Again, I think the problem is you are taking this as my a comprehensive and generalizable position in all contexts. It’s a one-liner and a gif. It’s supposed to articulate my reaction in one specific context when a cis dude offers his unsolicited opinion on abortion without any acknowlegment that his thoughts might not be that relevant or important to me. You really can’t imagine why that particular dyanmic might be annoying? Come on.
This sounds quite a bit like “it’s just a joke, so how can you be offended?”
I understand that it’s a one-liner and a gif. I get the joke. I even get that it’s kind of funny.
What I don’t think is coming across is that this is your “reaction in one specific context when a cis dude offers his unsolicited opinion on abortion without any acknowlegment that his thoughts might not be that relevant or important to me.” Instead, what is coming across is, as has been noted, “only people who can get pregnant can have relevant opinions about abortion.”
All I’m saying is that this joke is more offensive than funny. What you want to do with that is totally your business.
For me personally, any time I have to start defending why what I just said/did/wrote really isn’t offensive, that’s usually an indication that I screwed up. Your mileage may vary.
Well, the cis dudes I associate with are pro-choice…I feel this GIF more embodies my opinion of anti-choicers of any sort.
Feministing is a labor of love and all our staff has other full-time jobs to support their work on the site. Your contribution is not only much appreciated, it's much needed.