Advice columnist tells lesbian not to “ask for trouble” through PDAs

Never been quite the fan of Slate’s advice column Dear Prudence, but this latest bit of crap really got to me.
A 22-year-old lesbian wrote in asking about appropriate levels of public displays of affection, stemming from frequent arguments with her mother. One of her mother’s concerns was that her daughter and girlfriend were “inviting trouble, perhaps even physical trouble.”
Check out Prudie’s response:
Dear Polite,
Prudie’s opinion about the ongoing head-butting is that anybody’s PDA (hetero and gay) should be within the bounds of restraint. Handholding in public is fine, necking is not. (For everyone.) A spontaneous expression of love—a brief one—is fine if it’s not for effect and there would be no consequences … for example, if you’re in an environment known to be homophobic, you would be asking for trouble. If you know someone who might be discomfited by seeing two girls display physicality, skip it. As the erudite Roger Rosenblatt has written, “If you find yourself making accommodations, that does not make you a hotel.” In this case, it just makes you thoughtful.

Um, what the fuck?
Under Prudie’s oh-so-PC veneer of “necking isn’t cool for anyone,” is a really disturbing message: it’s your fault if you’re a victim of violence based on your sexual orientation. Yeah, yeah…she said if “you’re in an environment known to be homophobic.” But the last time I checked, pretty much the whole fucking country is known to be homophobic. Are there any completely safe spaces to be gay?
Not to mention, her advice sounds way too similar to the common (bullshit) argument that sexual assault victims were “asking for it” by wearing certain clothes or walking alone late at night. But I doubt Prudie would ever write that…much easier to blame the victim when they’re gay.
On a smaller scale of annoyance: the advice to forego physical affection in front of someone who “might be discomfited” by it is pure shit.
Rant over. Whew.

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