Breaking news: HPV vaccine does NOT make you more “promiscuous”

Why would anyone oppose a vaccine that could protect people from the human papillomavirus and, ultimately cervical cancer? Well, there’s intellectual heavy weight and amateur scientist Michele Bachmann, who claims the vaccine causes mental retardation. But a more widespread fear among some conservatives is that it will lead to “promiscuity.” And at the end of the day, having a lot of sex with a lot of people is way worse than dying of cancer.

Of course, the science proves, once again, that there is no correlation between the HPV vaccine and sexual behavior. A new study looking at a sample of nearly 1,400 girls, found no evidence that those who were vaccinated beginning around age 11 went on to engage in more sexual activity than girls who were not vaccinated. Robert A. Bednarczyk, the lead author of the report and a clinical investigator with the Kaiser Permanente Center for Health Research Southeast, in Atlanta is “hopeful that once physicians see this, it will give them evidence that they can give to parents… Hopefully when parents see this, it’ll be reassuring to them and we can start to overcome this barrier.”

I don’t know if I believe the science, guys. I mean, I got the HPV vaccine and immediately tried to have sex with the nurse who gave it to me. Then on my way out I tried to have sex with other people in the waiting room. And don’t get me started on what I did on my subway ride home!

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One Comment

  1. Posted October 16, 2012 at 11:10 am | Permalink

    And next up, in the No Shit News, a study has proven a correlation between the sky and the colour blue!

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