In a Matriarchal Hell

It’s hard to convey to men exactly how it feels being a woman in patriarchy, but I thought I’d give it a go. If the order of patriarchy were reversed and we operated in a matriarchal hell, here’s how I envision society:
Sex and relationships:
My guess is that the penis and its functions would be mocked as a form of incontinence. It would be seen as something fairly silly and useless, an appendage to be used by women for their higher purpose of getting pregnant, an appendage that could ‘go off’ at any moment and didn’t obey the man it belonged to. It would be seen as a symptom of childish male nymphomania. Porn in the matriarchal dystopia would be full of a mockery of premature ejaculations and ‘whores’ getting erections in spite of their protestations. The same in a milder form would be true of music videos. The male inability to have many consecutive orgasms or sustain an erection would be lamented as ‘frigidity’. The penis might be regarded as such a gross object that women would gossip in front of men about how gross an unshaven one was.

Sexual assault:
Men would be put on trial if they dared to report it, with lawyers suggesting that because they came or had an erection, they were to blame. Within marriage (he gives up his name, of course), it would be commonplace for women to have sex with a man whether he liked it or not. People would argue that this was right and proper, and also that any man fathering a child by rape should be a father to the child or he’s worse than a killer.
Religion, science and politics:
Men’s subordinate position would be seen as the ‘natural order’. Since they don’t give life, it would be argued that they were there to ‘help’ the women give birth to the next generation, and to serve them. This would be ordained in the holy books of almost all the world’s religions. God and her daughter would be painted and sculpted in a ridiculously idealised fashion on the ceiling of famous chapels, in temples and everywhere else. Men would be blamed for bringing deceit to the world. The religious right would vilify them and tell them they were undermining family values and were wicked and evil.
Men’s testosterone would be blamed for not giving them good jobs as they would be ‘irrational’ and ‘needlessly angry’. People would look to the praying mantis and black widow to justify their position. The middle-aged white female scientists would agree with most of the population that ‘of COURSE women have authority, how can it possibly be disputed when you compare the sexes?’
The USA would never have had a male president, women would still earn a dollar thirty-six for every dollar a man makes, men would be beaten and used as a matter of course in other countries, but people would be arguing that equalism had gone way too far and there was no need for it these days.
There would be monuments, graves and a day of remembrance to the brave sisters who died in childbirth before there was good enough science to prevent it, but nothing at all for men. Equalists would be called ‘ungrateful’ and ‘crazy’ for suggesting that there be a monument for young men who were forced to kill each other in fields.
In school, students would study books by trite bigoted women about women. Statues of proud heroines, lady philosophers and scientists would be in parks everywhere.
Any man insisting he’s not an angry, useless fuck would be accused of ‘trying to act like a woman’. In spite of the daily pain faced by men, otherwise perfectly decent women would joke about making men get back in the kitchen and make a sammich.
Leave your own suggestions in the comments – what would an oppressive matriarchal equivalent of our society look like?