Roller coaster rides

This is actually a post about sex, specifically the “kinky”/BDSM stuff. Great. Prepare for tons of comments.
Anyway, I’ve been wrestling for a long time about the fact that I am very feminist and yet enjoy playing “submissive” in bed. Nothing super-kinky, IMO, but there it is. It’s been tough to grapple with, and especially hard to take a stand mentally against rape culture while feeling like a complete hypocrite really.
Until I realized something important: there’s a difference between a roller coaster ride and a car accident. I LOVE roller coasters, and thrill rides generally. I mean that literally, as well as figuratively. I loved the ride “Earthquake” at Universal. But the reason I love these things so much is because I feel absolutely safe. The safety makes it so that I CAN enjoy it. That’s what’s ultimately important.
And I can understand why someone else would not like that kind of ride. Maybe they actually experienced the trauma of a real earthquake or car accident. Or maybe it’s just not for them. Totally reasonable. Doesn’t mean they “hate” theme parks, right?
But how would I respond to someone who says “when you enjoy riding on the earthquake ride at Universal, you’re basically saying you don’t give a shit about real earthquake victims”. And it’s just so not true.
I’m extremely concerned about rape and sexual assault. Intensely fearful for my daughter even more than myself. Men who fail to question rape culture (or even worse, encourage it) completely turn me off. I could never feel safe with them.