Shaken, Not Stirred

Earthquakes.
I have heard from many sources that the sexual freedom of women
has been the cause of instability in the home,
sexual and physical abuse,
women earning less than men,
even the breakdown of the entirety of western civilization.
But earthquakes?
A prayer leader in Iran,
a country that sees earthquakes as commonly
as women being dressed from head to toe, says
“Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently)
increases earthquakes,”

And here I thought that the earthquakes in Chile, Haiti, and Mexico
were caused by the shifting of tectonic plates,
when really it must have been caused by Pamela Anderson’s outfits in
Dancing with the Stars.
The seismic activity in Iceland wasn’t caused by Mother Nature,
it was the shortness of plane stewardesses’ skirts.
California, if you don’t want to drift into the ocean,
you better make sure that you relocate Los Angeles
and FAST,
because your porn industry will be the cause of your complete destruction.
Silly, right?
We in the States can point a finger and laugh
at the ignorance of the Middle East,
but remember that our own Jerry Falwell
blamed the 9/11 attacks on abortionists, feminists,
and homosexuals.
At least Iran only blames disasters on women’s tits.
Although I’m sure that if women in Iran were allowed to show
anything but their eyes to the general public,
the next step might be to make sure they couldn’t write,
and if their women took pen to paper
then they might not be able to work,
and if they did that,
then their work might not be worthy of equal value.
I think you get the picture.
Iranian women’s rights are only a couple stones throws away
from our own.
Yes, we work.
Yes, we wear what we like.
Yes, we have full ownership of our bodies.
But how much of society’s nose is still looking down on us for it?
How many women cut their work hours in half when they have a baby?
How many of them are antagonized when they don’t?
How many of us find that, when we dare to bare our thighs and breasts
on a Saturday night
we are harassed, ogled,
and have our worlds shaken up by sexual assault,
and almost unanimously blamed for it.
How many of us remain silent when we choose to end a pregnancy?
Roe gave us the right,
but our communities tell to sit down and be quiet about it,
because shame must be hidden,
not brandished like a banner.
Maybe the prayer leader is right.
Maybe we do shake up the world.
Maybe if women everywhere just shut up and crossed their legs
the world could
settle down.
But I have a song in my heart,
a song that would be sung
even through prison gates.
So let them
say we talk too much.
Let them say
we conceal too little.
Let them say we’re the cause
of all the war,
all the violence,
all the earthquakes and other natural disasters
they can think of in their tiny little minds.
Because I don’t mind
being told that I’m part of the reason
that things are being
shaken up.