A lot of other people have already written about John Mayer’s shameful interview in Playboy where he basically throws everyone he knows into his spotlight of woman hate and racism.
I have never been a fan of John Mayer, I think his music sucks. And after reading this interview and others like it, I can safely say that he sucks. But I don’t care about him, I care about what his words say about discourses of race and sexuality.
This above apology is hilarious and narcissistic in a way that only someone who thinks making racist and sexist comments about people he knows as “being edgy and witty.” Yes, he cries and so do his back-up singers, but I think it would be more touching if his apology actually got to the heart of the problem of what he said.
As Kenyon Farrow discusses on his blog, it is not his use of the “N-word” I find most troubling about his interview. It is his depiction of black women, white women and sexuality. From the interview,
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
Right, because the only black women that are gorgeous are the ones that white men want to bone. Kenyon writes,
Now, let me say that he also discusses his sex life with his former girlfriend Jessica Simpson in detail, which is also repulsive, and with no regard for what that might mean for her. But for now, I am talking about the black women who found themselves in this story. It’s clear that he associates all these black actresses as some nearly-white enough in class, hair texture or affect as to be “white enough for his David Duke dick” to fuck, but clearly also views them, based on his description of his imagined Washington, as sexually as loose and irreverent as the white women he normally fucks. All of this is every kind of wrong.
Mayer’s response to the interview isn’t that he shouldn’t have said the things that he said, it is that in his “great” service to us, the public, he is worn out and tired of coming off like an asshole no matter what he does.
And ultimately I am forced to ask, will he be hated forever like Kanye was after his mess up at the American Music Awards? Will the victims of his little racist sexualized tirade be upheld, the way Taylor Swift has been as the “pure and innocent” victim of big bad mean Kanye? No, probably not, because it is still considered edgy, deserving and just to say racist and sexist things about black women with no accountability, mechanism for remorse or narrative to say otherwise.
And let’s be clear, his depiction of how he perceives white women also feeds into hateful ideas of women’s sexuality and fear of the vagina. It is all just very sad and very telling.
Hey Mayer, take a tip from Kanye and quit while you are ahead. It is not that you sound like an asshole, it is that you are an asshole.
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Like a friend of mine said to someone who said, “I’m tired of people treating me like an asshole.”
Well, then maybe you should quit acting like an asshole.
Someone pointed out John Mayer’s song “Daughters” as the Nice Guy ™ anthem. When will this ass use up his 15 minutes of fame and fade into blessed obscurity.
Why are you supporting Playboy by linking to them?
A. He used the word “clever” over 8 times. B. Yes, I’m sorry John Mayer that people “persecute” you and try to “pin you down” for saying hurtful things. How difficult for you. C. So play the guitar, and be quiet.
I’ve never quite understood the fascination with this guy, but I am pure 100% disgusted. Last week I had heard on the radio about some tirade he had gone on about on Twitter and thought yet again what idiots so many of our public figures are. Then this? Wow.
I am getting soooo sick of John Mayer. The more I hear from him the more I want to vomit. For real.
And his whole quote naming specific black women he finds gorgeous is just…giberish. Is he listening to himself talk? He’s not making any sense. “She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy.” What does that even mean, John? But I can make enough out of his nonsense to tell that he’s a complete doucheweasel.
And yeah, so annoyed with the whole apologizing for people “thinking I’m an asshole” instead of apologizing for BEING an asshole! That’s not a real apology! That’s basically saying that he’s sorry everyone has misunderstood him and his intentions and they weren’t as smart and witty as he was so they didn’t get it. No, we got it John: you’re a doucheweasel.
What a tool. That video is unbearable. I can’t remember the last time I rolled my eyes so much.
He is so disgusting… then again, he’s always creeped me out. That “Body is a Wonderland” song is just about the most repulsive thing I’ve ever heard passed off as a “love song.”
And what the hell does he mean, Kerry Washington “would break your heart like a white girl?” Is that what white girls do, suck other guys off and then use it to make their boyfriends jealous? News to me.
The part about Jessica Simpson is really infuriating. Basically reducing her to a sexual commodity that he would sell his soul to fuck. Disgusting. He sounds like a 16 year old boy, not a grown man. How in the world has he attracted such lovely girlfriends?
I kinda understand his Hilary Fresh Prince reference.
