Ask Professor Foxy: Am I Weird Because I Have Pubic Hair?

This weekly Saturday column “Ask Professor Foxy” will regularly contain sexually explicit material. This material is likely not safe for work viewing. The title of the column will include the major topic of the post, so please read the topic when deciding whether or not to read the entire column.

Professor Foxy,
I am newly divorced from a relationship I began at age 17. I am now 29, and playing the field a bit. Truly enjoying some of my new found freedom and exploring my sexuality in many ways, for the first time.
Recently, it was brought to my attention that I am a little different. You see, I don’t shave my pubic hair. It’s not that I never have, its that I don’t really like to. I trim, keep it neat and aesthetically pleasing to my tastes. I have played around with shaving, have bought and used the best and sharpest razors, and really tried to make it work. What I’ve discovered is that it’s a pain in the butt (how does a mom find that much time alone to shave labia!), the shave is never close enough (always the sensation of stubble at least in some areas) and man am I afraid to cut myself! Plus, you have to shave all the time! A vulva with a 5 o’clock shadow is not sexy to me, neither is razor burn, and my crotch feels itchier and sweatier when I’m hairless (where my newly shaven skin touches the insides of my thighs).
Right now, I’m giving up, and I guess I don’t understand why so many women do this? Do I just have more and thicker hair than most women, making shaving just not right for me and my body? Is every woman just living with the discomforts I experience? My partner who mentioned it (he’s much younger and I think I was the first woman with pubic hair he has ever slept with, haha, I’m proud) basically indicated it was better for him as far as cunnilingus. That seems fair enough. It’s a pragmatic enough reason, and for the same reason I prefer it when my partner shaves or at least trims and does basic maintenance.
On the other hand, what the fuck?! I am a woman, not a little girl! The unapologetic feminist in me wants to flip anybody who doesn’t like pubic hair the bird!
Why are so many women doing this; pragmatic reasons, purity myth, both? Is having pubic hair such an anomaly that it is something I need to discuss with a new sexual partner before hand? I don’t want to have sex with a guy who thinks my pubic hair is a novelty.
Sincerely,
(Insert any catchy non-offensive name of your choosing pertaining to my lovely pubes
Hi IACNNOYCPTMLP –
Hair is one of the new feminist sex frontiers. Pubic hair and its trimming, shaping, and full removal were not the talked about and at times expected topic until the 90s. On its most basic level pubic hair exists to cushion the skin and genitalia of men and women during sex.
While it is now portrayed as the norm to shave and remove pubic hair, I doubt that it is “the standard” that the media implies that it is. On a sex etiquette level, I think some trimming is appropriate (for all genders). It provides easier access to genitalia with less of a chance of getting pubic hair in one’s partner’s mouth.
You are a grown and mature woman, who has made a decision about her body that is right for her. Stick with it. Lovers who reject you based on your pubic hair are asking you to change your decisions about your body. It may not be as serious as abortion, but it is still your body and your body integrity.
Every woman has different thickness and amounts of pubic hair, there is no standard. What matters is what you want. Some women may love removing their pubic hair (via shaving, waxing, or depilatory). Shaving is not itchy for everyone; it really depends on how sensitive your skin is.
Beyond the pragmatic reasons for removal of pubic hair, we cannot ignore our society’s obsession and fetishization of youth. The pressure to remove and limit women’s pubic hair is certainly an example of this. There is also another aspect of this that speaks to women being available and ready for sex by having constantly sculpted genitals.
You know what is best for you and have made the decision what works for you. Stick with it. Society will always pressure women to maintain a false version of perfection and this has reached even into our genitals.
Best,
Professor Foxy
If you have a question for Professor Foxy, send it to ProfessorFoxyATfeministingDOTcom.