If Presidents are supposed to be like our boyfriend, Mitt Romney would make a terrible one

Mitt Romney has joined the race for our affections, but he’s struggling to close the deal. His responses to major political issues are vague at best and his lack of commitment is apparent in his inability to take any firm positions. No one wants to date Mitt Romney.

I hate to say it but Romney’s painful evasiveness on specifics reminds me of my problematic relationships in the past.  You ask him straight up when he walks in after being out all night, “Where have you been?” And Romney would say, “I’ll get back to you on that,” like his campaign responded to direct questions about where the candidate stood on the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.

Would a President Romney support the legislation that was President Obama’s first major signed bill or is he against it?  We honestly have no idea because Romney and his campaign avoid and dodge getting into specifics on any and everything.  Sometimes it seems like Romney is in the famous Abbott and Costello skit, “Who’s on First?” running on a constant loop.

Romney’s commitment issues don’t only impact legislation from the beginning of the Obama administration.  Currently, he won’t take a position on at least 8 major issues.  When asked about the Paycheck Fairness Act which failed to pass the Republican congress, Romney repeatedly dodged questions about his position on the bill like Neo dodging bullets in the Matrix movies.  Boyfriend Romney when asked about whether he would like to take our relationship to the next level would respond with opaque generalizations without ever answering yes or no to anything.  When asked whether he supported the re-authorization of the Violence Against Women Act Romney threw out general platitudes and failed to say anything concrete.  How charming.

Most recently, Romney’s acrobatic dodges on questions about immigration policy and specifically the president’s new mini-DREAM Act, the candidate and by extension his campaign ducked and stuttered like he was caught with lipstick on his shirt collar.

Yesterday, the co-chair of Romney’s campaign spent nearly four straight minutes trying to avoid taking a firm position on the Supreme Court’s decision on Arizona’s problematic immigration law SB1070.  As Romney continues to prove that he will stand for anything as long as the political winds lead him in that direction, it’s becoming increasingly clear that Mitt Romney may actually stand for and commit to nothing.  Romney says he wants to be in a long term relationship with the American people but all he’s given us is weak game and double speak about the reasons we should break up with the other guy.  You can’t trust him.

Romney’s superficial “nice guy” appeal and faux seriousness on the most important issues of the day tricks you into falling for him thinking that he’s different than all the other guys out there.  His appeal to moderates based on a false sense that he’s actually a moderate because he won’t take direct stances on critical issues is like when you ignore all of the red flags that your boyfriend is cheating on you.  Romney is drowning in red flags.  He’s no moderate; Romney would force you to have your baby in a world where your choice to do so or not is the established law of the land.  Romney would push for conditions so harsh for your undocumented immigrant cousin that he would just give up on America and self-deport back to the motherland.

Romney pretends to care about women’s issues, propping up his wife Ann Romney as his spokesperson and his ear to the streets all the while ducking questions about whether Ann deserves equal pay for doing the same job as a man.  Romney claims he has the business acumen to bring our economy back from the brink but it turns out he took your credit card to the strip club last night and balled out leaving you with the bill.    We shouldn’t fall for Romney’s charm; It’s all a facade.


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