Real Women Have [Different Sizes of] Curves

Hey there. Can I ask how much you weight? I’m 5’3". I weigh, oh, about 105 lbs, give or take a few. I’ve got tiny wrists, skinny legs, and a little waist. I’m the definition of petite.
 
I was always small as a kid, and I remember being made fun of for it, pretty much my whole youth. It’s not that I was actually underweight for my body type, and I’m not noticeably different, but I couldn’t physically stand up for myself like the other kids. So it made sense that when we all started developing, I still felt like the "runt of the litter."
 

I have small breasts. I’m 23 and I’m a 32A, on a good day. I can’t walk into Victoria’s Secret and expect to fit into/look good in their bras. I can’t wear certain clothes without it looking like I’m really flat. Most of my friends are blessed in the chest, and I can’t really compete with their cleavage on bar nights. I’ve just got my smile and winning personality to rely on
 
I’ve always been a big proponent of the size acceptance movement. Size discrimination is a huge problem in our society, and I think it’s an extremely important facet of feminism. The existence of Barbie, supermodels, anorexia/bulimia, and all the "fat women" jokes show that it is deeply rooted in our culture. But what I find difficult is when size acceptance allies throw back mocking terms about skinniness, or flat chestedness. Or movements among certain feminists I’ve known whose mottos are something to the effect of "I’d rather be a real woman than a skinny bitch." "Women are meant to have BREASTS." I feel alienated from the movement when the focus shifts in that direction.
 
Catch phrases and comments like "Real Women Have Curves," "At least I have breasts," "Well thank god I’m not a flat chested anorexic" aren’t harmless. They are still obsessing over women’s bodies, at the expense of those women. And they’re trying to play upon concepts of femininity. I’ve been told by a guy at a bar, "God, you know, if you got a boob job, you could be a 10!" I’ve been told: "men don’t like stick figures like that," or "You have a 10 year old boy’s body," but jealous girls, by insensitive curvier women, and by intelligent feminists alike.
 
Excuse me for a second. I have breasts. It’s not difficult to tell that. Just because they aren’t in your face doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I’m not anorexic. I’m not obsessed with my appearance. I’m not vain. I’m a healthy woman.  I definitely have curves, even if they aren’t as big as curves in other women. And I don’t really deserve those comments.
 
Sure, because of the media and societal/cultural climate, it’s more dangerous to call someone "too fat" than "too skinny." I’m aware of the privilege I have in being able to eat 6 meals a day and not really put on the pounds. But the focus on the bodies of women is still dangerous, and I sure wish we could stop doing it. I’m still bombarded with images in Victoria Secret ads, our society’s obsession with the Pamela Andersons, and widely available breast augmentation surgeries. These things are ALSO symptoms of obsession over what women’s bodies "should" look like, ideals that are nearly impossible to achieve, and that assist in preventing us from being real equals.
 
I wish instead of making comments like that, we could call out the patriarchy, the media, the ones in control of this dialogue, and I wish we could make bigger women believe they were beautiful, without insulting the naturally thin ones.
 
There is no ONE body type that has a monopoly over femininity.
 
I’m never going to be the girl with a whole lotta T&A, but I really, really love my body. I think you should love yours, as well.