Notes from a bitch…reflecting on the “punishment from God” claim…

Shall we?
Last week I was disturbed to see news reports that a Virginia Delegate, Robert G. Marshall, charged that women who have abortions run the risk of birth defects in later pregnancies that are a punishment from God.
Mr. Marshall has since tried to clarify his remarks, which were first reported by Capital News Service (produced by students at the Virginia Commonwealth University), but has only succeeded in lodging his foot more firmly into his mouth.
The issue is not what Mr. Marshall said…
“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion who have handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the firstborn of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children.
“In the Old Testament, the firstborn of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord,” he added. “There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest — and with the knowledge that they have in faith, it’s been verified by a study from Virginia Commonwealth University — first abortions, of a first pregnancy, are much more damaging to a woman than latter abortions.”
…but what he meant by what he said.
Marshall has since made clarifying statements that claim that what he really meant was that women who have abortions (particularly if it’s a “first born”) will be punished because the Old Testament says so. Marshall goes on to say that he did not mean that disabled children are a punishment, even though I don’t see how that works and I suspect his reluctance to follow his own inaccurate logic to completion has it’s roots in the fact that doing so wouldn’t be consistent with his traditional family values brand identity.


Sadly, this “punishment from God” rhetoric ain’t new and it shows a resistance to eradication not unlike a MRSA infection.
I grew up with the ramifications of this mess, so I’m particularly disgusted by it.
As most of you know, my older brother is profoundly autistic. Even before he was diagnosed, doctors and my parents knew there was something wrong with him…extreme hyperactivity, hyper-sensitivity to sounds and light and so forth and so on led them to believe he was dealing with “something” long before that something was identified as autism.
Way back in the early 1970’s, some doctors still blamed mothers for developmental disabilities in their children. My mother was told her son would never “thrive”…would never tell her he loved her or be able to “suffer her touch”…and she was advise to institutionalize her 18 month old child immediately.
My mother was also told that all of this…every part of it…was her fault because she didn’t touch my brother enough, or she must have left the fridge door open…or she breast fed him too long, didn’t breast feed long enough, or that she picked him up too much or didn’t pick him up often enough. While trying to come to terms with a diagnosis that was, at the time, defined as the absence of a diagnosis my mother was forced to defend herself against accusations that she was emotionally distant or she was too emotionally dependent…she was told a laundry list of reasons why she was at fault and all right on top of being told her son, my brother, was a “lost cause”.
Being a person of faith, my mother turned to her church for comfort and support after the doctors turned on her.
Her church responded with an indictment of their own that pretty much mirrors the statements made by Mr. Marshall. Her preacher tossed accusations at her…she denied each specific sin…and he tossed out more accusations. The conclusion was that my mother had sinned at some point in some way and that my brother was her punishment for that…but, if she could “get right with God”, my brother would be cured.
Even the “cure” was on her shoulders…and those shoulders began to fold under the weight of all those accusations and absolute responsibility.
I watched my mother struggle with the guilt leveled on her by idiots like Marshall and misguided doctors for years…and it left permanent emotional damage to her and my family. We eventually found fantabulous doctors who cleared up all that bullshit and eased some of the guilt my parent’s were feeling…but many in the religious community never came correct. As demonstrated by Mr. Marshall’s verbal malfunction, many people of faith still cling to the belief that disabilities are punishments for past sins and “cures” or “healthy” kids are God’s way of rewarding a purpose driven God fearing natural birth control method using and one man + one woman married life.
Obviously, I disagree.
My brother is a lot of things…fantabulous, loving, caring, a great friend, amazing brother, he’s loyal, forgiving and a hard worker…but he’s not a punishment or a curse.
My mother didn’t bring autism down upon my brother and our family through her reproductive health care choices or poor parenting.
As my brother’s advocate and guardian, I reject the “punishment from God” rhetoric because it is insulting at best and it attempts to absolve society of our responsibility to respect difference at worst. Many of the same so-called family value politicians who spew that mess are the same fiends who turn around and vote against autism insurance legislation and reject funding social programs that benefit older autistic folks like my brother.
I reject this rhetoric because of the woman hating inaccuracy of it…because the claim causes emotional distress and perpetuates a lie that has hurt generations of women.
It is long past time the rancid insults of the “punishment from God” and/or “refrigerator mothers” charges die a painful death and stay dead.
I can only hope I live to see a time when women don’t have to suffer and defend against this shit…
…but me and mine will always have the scars to remember it by.

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