Oprah says “No,” to Chris Brown

Larry King Live will be doing an interview with Chris Brown this Wednesday, after he was denied by Oprah,

After being turned down by Oprah, Chris Brown is planning to give his first interview since the assault this coming Wednesday on CNN’s Larry King show.
According to radaronline.com, he will be formally sentenced on that day and his team is hoping to snag an interview with Larry King immediately afterwards. During the interview, he plans to apologize again and finally talk about the night he assaulted Rihanna. His handlers believe that King will allow Chris the opportunity to get his apology across without facing “brutal questioning”.

(h/t Jaclyn Friedman)
Interesting choice of words there, “brutal questioning..” It is clear that Oprah has no love for Chris and I think this show that she dedicated to domestic violence explores that,

I am glad she took a stance and denied him access to her audience with his bullshit plea for us to accept his apology.
I feel I have to continue writing about this story because it continues to boil my blood, so apologies for all the airtime. Last week, I got in an argument with a well known male writer about the way that people were dealing with Chris Brown’s apology. The argument revolved around comments left on his facebook page by young men calling Chris Brown “a bitch” for apologizing and a series of comments by young women about how they bought the apology and felt sorry for Chris. I was not shocked by these reactions, but was struggling to find a way to talk across this difference. With the men, I had zero patience and frankly, if you ever think it is OK to hit a woman, under any circumstance, you and I share a world view so vastly different, that I don’t know where to begin.
Furthermore, I can’t say if these women are drawing from personal experience or they just believe Chris Brown, but I know what it doesn’t mean. I don’t know what is it like to be in a (physically) abusive relationship, but I know what it means to be around violence or to have it be normalized in the world around you. I know what it is like to live in a world where violence against women is so normalized, that you end up defending the person that hurt you. It is interesting that a facebook comment would create this much turmoil for me, but it did, I was deeply saddened by the comments.
A violent world hurts us all. But I still struggle with the lapse in dialogue that seems harshest along racial and class lines. How do we talk across the difference in experiences with violence to build a broad based anti-violence movement and effectively centralize the needs and voices of those most affected by violence in their lives and their communities? And how do we even begin to tackle the kind of sexism embedded in the statement that Chris Brown was a “bitch” for apologizing. Saying, “they don’t mean it like that,” or “he would never hurt a woman,” is really not good enough.
Related:
On Chris Brown’s Public Apology
Black women’s bodies, voyeurism and Rihanna
Beyond Chris Brown and Rihanna: An interview with Elizabeth Mendez Berry
The media reminds us, famous women have no right to privacy.
Rihanna and Chris Brown might be getting back together, allegedly.

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40 Comments

  1. slavekal
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

    I don’t trust any guy who can’t pronounce the word ASK.

  2. cattrack2
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 4:05 pm | Permalink

    “And how do we even begin to tackle the kind of sexism embedded in the statement that Chris Brown was a “bitch” for apologizing?”
    Honestly it starts with letting Chris Brown apologize. I certainly felt like his apology was self serving (face it, he’s a celebrity–it was). But Chris Brown will be 1000X more effective at fixing this problem than 1000 Feministing blogs. I can’t recall another young black star accused of DV (at least since the ’60s & Ike Turner). Accepting his apology doesn’t make what he did alright, its simply the 1st step in penance. Its also the 1st step in getting both his male & female fans to accept the fact that DV is never ok. Honestly, as long as we don’t accept his apology, his fans will feel justified in calling him a bitch. For Chris this should be the kickoff in a lifelong “Domestic Violence is never ok” tour.

  3. MzBitca
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 4:16 pm | Permalink

    I don’t know if this was meant to be funny but it’s not okay since it plays on racist/classist stereotypes

  4. msmam
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 4:23 pm | Permalink

    Part of me is glad Oprah denied Chris Brown a platform. But the rest of me would much, much rather have Oprah grilling him and putting him to shame in front of her millions of viewers then Larry King.

  5. gholtby
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 4:39 pm | Permalink

    Larry King really will have anyone on, won’t he?