The first black guy I had the hots for was Urkel/Stephen in the sitcom Family Matters.
The most disturbing part of Mayer’s interview in Playboy?
The part where he says he has sex with women because it feels like he is raping every man they ever had sex with before him.
The only people I’ve ever met who say stuff like that are convicted violent felons who had spent a long time in prison.
In other words, Mayer has the mentality of a violent felon and a rapist.
That’s NOT saying he’s done anything like that – but he sure as hell thinks like the kind of guys who do!
I love John Mayer’s music. Or loved, should I say.
I thought “Daughters” was sweet and heartfelt and was my favorite song for a long time…boy, I never knew what a pig he was until that interview came out.
http://www.someecards.com/somewhat-topical-cards/i-hated-john-mayer-long-before-his-penis-hated-black-women
Daughters might be sweet if it didn’t have the verse about how boys can be strong and you can find out how much they can take, implying that girls are just fragile flowers at the mercy of the world. I HATE that song. Also, I think it says that fathers should be good to their daughters so they can have successful relationships with men, not so that they can, you know, be themselves.
Meh, happily none of my Af-Am friends care. About his music, opinions, or tastes. He just doesn’t matter. Honestly they are annoyed that what some random white dude opinion of black women is supposed to mean something in the first place.
Hmmm, I never perceived that verse as being sexist until you pointed it out.
Surprising how much I don’t look into the meaning of lyrics, when I should before I go supporting the artist.
Mayer didn’t become a douchebag overnight….
trigger alert
Back in October 2009, during an interview with a reporter from New York Magazine Mayer said that he wanted to “forcefully sodomize” a woman who was an editor at that publication
http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2009/10/john_mayer_threatens_to_sodomi.html
But it’s not necessarily all about him or caring about him, as this article points out: “But I don’t care about him, I care about what his words say about discourses of race and sexuality.” That’s why stuff like this does matter. This isn’t just some stand alone incident where we can just point to some asshat like John Mayer and say “well he doesn’t matter so who cares.” This happens all the time. We need to point out the bullshit and say why talking in this way is wrong.
My GOD he sounds like such a fucking douchebag here it’s amazing. All of the responses are uneducated, aggressive, and reek of self-loving.
I almost want to read his other interviews now so I can laugh at his stupidity.
Wish I could like this 5 times for each use of the word “doucheweasel”.
whoa. that’s sociopathic.
the lack of fit between his “nice guy anthem” music and his utterly jaw-dropping sexist comments makes me thing of Ted Bundy or something. That dude’s got a screw loose.
Frankly what I’ve found much more revealing about this is the readiness with which large portions of Twitter have leapt to his defense (with comments like “if John Mayer is racist, are gay people sexist?” and “he’s apologized, what more do you want?”).
The unfortunate truth is that if you’re someone like John Mayer, accusations of racism and sexism aren’t going to hurt your career all that much. You think of recent cases like Don Imus and that put his career on hold for all of what, six months? Even Michael Richards only caused the outrage he did because of the right sort of media attention and a recording that made him appear really genuinely unhinged (as opposed to the Mayer interview, where one could at least plausibly argue that it’s an act — not that this in any way absolves him, but I think people might have a slightly easier time defending him).
What does this mean? Well, it means that I really wonder about the motivations of people who are lining up to defend him. I don’t think Mayer is going to lose his career over this. I’m not sure there was ever a risk of that. If you don’t defend him, though, there’s a risk you’ll have to think about complicated, unpleasant social problems. You might have to admit that telling “jokes” of that sort is really a problematic thing to do. And we can’t have that.
Yes, that makes me so mad. It’s one of those phony apologies that just puts the blame onto anyone other than himself. “Oh, I’m sorry that you just didn’t understand me. I should’ve known better than to try to intellectualize it.” Blech.
I am sorry but I have to point out that even when John Mayer is trying to apologize his tone of voice is still arrogant.
The line “Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers” is reason enough for feminists to hate this fuckhead. It’s the perfect distillation of the idea that the only worth a woman has is in her fertility, and denies her any agency beyond her relationship to the man who trains her to be the perfect little wifey who can’t wait start fulfilling her biological destiny.
It’s even worse than that horrible line about a “bubblegum tongue” in “Your Body is a Wonderland.” Supposedly that was written about Jennifer Love Hewitt, and I’m amazed that she let him live for characterizing her in such revolting terms.