Home for the holidays

Two different takes on seeing family this time of year…
from SLB at Post Bourgie:

Whenever I go back there, I never quite know what to say. How do you answer for why you’re not in one of those townhomes? You, who insisted on going around the mulberry bush to get a couple of degrees instead of just stacking paper at the post office right out of high school? How do you return to a school reunion and tell your homeowning, child-rearing former classmates that you live on your fam’s couch while you’re building your curriculum vitae?

and from Antigone at PunkAssBlog:

Unpleasant aspects number two: This has been a problem for awhile now, but now that Hubby and I are married, it’s put into even sharper relief: where are we going to spend Christmas? The various families all want us at their houses*, which are functionally on the other end of the country. The worst part of all of this? I don’t want to go to ANY of the family for Christmas; because by some sort of unspoken contract that I was not a party to, we are only allowed to talk about: the weather, sports, new births, new relationships (on a very shallow level, and no talking about heartbreak), new jobs and food. Oh, and I’m no longer allowed to talk about the weather because I keep using meteorological terms and I brought up global warming once. I’m also forbidden from talking about, in no particular order: politics, books, movies, social movements, college, and the biggest one: religion.

Sure, you can go home again. But for some of us, it’s pretty damn uncomfortable.

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53 Comments

  1. AndersH
    Posted December 1, 2008 at 7:25 am | Permalink

    I’m thankful for this thread!
    It’s sad, but also quite cathartic.

  2. a cup of coffee
    Posted December 1, 2008 at 11:22 am | Permalink

    I’m so sorry. I face the exact same situation with my mother, and my father has spent his entire life enabling her behavior while beating the crap out of me and my youngest sister. The most fucked up thing is that my middle sister was the “ideal child,” and so she completely buys into the idea that me and my youngest sister are “disrespectful” and deserving of our treatment. I decided to cut off all contact with my parents and it was the best decision I ever made. I hope you can do what you need to do to stay sane.

  3. Gopher
    Posted December 1, 2008 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

    My paternalis loves to gamble, but has no addiction. He’s used to spending about $1000 at the blackjack table which is when the last vacation I took with him (at 16). He was astonished I did not bring my own money to pay for foods, ect. However, he had bags and bags of new products for his new girlfriend. He’s a bit of a misogynist. I remember hearing non-stop when I was in the 7th grade about how a, “pregnant woman” got promoted ahead of him!
    OMG, we all know pregnant women arent people!!

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