So around the same time that I turned 30, my life sort of exploded. In some good ways. In some really difficult ways. I won’t belabor them here, both for the sake of my own privacy (I can imagine writing about some of it once it’s good and processed, but not quite yet) and your attention span. In any case, trust me. Life threw me a few curve balls.
So often when I would bring up the big transitions I was experiencing, women friends would nod their heads knowingly (Sami, ahem, Sami) and say, “Uh huh, that’s Saturn Returns.” Don’t know what it is? Trusty Wikipedia’s got an explanation:
It is believed by astrologers that as Saturn “returns” to the degree in which it occupied at the time of birth–approximately every 29.5 years–a person crosses over a major threshold and into the next stage of life. With the first Saturn Return, a person leaves youth behind and enters adulthood.
I have a funny relationship with astrology. For most of my life, I’ve been pretty resistant to it on the highly sophisticated rebel-against-what-your-mother-loves principle. But damn if it doesn’t sound wildly accurate sometimes. I’m still trying to crawl my way out of this damn return, but here’s a little of what I think I’ve learned about surviving it so far…
1. Don’t be too sure. Life’s got all kinds of wildness in store for your ass that you could never predict.
2. Surrender. There’s no use fighting change.
3. There comes a time in every young woman’s life when she’s got to look her mentor in the face and say, “Sometimes, you really suck.” And if her mentor is worth her title, she’ll be open to that critique.
4. Don’t, whatever you do, listen to Fiona Apple or watch (500) Days of Summer. Do jump up and down to Kelly Clarkson.
5. Therapy is good.
6. Trying to hold it all together is not.
7. Sometimes the most feminist relationships don’t come in the most radical looking packages.
8. Suffering both humbles and strengthens empathy.
9. A good hair cut is not to be underestimated.
10. Integrity and kindness are almost all there really is.