  6. theology_nerd
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 4:50 pm | Permalink

    ITA. The apology is just a first step in what should be a lifetime of change and repentance.
    As a Christian, I’m all about grace, mercy, and forgiveness, and I think that Chris Brown deserves those as much as anyone else. That said, Chris Brown is going to have to do some pretty serious work if he truly wants to regain the public’s respect and trust. I’m sort of glad that Oprah didn’t give him airtime, because appearing on her show would give him a measure of credibility that he really doesn’t deserve yet. Until he’s made a real change, he shouldn’t get that kind of public forum for his apology.
    Personally, I’m waiting to see him make public statements against domestic violence, donate millions to women’s organizations, build a DV shelter, and start writing music that promotes respect for women. Will any of that undo what he did? No, but it will show that he’s sincere when he says that he’s sorry.
    I’m also really saddened to hear that young men are saying such negative things about Brown’s apology. A “real man” doesn’t use violence to get his way, and a “real man” apologizes when he’s made a mistake…and we need to start hammering this message into our young men and boys.

  7. little
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 5:05 pm | Permalink

    I’m really glad you keep writing about this, Samhita. This issue is bringing a lot of attention, both negative and positive, to teen dating violence and domestic violence. It is giving a platform both to victim-blamers and dv advocates. In the end, I really hope the messages that the advocates are putting out are the ones that permeate public consciousness. Continuing to analyze what Brown does with his celebrity persona, to offer constructive criticism, and to struggle with the decision of whether or not to accept his words is very important for all of us. I don’t think we have to or should expect feminists to respond equally to Brown. I do think we have to and should expect them (ourselves) to continue to deconstruct what happens on a personal, national, and global level regarding violence in society, especially violence against women.
    Chris Brown is now even more than before in a position to influence society, especially our society of youth, regarding how to behave in relationships and in the world. I’m trying to be optimistic that he will step up and, as other commenters have mentioned, make this the first part of a lifelong crusade against domestic violence. He is young enough that I have hope he can change. He is old enough that I fear he will not. I am anxious to see how this all plays out.

  8. callmesister
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 5:17 pm | Permalink

    Agree- interesting post making that point up on feminist majority foundation campus blog

  9. cattrack2
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 5:44 pm | Permalink

    I agree with you theology nerd. I think its certainly too soon for him to appear on Oprah, but also on Larry King–he should “earn” a Larry King appearance. To extend your Christianity angle, “faith without works is dead.”

  10. marie123
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 5:45 pm | Permalink

    I fail to see how accepting an insincere apology will do anything to help people understand that domestic violence is a problem. I saw his so-called apology and all he did was recite an obviously rehearsed statement that was undoubtedly written by someone else in an attempt to appease his fans. He showed no real understanding of the gravity of what he did and no true remorse. I don’t accept that kind of apology and I think that doing so would only undermine the seriousness of what he did.

  11. somebody42
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 5:57 pm | Permalink

    theology_nerd is right on. Accepting an insincere apology just gives these people license to do whatever the hell they want, no matter how egregious, without consequences, as long as they say “sorry.”
    “Accepting his apology doesn’t make what he did alright, its simply the 1st step in penance.” Who’s penance? Ours?
    “Its also the 1st step in getting both his male & female fans to accept the fact that DV is never ok.” If you mean that, by accepting his apology, his fans are acknowledging that he did something to apologize for, I see what you’re saying. I’m afraid I’ve been on the receiving end of “but I said I was sorry!” from a person who did not admit he was in the wrong with no intent or attempt to change too many times (“he” is meant literally, in this case).
    “Honestly, as long as we don’t accept his apology, his fans will feel justified in calling him a bitch.” This, I do not understand. We have to kiss his @ss so his fans won’t see him as being weak like, g-d help us all, a woman !!

