The confidence to cum

It’s nearly impossible for me to orgasm during sex without clitoral stimulation.  With my first sex partner, I NEVER had an orgasm during sex. I was with him an entire year, and the sex was really good, but it felt unfair because he always got to finish but I never did. After sex, he was all satisfied and I still felt like I was going to die from how horny I was, and usually he‘d go to sleep and I’d get myself off. (Ha, sorry if that‘s too graphic)

Not that he didn’t try to make me cum, he did, but he only tried to give me a G-spot orgasm. He sort of thought that if it wasn’t going to happen in this, or that position, it just wasn’t going to happen.
Eventually me and the ex broke up, and I found a new boyfriend and thought maybe this time we’d have a better connection, better sex and then I’d cum during sex.
NOPE. Still nothing. For weeks and weeks, we’d have sex and he’d always get to cum and I didn’t.

I was so frustrated. I felt like every girl in the whole world can cum during sex except me. Never mind the statistics, because I felt alone. I knew what I could do to cum. I knew exactly what to do all along. All I had to do was reach down and stimulate my clit with my own hand during sex, and I would cum. I knew this, but I never wanted to do it.
I was afraid that he’d be weirded out/grossed out.
-I thought that he would be offended that it wasn’t HIM giving ME the orgasm.
-I thought all kinds of irrational things and I can keep naming them

In other words, I was worried about what he was going to think of me. It was all about him, not me.
Well, one glorious day I found the courage to try my little plan. I reached down and did it, and it took a little while, but he wasn’t weirded out. He didn’t ask what I was doing, like I anticipated. I stimulated my clit and had an amazing orgasm, and I felt so accomplished. Not only was I finally fully satisfied, but I was proud of myself for finding the confidence to do it. I’ve done the same thing with every partner I’ve had since, and to this day I cum EVERYTIME we have sex. And it’s amazing. And nobody has told me I’m weird.
And that’s the key word here: Confidence.

I don’t think I ever really felt I deserved to orgasm. If you would have framed it like that, I never would have admitted it, but I just think that’s what it comes down to.  I guess I felt like I needed permission to come. If it wasn’t going to happen _______way then why should I take it into my own hands (literally)?  
It takes a lot of confidence as a woman to be able to make yourself cum while having sex, when you’ve always been told it should ‘just happen’. When you’ve been told that it should always be something that HE does to YOU.  Something he MAKES you do. But it doesn’t always happen like that.

I know that not all women want or need to cum during sex. I understand that some women can cum during sex from G-spot stimulation, and can have clitoral orgasm from having him/her touch you. Some cum before sex, or after, and everything in between.

But for those of us who want to cum during sex but can’t do it from penis/vagina intercourse only, we have to do it ourselves and our partners have to be okay with it.
We need to tell ourselves that WE DESERVE IT ! We need the confidence to cum.