Let’s All Become Blonde Haired and Blue Eyed! Beauty Standards…

I have always struggled with beauty standards. A recovering anorexic and a zillion other identifiable eating disorders have consumed my life since I was 13. I am now 21…
Upon entering college, my eyes were opened wide with various Gender and Sociology classes which have not only changed my life (hence logging onto this blog, reading it daily, and now- writing in it..) but given me this newfound perspective on what I think beauty is and why.
I can remember as far back as four looking through magazines with my older sister and picking out which girl we thought was the prettiest- I cannot help but look back and wonder why we cared so much… I can remember in middle school, the beginning of my seven year battle with food- getting ready with friends for football games. We would doll ourselves up in the mirror, curl our hair; pick out an outfit that showed a nice hint of the little cleavage we had. Why did we care so much?
Looking back on my youth has made me understand how influential society, peers, the media, EVERYONE contains a very ingrained idea of what beauty is.
SO- here I am asking- what is beauty? I don’t need the whole- “beauty is in the eye of the beholder bullshit” -it’s not (in the very very physical sense that I am speaking of anyways). I asked a coworker this question- and she told me that “biologically men were attracted to blonde hair and blue eyes because they represented youth…” SO do men in China or India (if technology and transportation were not possible) despite that majority of women in these areas do not have the ideal blonde hair and blue eyes look- are they still attracted to women with blonde hair and blue eyes? Or is it (ah ha- light bulb moment!!!) this crazed youth obsessed culture, with mastermind white males (not all males now i know, but think back– when media outlets were founded) running the advertising, entertainment, and all other media outlets industry!?

These thoughts were the result of meet a very intelligent guy a few weeks ago. We always have the amazing conversations, have music, nutrition, travel, etc.. too much in common. We were looking at this website together- and this BLONDE HAIR (i am in no means, trying to insult women with blonde hair, just the value/reputation society has given it over time..) 100LB, FAKE CHESTED woman posing very seductively, with- (get this) A Slab of meat- MEAT covering her nipples…. and the “intelligent” guy goes- “Now THAT! is my type of girl (and the proceeds to go on and on about how hot she is..).” While he is rambling, my insides start boiling. Thousands of thoughts race through my head. My little crush on the intelligent man is tarnished ( I know everyone is entitled to their opinion on who they are attracted to, but COME ON!- just thought he was more than that).. I walk away from the conversation disappointed that AGAIN someone who I thought could see things a little different saw what he was only programmed to see….
In my struggle with beauty, body image, and everything in between, I can no longer be defeated. I have spent so much of my life trying to be this idea of perfection- without questioning whose idea of perfection- and why!?? Or even questioning what I myself am attracted to- and why? (I feel as though I have very unconventional ideas of beauty but, what’s unconventional anyways!?)
I decided to kick the beauty standards ass. In need for a physical change that made me feel a little better about myself- I went to the local grocery store after my conversation with the “intelligent” man, got a box of dark-dark brown hair dye (my hair was this light honeyish ash blonde/brown color)- did not ask a single person if I should do it- and dyed my hair. This step may seem small to some of you out there. But- for me it meant a lot. I was breaking free from anyone who told me I wasn’t “good enough” (especially since I have spent so much time trying to be just that). This experience was freeing for me. I believe more than the thousands of women dying their hair platinum blonde, getting a boob job, not eating for a week, trying out the latest anti-aging product, buying the latest thing that Meghan Fox is wearing. For once in all of my struggles of beauty standards in my head, I did something that did not involve any magazine (what “color” is in right now?), any television, anything- just my own little personal way of sticking my middle finger to society and the beauty image standards. Call me flawed because my act was a result of someone else’s opinion- okay. But as the brown dye was washing down the drain in the shower, I saw all those beauty standards I struggle with- slowly sink down the drain, I was the true beauty that I had been searching so hard for within myself.