  12. rhowan
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 6:25 pm | Permalink

    “With the men, I had zero patience and frankly, if you ever think it is OK to hit a woman, under any circumstance, you and I share a world view so vastly different, that I don’t know where to begin.”
    This statement makes me a little uncomfortable, because of its broadness and its selectivity. I’m generally against hitting anyone, particularly people smaller and weaker than you, of either gender, but I do make exceptions for circumstances like self defense (within reason). The idea that it’s never okay to hit a woman, any woman, under any circumstance feels oddly paternalistic.

  13. PDXHopeful
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 9:23 pm | Permalink

    I have to laugh at the idea of getting a sincere apology out of an abuser. Never seen one that wasn’t trying to excuse the inexcusable.
    For what it’s worth, I hope he does do better in the future and is involved in anti-domestic violence work. I still wouldn’t trust him, or anyone with a history of committing domestic violence, with any female acquaintance of mine.

  14. msmam
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 9:30 pm | Permalink

    Thanks callmesister – that’s a great post and exactly my point. Larry King’s forte is softball celebrity interviews, and I’m pissed that that’s what Chris Brown will likely get.

  15. nestra
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

    It made me uncomfortable too, and you managed to define the reason perfectly. The statement reeks of the assumptions that a woman can never be the aggressor, a woman is always weaker than a man, and it is every man’s duty to be protective of every woman.

  16. sarah
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

    How?

  17. Nepenthe
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 10:08 pm | Permalink

    The pronunciation of the word “ask” is different than standard in many English variants considered to be improper/low class. The difference is especially marked in some regional versions of African American Vernacular English.
    So this statement is equivalent to “I don’t trust any guy who speaks AAVE.”

  18. Samhita
    Posted August 4, 2009 at 11:09 pm | Permalink

    Good point…suggesting violence is only inexcusable between a man and a woman was an oversight, i could have framed that better to include all different kinds of violence. thanks!

  19. Peepers
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 12:31 am | Permalink

    ..apologies for all the airtime…
    Yeah, Jeez Samhita, how dare you take up space by making all of these words about something that interests your ladybrain? ;)

  20. rebekah
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 1:34 am | Permalink

    even oprah has her standards and I say good for her. No one should let him on. We all need to ignore his very existence and maybe he will just go away. He does not deserve to be a celebrity. He belongs in jail but because he is a celebrity nobody does anything about it.

  21. asdf
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 2:07 am | Permalink

    I HAD to comment on this blog due to some of the overly judgemental and uninformed statements I see on here. First of all, I am SURE, I am the only person on this blog that has even heard of Chris Brown before this incident. I have watched this kid along with my teens since the beginning of his career. And there is NO young celeb out today more humble, respectful, and grounded than Chris Brown was/is. The fact that he can be judged by this one incidnet, horrible as it might seen, is ridiculous.No one can erase the fact that he brought his entire family out of the trailer parks of Virginia to a better quality of life. And made that a priority at a very young age.No one can judge this kid by the fact that he grew up in Virginia,and Harlem and has a southern drawl/accent. How important is that in judging someone’s character?And the arrogant person that made that statement is just showing their ignorance because no one in America speaks the true Queen’s English. But most of all, I KNOW that his apology was sincere. I have seen the way he completely respects women, has a special bound with his mother, who is also his manager. Why him and RIhanna have to be demonized by the entire world or be the opening to discuss domestic violence amazes me. Why wasn’t it discussed when Jack Nicholson did it, Charlie SHeen, Sean Penn, Tommy Lee, Christian Bale, William Shatner. Why couldn’t this topic be discussed when the other A-list celebs committed horrific acts of violence against their mates. For one reason, it was kept too hush hush by mainstream media and your blogs as well as the typical fact that the legal system treated them totally different than they did Chris Brown. For one, they didn’t even pick up the charges. And no first time offender, without anytype of record belongs in JAIL for ‘fighting’ with someone. And if this is truly a feminsit site, then no one on here will believe it’s ONLY wrong for a man to hit a woman, but acceptable for a woman to slap on or hit on a man. Which I’m sure will come out if Chris ever tells his side of the story. I am most grateful, that with both of their actions, no innocent bystander was hit with all this going on while a 19 year old was driving a high powered Lamborghini. One last statement – Oprah needs so much help to heal from her child hood molestation that no black male is ever safe around her. Her career has had to be her mate due to her deeply seated issues that she’s never taken time to resolve.

