An Open Letter about Rape

My rape did not occur because I didn’t communicate. My friends and I, without going into too many details, communicated; we kicked and screamed. The men involved all had a sense of entitlement; they believed they had the right to our bodies. Communication won’t work if one person isn’t listening or doesn’t think you deserve a voice. The fact that so many men would rape if they could get away with it is revealing. How many men would physically hurt someone if they could get away with it? If that number is lower, I’d say it shows how highly some men think of women’s bodies.

It has taken me a lot of time to be okay with what happened to me, to stop blaming myself for someone else’s decision to put his sexual wants over my psychological and physical health and some days I still question myself. I have gone through that night over and over asking what I could’ve done differently. The impression I got from your class today was one of judgment, the idea that women are as much to blame as the men who victimize them, and it hurt, but more importantly, it lets victimizers off the hook for their actions.