The difference between attraction, fetish and tokenism

I fully expect to be jumped on for this, as it can be a controversial subject, but it’s something which has been weighing on my mind recently and I would like to get some opinions on the subject. To start with, a little backstory:
My parents have been divorced for a few years, and since then my dad has pretty exclusively dated black women. This doesn’t bother me. What does, however, is how he does this at the expense of his own race. No white woman of size is attractive, but a WOC who is built exactly the same has “curves in all the right places”. To hear him talk, no woman will ever be as sexy or tough as “a sistah”. Then there’s the creepy part, where he says that kissing them is like the caramelized brown sugar on a pineapple upside down cake. Once, he tried to get one of his dates to reenact the subway scene from Save The Last Dance, as he was convinced that they were being stared at. He seems to feel that people stare a lot.
Now, I do find this all pretty creepy and disturbing, but feel I have no room to judge because I:
Am primarily attracted to Asian men. I won’t go so far as to say I have a fetish (defined as “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression”), though others may disagree. While I’m also attracted to other things, like tall, skinny guys with glasses, I -there’s no good way to say this- find Asian features to be the most attractive. I differ from my dad in that I don’t automatically ask out every Asian man I see, but I most definitely look. Most Saturday mornings find me parked in front of an old Samurai flick on IFC, and Heaven help me if there’s a man around who has a Japanese accent, as I’m very much in love with the language. I tried to teach myself, but, as with Welsh and French, it was a dismal failure. I could argue against my love of the Japanese language being fetishization, since I’m wired up weird and sometimes words randomly remind me of flavors or I like the “texture” of the way certain words are pronounced, and it’s not confined to one language, but that may be my only defense. When I brought my concerns, mom assured me that I wasn’t fetishizing anything since, unlike dad, I wasn’t walking around wanting people to stare at me and my interracial dating preferences, but I still worry about myself.
So, where does everyone else think the line is drawn between an attraction and a fetish? Is it never ok to say that you’re attracted to someone because of certain racial characteristics? Or is that alright as long as it isn’t your sole reason for being with them?