  22. asdf
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 2:08 am | Permalink

    I HAD to comment on this blog due to some of the overly judgemental and uninformed statements I see on here. First of all, I am SURE, I am the only person on this blog that has even heard of Chris Brown before this incident. I have watched this kid along with my teens since the beginning of his career. And there is NO young celeb out today more humble, respectful, and grounded than Chris Brown was/is. The fact that he can be judged by this one incidnet, horrible as it might seen, is ridiculous.No one can erase the fact that he brought his entire family out of the trailer parks of Virginia to a better quality of life. And made that a priority at a very young age.No one can judge this kid by the fact that he grew up in Virginia,and Harlem and has a southern drawl/accent. How important is that in judging someone’s character?And the arrogant person that made that statement is just showing their ignorance because no one in America speaks the true Queen’s English. But most of all, I KNOW that his apology was sincere. I have seen the way he completely respects women, has a special bound with his mother, who is also his manager. Why him and RIhanna have to be demonized by the entire world or be the opening to discuss domestic violence amazes me. Why wasn’t it discussed when Jack Nicholson did it, Charlie SHeen, Sean Penn, Tommy Lee, Christian Bale, William Shatner. Why couldn’t this topic be discussed when the other A-list celebs committed horrific acts of violence against their mates. For one reason, it was kept too hush hush by mainstream media and your blogs as well as the typical fact that the legal system treated them totally different than they did Chris Brown. For one, they didn’t even pick up the charges. And no first time offender, without anytype of record belongs in JAIL for ‘fighting’ with someone. And if this is truly a feminsit site, then no one on here will believe it’s ONLY wrong for a man to hit a woman, but acceptable for a woman to slap on or hit on a man. Which I’m sure will come out if Chris ever tells his side of the story. I am most grateful, that with both of their actions, no innocent bystander was hit with all this going on while a 19 year old was driving a high powered Lamborghini. One last statement – Oprah needs so much help to heal from her child hood molestation that no black male is ever safe around her. Her career has had to be her mate due to her deeply seated issues that she’s never taken time to resolve.

  23. asdf
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 2:09 am | Permalink

    I HAD to comment on this blog due to some of the overly judgemental and uninformed statements I see on here. First of all, I am SURE, I am the only person on this blog that has even heard of Chris Brown before this incident. I have watched this kid along with my teens since the beginning of his career. And there is NO young celeb out today more humble, respectful, and grounded than Chris Brown was/is. The fact that he can be judged by this one incidnet, horrible as it might seen, is ridiculous.No one can erase the fact that he brought his entire family out of the trailer parks of Virginia to a better quality of life. And made that a priority at a very young age.No one can judge this kid by the fact that he grew up in Virginia,and Harlem and has a southern drawl/accent. How important is that in judging someone’s character?And the arrogant person that made that statement is just showing their ignorance because no one in America speaks the true Queen’s English. But most of all, I KNOW that his apology was sincere. I have seen the way he completely respects women, has a special bound with his mother, who is also his manager. Why him and RIhanna have to be demonized by the entire world or be the opening to discuss domestic violence amazes me. Why wasn’t it discussed when Jack Nicholson did it, Charlie SHeen, Sean Penn, Tommy Lee, Christian Bale, William Shatner. Why couldn’t this topic be discussed when the other A-list celebs committed horrific acts of violence against their mates. For one reason, it was kept too hush hush by mainstream media and your blogs as well as the typical fact that the legal system treated them totally different than they did Chris Brown. For one, they didn’t even pick up the charges. And no first time offender, without anytype of record belongs in JAIL for ‘fighting’ with someone. And if this is truly a feminsit site, then no one on here will believe it’s ONLY wrong for a man to hit a woman, but acceptable for a woman to slap on or hit on a man. Which I’m sure will come out if Chris ever tells his side of the story. I am most grateful, that with both of their actions, no innocent bystander was hit with all this going on while a 19 year old was driving a high powered Lamborghini. One last statement – Oprah needs so much help to heal from her child hood molestation that no black male is ever safe around her. Her career has had to be her mate due to her deeply seated issues that she’s never taken time to resolve.

