So let’s discuss some alternatives, shall we? Most of these ideas can be thrown together last-minute — because how many of us really plan our costumes that far in advance? (Warning: Some ideas may contain shoulder pads.)
The Ghost of Health Care Bills Past
Need: White sheet, stethoscope
Related ideas: Ghost of Immigration Reform Bills Past, Ghost of Equal Rights Amendments Past. (Or apparently, given the image I’ve selected, Ghosts of Stevie Nicks Past.)
A Photoshop Disaster
Need: A t-shirt with a body drawn on it that’s less than half the size of your own. Or something (Haven’t really figured out how to make this one work yet…)
Related ideas: This is part of the grand Halloween tradition of just drawing some shit on a T-shirt… Could also be done with a Death Becomes Her Halloweeny twist.
Need: Suit (preferably w/ skirt, not pants), gavel, shades, funky-but-understated jewelry.
Related ideas: Condi Rice, Hillary Clinton.
Need: Blonde wig, lots of sequins, guitar, falsies.
Related ideas: Leslie Hall
Need: Garish-patterned suit jacket, drawn-on thin mustache, bowtie, drag-queen pals.
Related ideas: A dandy, Steve Buscemi (but only if you’ve got the looks for it.)
Judy the Talking Embryo
Need: Garbage bag, helium (to either inflate the bag or inhale to make your voice embyro-like). More info here.
Related ideas: Betty the Talking Blastocyst, Ollie the Talking Ovum.
Rickie Vasquez (from My So-Called Life)
Need: Drum-major jacket, hair gel, earring, shoulder pads, a buddy to go as Angela Chase.
Related ideas: Thriller-era Michael Jackson, actual drum major
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Need: Lacy neckerchief thing, black robe, clip-on earrings, bun, glasses.
Related ideas: Sonia Sotomayor
Heathers (Group idea!)
Need: Blazer with serious shoulder pads, croquet mallet, AquaNet, white tights.
Related ideas: 90210 (the original, obvs)
Need: Short track shorts, curly wig, thick white socks, tank top.
Related ideas: Evil aerobic clown
Werewolf Bar Mitzvah
Need: Fur, face paint, friends who like 30 Rock and will get the joke once you start singing.
Related ideas: Vampire Bar Mitzvah, Goblin Bar Mitzvah
Bea Arthur (RIP! This is an in-memoriam costume idea, one that I will probably use this year.)
Need: Gray wig and/or curling iron and gray spray-in hair color, a serious silk tracksuit, shoulder pads. Gratefulness for being a friend.
Related ideas: Other Golden Girls, obvs.
Shark: Tape a cardboard fin to your back
Unicorn: Tape a cardboard cone to your forehead
Narwhal: Tape a skinnier cardboard cone to your forehead.
Other costume ideas? C’mon I know you’ve got some good ones, so leave them in comments (including instructions on how to put it together). I’ll keep adding to this post as good ideas pop up.