Not Oprah’s Book Club: Start Where You Are

I grew up with a father who sat on the cushion every morning for 30 minutes, sometimes told me “all life is suffering” when I would act like I was being personally injured by something trivial, and had a vast library of Buddhist books. Just as I rebelled against my mom’s feminism, it took me awhile to come around to my dad’s Buddhism, but of course, once I did, I had admit there was a hell of a lot of important wisdom in the spiritual path he’s chosen.
In any case, this winter I’ve discovered Pema Chodron and have been tearing through her incredible writings. Most recently I read Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living. The gist of the book is the notion that all of our experiences–both delightful and disastrous, all of our emotions–both joyful and wretched, are a lesson and a gift. The range of experiences we encounter are our tools for becoming more awake, more kind, and more present.
Chodron is such a great thinker, but so are many Buddhist gurus of the day. What really sets her apart is that her writing is unexpected, fresh, and so often funny. She lived in the “real world” for much of her life, so she understands the frustrations that come with cooking dinner, watching the news, and making ends meet. In fact, she had her spiritual awakening when her husband left her for another woman. Talk about experience as teacher.
In any case, here are a few of my favorite lines:

Only to the degree that we’ve gotten to know our personal pain, only to the degree that we’ve related with pain at all, will we be fearless enough, brave enough, and enough of a warrior to be willing to feel the pain of others.
We spend a lot of time trying to nail everything down, concretizing, just trying to make everything solid and secure. We also spend a lot of time trying to dull or soften or fend off that vividness…This moving away from comfort and security, this stepping out into what is unknown, uncharted, and shaky–that’s called enlightenment, liberation.
We could all just lighten up…with our minds we make a big deal out of ourselves, out of our pain, and out of our problems.

If you’re going through a hard time, interested in Buddhist thought, or want to increase your capacity for compassion in this difficult time, check Chodron out.