  24. asdf
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 2:11 am | Permalink

    I HAD to comment on this blog due to some of the overly judgemental and uninformed statements I see on here. First of all, I am SURE, I am the only person on this blog that has even heard of Chris Brown before this incident. I have watched this kid along with my teens since the beginning of his career. And there is NO young celeb out today more humble, respectful, and grounded than Chris Brown was/is. The fact that he can be judged by this one incidnet, horrible as it might seen, is ridiculous.No one can erase the fact that he brought his entire family out of the trailer parks of Virginia to a better quality of life. And made that a priority at a very young age.No one can judge this kid by the fact that he grew up in Virginia,and Harlem and has a southern drawl/accent. How important is that in judging someone’s character?And the arrogant person that made that statement is just showing their ignorance because no one in America speaks the true Queen’s English. But most of all, I KNOW that his apology was sincere. I have seen the way he completely respects women, has a special bound with his mother, who is also his manager. Why him and RIhanna have to be demonized by the entire world or be the opening to discuss domestic violence amazes me. Why wasn’t it discussed when Jack Nicholson did it, Charlie SHeen, Sean Penn, Tommy Lee, Christian Bale, William Shatner. Why couldn’t this topic be discussed when the other A-list celebs committed horrific acts of violence against their mates. For one reason, it was kept too hush hush by mainstream media and your blogs as well as the typical fact that the legal system treated them totally different than they did Chris Brown. For one, they didn’t even pick up the charges. And no first time offender, without anytype of record belongs in JAIL for ‘fighting’ with someone. And if this is truly a feminsit site, then no one on here will believe it’s ONLY wrong for a man to hit a woman, but acceptable for a woman to slap on or hit on a man. Which I’m sure will come out if Chris ever tells his side of the story. I am most grateful, that with both of their actions, no innocent bystander was hit with all this going on while a 19 year old was driving a high powered Lamborghini. One last statement – Oprah needs so much help to heal from her child hood molestation that no black male is ever safe around her. Her career has had to be her mate due to her deeply seated issues that she’s never taken time to resolve.

  25. asdf
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 2:12 am | Permalink

    I HAD to comment on this blog due to some of the overly judgemental and uninformed statements I see on here. First of all, I am SURE, I am the only person on this blog that has even heard of Chris Brown before this incident. I have watched this kid along with my teens since the beginning of his career. And there is NO young celeb out today more humble, respectful, and grounded than Chris Brown was/is. The fact that he can be judged by this one incidnet, horrible as it might seen, is ridiculous.No one can erase the fact that he brought his entire family out of the trailer parks of Virginia to a better quality of life. And made that a priority at a very young age.No one can judge this kid by the fact that he grew up in Virginia,and Harlem and has a southern drawl/accent. How important is that in judging someone’s character?And the arrogant person that made that statement is just showing their ignorance because no one in America speaks the true Queen’s English. But most of all, I KNOW that his apology was sincere. I have seen the way he completely respects women, has a special bound with his mother, who is also his manager. Why him and RIhanna have to be demonized by the entire world or be the opening to discuss domestic violence amazes me. Why wasn’t it discussed when Jack Nicholson did it, Charlie SHeen, Sean Penn, Tommy Lee, Christian Bale, William Shatner. Why couldn’t this topic be discussed when the other A-list celebs committed horrific acts of violence against their mates. For one reason, it was kept too hush hush by mainstream media and your blogs as well as the typical fact that the legal system treated them totally different than they did Chris Brown. For one, they didn’t even pick up the charges. And no first time offender, without anytype of record belongs in JAIL for ‘fighting’ with someone. And if this is truly a feminsit site, then no one on here will believe it’s ONLY wrong for a man to hit a woman, but acceptable for a woman to slap on or hit on a man. Which I’m sure will come out if Chris ever tells his side of the story. I am most grateful, that with both of their actions, no innocent bystander was hit with all this going on while a 19 year old was driving a high powered Lamborghini. One last statement – Oprah needs so much help to heal from her child hood molestation that no black male is ever safe around her. Her career has had to be her mate due to her deeply seated issues that she’s never taken time to resolve.

