Catcalling is creepy.

This past week it was really warm in San Francisco where I live. As a result people were wearing less clothes, which is unusual in a city as windy and foggy as SF. I love warm weather, but I have to say for some reason it brings out a new kind of creepy that you forget about when you are bundled up. I forgot that I can’t wear a dress, skirt, tube top or anything else the reveals flesh without having people honk their horns, whistle, yell at me or get followed. I have for most of my life learned to ignore this just to get about my day and tell myself it is not their fault, but the fault of this over pornified culture that teaches men that women’s bodies are public property, and they are just a product of that culture, right? But that doesn’t really make me feel much better about the fact that I have to wear a jacket even if I am sweating and sometimes I just wish I was invisible because I don’t want to be looked at.
That is my experience, perhaps other women have a different one, but with the exception of some people I have talked to, I think catcalling is an uncomfortable feeling for most women. CNN asks if catcalling is creepy or a compliment.
According to the study in this report 98% of women report being harassed on a daily basis.

When Holly Kearl was researching her master’s thesis on street harassment last winter, she was pleasantly surprised that lewd remarks were few and far between. Then spring rolled around. As part of her research, Kearl conducted an anonymous, informal e-mail survey of 225 women on the subject. She found that 98 percent of respondents experienced some form of street harassment at least a few times, and about 30 percent reported being harassed on a regular basis.
“For me, anyone who interrupts my personal space to objectify me or make me feel uncomfortable or threatened is harassing me,” she says.

But she found that some women did find it to be a compliment.

On the other hand, some women appreciate the attention in certain cases, like Jessica, a 31-year-old health-care educator in Los Angeles who declined to use her last name to protect her privacy.
“Yeah, it’s objectifying and all, but you know, if I walked down the street and didn’t have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I’d think, ‘Boy, I must really be getting old and dumpy,’ ” she said.
She’s gotten catcalls just walking her parents’ dog in baggy sweats. “I thought it was hysterical, like, ‘Boy, doesn’t take much to impress you, does it?’ “

I feel like only in a culture where women are taught that the way they look is their main worth, would anyone call heckling from a random dude you don’t know on the street, a compliment. But again, that is just my opinion, I am not trying to be a killjoy for women that enjoy it. I understand that it is complex and I often have to negotiate my feelings of being complimented (or feeling like yeah I do look nice today) by it with my feelings of being scared, freaked out or threatened. It is an awkward position to be in.
Ultimately, the report concludes that men don’t know how their behavior is perceived

According to existing studies and her own findings, Kearl says, some men are simply ignorant about how their behavior is perceived. Kearl, who completed her thesis, “Direct Action, Education, Consciousness-Raising, Activism and the Internet: Methods for Combating Street Harassment,” last year, thinks posting on Web sites like HollaBackNYC is preferable to resorting to anger and violence.
“A lot of men have no idea that women don’t like being talked to in this way,” she said. “It never crosses their mind, and yelling doesn’t educate them. If you yell, they often don’t understand why you are upset and so they take it personally.”
Often, Kearl says, an assertive, clear response can elicit a kinder reaction than one expects.
“A lot of the time, I find guys will just say, ‘Oh, OK, I didn’t realize it made you feel that way. Thanks.’ “.

In my experience, it actually works the opposite way. If you respond, you get even more because they are getting a reaction out of you. I think perhaps in some cases men don’t realize how their behavior is perceived, but generally I do think it is a power thing. It is men asserting power in your personal space in a threating manner that causes you to feel uncomfortable. I guess it is just bad manners.
Does this mean that I give the finger to every guy that comes up to me on the street or in a bar or wherever? No. There is a time and a place, but if you are just trying to get to work, being yelled at, whistled at or harassed is at best annoying and sometimes down right scary. I shouldn’t have to know that if I am dressed a certain way on a certain day, I have to deal with people yelling shit at me.
Other thoughts?