Some Non-Racist, Non-Sexist Halloween Costume Ideas

Every year we read about the worst sexist and racist Halloween costumes. And get really angry or bummed out about what should be a fun excuse to play dress-up.

So let’s discuss some alternatives, shall we? Most of these ideas can be thrown together last-minute — because how many of us really plan our costumes that far in advance? (Warning: Some ideas may contain shoulder pads.)

Radical, Militant Librarian

Need: Books, beret, sash, “shushing” skills.
Related ideas: Radical Doula (heeeyyy Miriam!), Radical Cheerleader, Radical Zombie

The Ghost of Health Care Bills Past

Need: White sheet, stethoscope
Related ideas: Ghost of Immigration Reform Bills Past, Ghost of Equal Rights Amendments Past. (Or apparently, given the image I’ve selected, Ghosts of Stevie Nicks Past.)

A Photoshop Disaster

Need: A t-shirt with a body drawn on it that’s less than half the size of your own. Or something (Haven’t really figured out how to make this one work yet…)
Related ideas: This is part of the grand Halloween tradition of just drawing some shit on a T-shirt… Could also be done with a Death Becomes Her Halloweeny twist.

Kanye West

Need: These, microphone, and a willingness to repeatedly make the “Imma let you finish” joke.
Related ideas: Taylor Swift (Couple costume!)

Nancy Pelosi

Need: Suit (preferably w/ skirt, not pants), gavel, shades, funky-but-understated jewelry.
Related ideas: Condi Rice, Hillary Clinton.

Dolly Parton

Need: Blonde wig, lots of sequins, guitar, falsies.
Related ideas: Leslie Hall

John Waters

Need: Garish-patterned suit jacket, drawn-on thin mustache, bowtie, drag-queen pals.
Related ideas: A dandy, Steve Buscemi (but only if you’ve got the looks for it.)

Judy the Talking Embryo

Need: Garbage bag, helium (to either inflate the bag or inhale to make your voice embyro-like). More info here.
Related ideas: Betty the Talking Blastocyst, Ollie the Talking Ovum.

Rickie Vasquez (from My So-Called Life)

Need: Drum-major jacket, hair gel, earring, shoulder pads, a buddy to go as Angela Chase.
Related ideas: Thriller-era Michael Jackson, actual drum major

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Need: Lacy neckerchief thing, black robe, clip-on earrings, bun, glasses.
Related ideas: Sonia Sotomayor

Heathers (Group idea!)

Need: Blazer with serious shoulder pads, croquet mallet, AquaNet, white tights.
Related ideas: 90210 (the original, obvs)

Richard Simmons

Need: Short track shorts, curly wig, thick white socks, tank top.
Related ideas: Evil aerobic clown

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Need: Fur, face paint, friends who like 30 Rock and will get the joke once you start singing.
Related ideas: Vampire Bar Mitzvah, Goblin Bar Mitzvah

Bea Arthur (RIP! This is an in-memoriam costume idea, one that I will probably use this year.)

Need: Gray wig and/or curling iron and gray spray-in hair color, a serious silk tracksuit, shoulder pads. Gratefulness for being a friend.
Related ideas: Other Golden Girls, obvs.

Last-minute cop-outs:
Shark: Tape a cardboard fin to your back
Unicorn: Tape a cardboard cone to your forehead
Narwhal: Tape a skinnier cardboard cone to your forehead.

Other costume ideas? C’mon I know you’ve got some good ones, so leave them in comments (including instructions on how to put it together). I’ll keep adding to this post as good ideas pop up.

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Male viewer writes letter to the editor explaining why women can’t play soccer

This weekend, England’s women’s soccer team played Germany in an historic match at Wembly national stadium. As the Independent reports, “It was the first standalone game for women at the home of football, drew a record crowd of 46,000, was shown live in TV coverage on the BBC, and introduced a generation of young girls to the idea of the women’s team being treated the same as the men for the first time.” 

After the game, one male viewer, David Hickey, wrote a letter to the editor asking why it was aired when women’s soccer clearly doesn’t compare to the men’s game. “Women can’t play football,” he wrote. “They don’t even know the basic rules.” Here’s his full message:

 

As ...

This weekend, England’s women’s soccer team played Germany in an historic match at Wembly national stadium. As the Independent reports, “It was the first standalone game for women at the home of football, drew a ...

Quick Hit: We Regret To Announce That Your Request Of “Gotta Hear Both Sides” Has Been Denied

Sorry, not sorry

Thank you for your recent inquiry about hearing both sides. According to our records, this marks the fourth submission in as many days as to whether or not we have heard both sides. We regret to inform you that we have not.

On March the 2nd, you interrupted a conversation by asking “In fairness, have you heard both sides?”

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While in an ideal world perhaps we would listen to all sides, the volume of requests we receive on a daily basis makes this impossible. We have decided to move ahead with our ...

Sorry, not sorry

Thank you for your recent inquiry about hearing both sides. According to our records, this marks the fourth submission in as many days as to whether or not we have heard both ...