  26. asdf
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 2:13 am | Permalink

    I HAD to comment on this blog due to some of the overly judgemental and uninformed statements I see on here. First of all, I am SURE, I am the only person on this blog that has even heard of Chris Brown before this incident. I have watched this kid along with my teens since the beginning of his career. And there is NO young celeb out today more humble, respectful, and grounded than Chris Brown was/is. The fact that he can be judged by this one incidnet, horrible as it might seen, is ridiculous.No one can erase the fact that he brought his entire family out of the trailer parks of Virginia to a better quality of life. And made that a priority at a very young age.No one can judge this kid by the fact that he grew up in Virginia,and Harlem and has a southern drawl/accent. How important is that in judging someone’s character?And the arrogant person that made that statement is just showing their ignorance because no one in America speaks the true Queen’s English. But most of all, I KNOW that his apology was sincere. I have seen the way he completely respects women, has a special bound with his mother, who is also his manager. Why him and RIhanna have to be demonized by the entire world or be the opening to discuss domestic violence amazes me. Why wasn’t it discussed when Jack Nicholson did it, Charlie SHeen, Sean Penn, Tommy Lee, Christian Bale, William Shatner. Why couldn’t this topic be discussed when the other A-list celebs committed horrific acts of violence against their mates. For one reason, it was kept too hush hush by mainstream media and your blogs as well as the typical fact that the legal system treated them totally different than they did Chris Brown. For one, they didn’t even pick up the charges. And no first time offender, without anytype of record belongs in JAIL for ‘fighting’ with someone. And if this is truly a feminsit site, then no one on here will believe it’s ONLY wrong for a man to hit a woman, but acceptable for a woman to slap on or hit on a man. Which I’m sure will come out if Chris ever tells his side of the story. I am most grateful, that with both of their actions, no innocent bystander was hit with all this going on while a 19 year old was driving a high powered Lamborghini. One last statement – Oprah needs so much help to heal from her child hood molestation that no black male is ever safe around her. Her career has had to be her mate due to her deeply seated issues that she’s never taken time to resolve.

  27. asdf
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 2:18 am | Permalink

    I HAD to comment on this blog due to some of the overly judgemental and uninformed statements I see on here. First of all, I am SURE, I am the only person on this blog that has even heard of Chris Brown before this incident. I have watched this kid along with my teens since the beginning of his career. And there is NO young celeb out today more humble, respectful, and grounded than Chris Brown was/is. The fact that he can be judged by this one incidnet, horrible as it might seen, is ridiculous.No one can erase the fact that he brought his entire family out of the trailer parks of Virginia to a better quality of life. And made that a priority at a very young age.No one can judge this kid by the fact that he grew up in Virginia,and Harlem and has a southern drawl/accent. How important is that in judging someone’s character?And the arrogant person that made that statement is just showing their ignorance because no one in America speaks the true Queen’s English. But most of all, I KNOW that his apology was sincere. I have seen the way he completely respects women, has a special bound with his mother, who is also his manager. Why him and RIhanna have to be demonized by the entire world or be the opening to discuss domestic violence amazes me. Why wasn’t it discussed when Jack Nicholson did it, Charlie SHeen, Sean Penn, Tommy Lee, Christian Bale, William Shatner. Why couldn’t this topic be discussed when the other A-list celebs committed horrific acts of violence against their mates. For one reason, it was kept too hush hush by mainstream media and your blogs as well as the typical fact that the legal system treated them totally different than they did Chris Brown. For one, they didn’t even pick up the charges. And no first time offender, without anytype of record belongs in JAIL for ‘fighting’ with someone. And if this is truly a feminsit site, then no one on here will believe it’s ONLY wrong for a man to hit a woman, but acceptable for a woman to slap on or hit on a man. Which I’m sure will come out if Chris ever tells his side of the story. I am most grateful, that with both of their actions, no innocent bystander was hit with all this going on while a 19 year old was driving a high powered Lamborghini. One last statement – Oprah needs so much help to heal from her child hood molestation that no black male is ever safe around her. Her career has had to be her mate due to her deeply seated issues that she’s never taken time to resolve.

