Ellen Degeneres endorses Bic For Her pens

You probably saw the Amazon reviews of Bic For Her pens, which went viral a few weeks back. Ellen Degeneres is a bit late to the party, but oh, am I glad she showed up. “They come in both lady colours: pink and purple, and they’re just like regular pens except they’re pink, so they cost twice as much.” It’s moments like this I remember that Degeneres is a really good at stand up, and here, she really brings the gender politics. “So, when we’re taking down dictation from our bosses, we’ll feel comfortable, and we’ll forget we’re not getting paid as much?”

It’s solid gold. “When you have an opinion, write it down on a piece of paper, and then crumple it up and throw it away, because no one cares what we think, sweetie.” Take a look.

No transcript – I’m sorry! If anyone could add one in comments, I’d be so grateful!

New York, NY

Chloe Angyal is a journalist and scholar of popular culture from Sydney, Australia. She joined the Feministing team in 2009. Her writing about politics and popular culture has been published in The Atlantic, The Guardian, New York magazine, Reuters, The LA Times and many other outlets in the US, Australia, UK, and France. She makes regular appearances on radio and television in the US and Australia. She has an AB in Sociology from Princeton University and a PhD in Arts and Media from the University of New South Wales. Her academic work focuses on Hollywood romantic comedies; her doctoral thesis was about how the genre depicts gender, sex, and power, and grew out of a series she wrote for Feministing, the Feministing Rom Com Review. Chloe is a Senior Facilitator at The OpEd Project and a Senior Advisor to The Harry Potter Alliance. You can read more of her writing at chloesangyal.com

Chloe Angyal is a journalist and scholar of popular culture from Sydney, Australia.

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  • http://feministing.com/members/machinegirl/ Daphne

    Here’s a transcript. Feel free to edit the punctuation. <3
    So, uh, you know on my show what I like to do is I like to promote kindness and equal rights, and I don't like labels and I don't see colour, I'm like a cocker spaniel in that way. And I don't like pointing out differences especially between men and women. And I thought that women, we've made a lot of progress towards equality. And we're allowed to vote, I think since 1982 now, and we can wear pants and drive at night, all those things have happened. And then I saw something that makes me think we still have a little bit, uh, a little ways to go. It's a new product from Bic, the pen company. And they have a new line of pens called Bic for Her. And this is totally real, they're pens just for ladies. And I know what you're thinking "it's about damn time! Where have our pens been?" Can you believe this? We've been using man pens all these years. Blech! And they come in both lady colours: pink and purple. And they're just like regular pens but they're pink so they cost twice as much. That is absolutely true as well. The worst part is, they don't come with any instructions, so like, how do they expect us to learn how to write with them, you know? I was reading the back of the pack- well I had a man read the back of the package to me, and it said it's designed "to fit a woman's hand". This is all true, I'm not making any of this up. Designed to fit a woman's hand, what does that mean? Like, so when we're taking down dictation from our bosses, we'll feel comfortable, and we'll forget we're not getting paid as much? I don't know. I mean, just think over the last 20 years, companies have spent millions of dollars making pills that grow men's hair and fix men's sex lives and now ladies have a pen. God! We have, we have come a long way baby. It's so ridiculous. And they called to ask me to be their spokesperson and I was outraged! I said I will never do a commercial for you, and then they said how much they'd pay me; I was like okay. So here's the commercial we shot.
    Ellen: Oh, what's wrong sweetie?
    Girl: I don't know.. Sometimes I just feel.. different.
    Ellen: That's because you're growing up. I think it's time we had that talk – the pen talk.
    Girl: But I can't handle those man-pens!
    Ellen: That's why you need the new Bic for Her pen.
    Girl: There's a pen for women?
    Ellen: There is now! They're built strong enough for a man, but simple enough that even a woman can understand how to use them. Here's how it works: When you have an opinion, you write it down on a piece of paper and then crumple it up and throw it away because no-one wants to know our opinion sweetheart.
    Girl: Wow! What else can I do with a Bic for Her pen?
    Ellen: Well, you can use it to write down a grocery list, or even recipes for when you need to feed your man. And, it's indestructable so it'll stand up to all your wild mood swings.
    Girl: It's so pretty!
    Ellen: It's the only pen for ladies you'll ever need.
    Girl: I can use it when I become president.
    Ellen: Oh, right! Hahaha. We should get back now.
    Announcer: Bic for Her pens! For best results use while barefoot and pregnant.
    Ellen: Good jog. I need to burn off some of those calories. Keep fit
    (back to studio)
    Ellen: Wow, I wish my mom would have talked to me about lady pens.

  • http://feministing.com/members/hcwebber/ hcwebber

    Ellen has the gift of humor…obviously. How great to take something that most people would want to bang their heads in a wall over and turn it into something to have a laugh over. Way to go Ellen.
    Although she puts a comical twist on it, its scary that people would actually try to put this product on the shelves, and imagine it a success….