  28. labyrinth
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 4:24 am | Permalink

    Yes, we can see how sincere his apology is and how much he respects women by looking at his tasteful new piece of jewellry, a $300,000 blingy reading ‘oops’.
    http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/07/13/2009-07-13_chris_brown_parties_wearing_a_300000_oops_necklace.html

  29. Brian
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 8:14 am | Permalink

    Even if it’s obvious enough that Brown doesn’t really mean it, the inescapable overarching message is that society deems his actions something that needs to be apologised for.
    This really shouldn’t be news to anyone, but there’s a common feminist complaint that the point isn’t made often enough, so it may well qualify as a 0th order good in this fashion.
    Of course, if he refused to apologise, he’d no doubt be condemned loudly left, right, and centre, so it may well be worse than if he had refused to. I dunno.

  30. http://openid.aol.com/percat6
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 8:22 am | Permalink

    While i do agree that race and class play a huge part in media coverage of this incident, and that it reveals racism (not because this issue was covered, but because this issue was covered and others weren’t. And you can just IMAGINE the scandal if Rihanna were white), I still think it is a mistake to say “Oh, he is a good person most of the time, so he is incapable of doing something like this.” How many women have been abused or raped and had people testify against them saying things like “He was such a good man, he wouldn’t do this?” The craigslist murderer’s fiancée was in total denial of the things he did.
    I’m sure Bill O’Reilly is perfectly nice to his friends and to those he thinks highly of. That doesn’t make him less of a racist, sexist, homophobic jerk. I have a great deal of respect for Immortal Technique and his stances of class & race, and when I first started listening to him he was one of my favorite musicians– until i listened more closely and heard his sexist & homophobic words.
    If Chris Brown truly “completely respects women,” then WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?
    I totally agree with you on the accent thing, though.

  31. preppy
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 8:23 am | Permalink

    you’re absolutely not the only person on this blog that has heard of chris brown before this incident.

  32. preppy
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 8:28 am | Permalink

    you know, the Oprah Winfrey Show is not an democratic forum. She has a right to deny any guests she wants to. Whether or not Chris Brown would have been a meaningful guest on the show we will probably never know. But Oprah does have the right to say she does not want a particular person on her stage, after all, it’s her show. I’m not going to speculate on what could have happened had he had a chance to be a guest, who knows? he made a horrible mistake. Beating someone up is just NOT OK. Many many many people, men and women, have anger issues and violence issues and need to deal with them. But that doesn’t mean that anytime someone famous feels bad for having lost their sh*t that the media has to give them non-stop microphone access to bleat out their apologies.

  33. FLT
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 9:00 am | Permalink

    Continuing the Christian angle, even Veggietales (hardly a bastion of feminism) has as its apology tagline, “First, you say you are sorry–and mean it. Then, you MAKE it RIGHT.”
    And Oprah’s issues have nothing to do with it.

  34. jellyleelips
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 9:52 am | Permalink

    Okay, first of all, I was a fan of both Chris Brown and Rihanna before this happened. And I wouldn’t give a fuck if Chris Brown shit gold pieces and built orphanages before all this happened, he still beat up his girlfriend. Sorry.
    I agree with you that the media handled this horrendously, and that part of that is because domestic violence fits so well into a lot of white people’s perception of Black and hip-hop culture. But Chris Brown does not deserve shit from anyone. No patronizing lovey-dovey nonsense about how he’s really not a bad guy. He deserves to have his talent as a singer and dancer respected, not his character. Kinda like Michael Jackson. Michael dangled his son over a balcony and allegedly sexually abused children, but that does not take away from the fact that he was a hugely talented man. I’m just going to respect him for his talent, not who he was as a person. Same thing with Chris Brown.
    And, Chris Brown was not “fighting” with Rihanna as you say. He beat her.

  35. ATorres
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 9:59 am | Permalink

    “But most of all, I KNOW that his apology was sincere. I have seen the way he completely respects women”
    Your absolute certainty on his apology and your belief that if “his side of the story” comes out that he would be justified in hitting because she hit first or hit back, shows your bias and minimization of the violence he inflicted. That is the complexity and difficulty of DV: we never truly know if offenders have changed or not. They could be the best student in batterer intervention classes and right after class be beating the crap out of their partner. I certainly would not want to vouche for someone who has used such horrific forms of violence without actually knowing, listening to, and witnessing his “respectful” treatment of women. If we can’t know this with members of our own community, how can you possibly know this with a celebrity?
    “And if this is truly a feminsit site, then no one on here will believe it’s ONLY wrong for a man to hit a woman, but acceptable for a woman to slap on or hit on a man.”
    Part of being a feminist is also paying attention to context, gender, and power. Of course it’s wrong for anyone to use violence, however, the victims of DV are overwhelmingly female with offenders being overwhelmingly male. The research out there that suggests gender symmetry with regards to IPV is consistently disregarding the context in which women use violence and the ways in which the true offender uses other types of control, coercion, and manipulation to abuse. DV is a pattern of abusive, controlling, behaviors, that doesn’t always just include physical violence. Being hit and hitting also have different meanings based on gender (and other factors). There is very little evidence I have seen that suggests when a guy is hit by a girl, that he is in fear or feels threatened by that act. Studies that look at the context in which women hit, show that they very rarely are doing it as a means of exerting control or power over their partner…which is different to how men use violence. Obviously there will be some exceptions to this, but in general you have to look at the context before you can just say “if she hit first, he has a right to hit back.” It’s just not that simple.

  36. jellyleelips
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 10:39 am | Permalink

    Oh, and what the fuck does Oprah’s past have to do with how she spoke about the Chris Brown incident? All Black males are unsafe around Oprah? What the fuck? Does Oprah have a huge record of beating and terrorizing Black men? Should Barack Obama have refused to appear on her show? Seriously, don’t use some superficial mocking of Oprah’s “issues” to downplay her comments.

  37. LalaReina
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 11:00 am | Permalink

    Well put and thank you I could not agree with you more. Oprah is pretty damn judgmental for a reformed crackhead.

  38. Meggy B
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 1:58 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for pointing out the implications of that comment. I’m “mixed” and although I excelled in English class all throughout high school and college, ASK is still a word that I have a lot of trouble pronouncing. It always comes out ASS if I’m being lazy or ASKKKKT if I try to over compensate.

  39. Opheelia
    Posted August 5, 2009 at 4:11 pm | Permalink

    And no first time offender, without anytype of record belongs in JAIL for ‘fighting’ with someone.>>
    I completely disagree. Translate the violence from this instance (repeated punching, strangulation, and bashing a head against a car’s interior) to any other situation, and I would still say he deserves a jail sentence. The fact that it was perpetrated against an intimate partner means that he also needs batterers’ intervention rather than anger management, which would be the recommendation if he had assaulted a friend or a stranger in the same manner.
    And you’re missing the point: THIS WASN’T FIGHTING. She wasn’t coming back with equal force.
    “And if this is truly a feminsit site, then no one on here will believe it’s ONLY wrong for a man to hit a woman, but acceptable for a woman to slap on or hit on a man.”
    Of course it’s not ok. Self-defense is one thing, escalation of a situation by increasing violence and force is quite another. If my boyfriend slaps me and I continue to kick the shit out of him when he’s no longer a threat, that’s a problem.

  40. Shadowen
    Posted August 6, 2009 at 7:10 pm | Permalink

    As Jon Stewart once said, impersonating Larry at the end of an interview with a certain German dictator: “Hitler! We’ll be back with Loni Anderson.”

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