Adventures of XX in XYLand

I have been working in the legal/compliance dept. of a small investment advising firm in Manhattan for two and a half years.  I began as a temp., then was offered a full-time position as a legal assistant.  In February, I asked for and received a promotion.  I’ve risen quickly, despite my incongruent educational bg (MS in Art History) and and work experience (mainly civil litigation).  I also founded the staff newsletter and serve as its Editor in Chief.  No one at my firm would dare call me lazy or stupid, but I still receive plenty of marginalizing and xenophobia, mainly for my creativity and especially because of my gender.  Here’s a prime example…

Thursday was my first time sitting in an investment meeting. Naturally, I was stoked. Since I have zero to say about investment decisions (I just regulate), I thought to sit on the outskirts of the room rather than at the table. Another woman–the only other woman in the room–did the same, as she heads Client Services. In hindsight, we looked meek. From now on, I will always step up to the table like I belong. 

Noting that there are more seats at the table and that “we don’t
discriminate here,” he called us to the table. A few jokes were made
when we wound up flanking one of the more lecherous men (ew). I rolled
my eyes and said, “Oh wow,” I think. It’s my first important meeting,
and–as in just about any meeting I don’t lead–my gender and its
scarcity are noted immediately. Why can’t I sit in a room and be
another intelligent person? Oh yes, I have a vagina.

A word on
discrimination: where we sit is hardly as important as what you pay us
and what we do. NO woman in my company makes investment decisions or
holds a title above Sr. VP (former CCO and COO positions, both held by
women, were eliminated and absorbed by men last year). I suspect that I
make 15-20% less than my male predecessor, and you can bet HE never had
to fill in for the receptionist.  We serve. We assist. We hold middle
manage positions. Yes, sir, we do discriminate here.

As it
happens, I wound up speaking in the meeting. Near the end, the CEO
asked if there was any business, then turned to me (sitting on his
left, I might add) and asked, “Kate? Do you have any investment ideas?”
I guess that’s supposed to be a joke. I said, “I do, in fact, but I’ll
need you to sign a confidentiality agreement first.” Chuckles all
around. He replied, “I see we’ve trained you well.” That, and there’s
no effin’ way I’m telling you my ideas for free.

I proved myself
once more later in the day when fortune would have it that I ride the
elevator down with the CEO (I relish these kinds of opportunities). I
said that I was very glad I was able to be in the meeting today. He
asked, “It wasn’t all gibberish to you?” WTF??? After 2.5 years with
this company, you better hope I understand the business! I replied that
I followed along well, as I have been trading stocks more often, as of
late. I then launched into how I’ve made 13% on one pick just in the
last week. The CEO said he was long on that stock too, and added,
“Maybe we should put you on the equity team.” (Fat chance, but
whatever). I said I have ideas, and that a member of Equity and I have
been talking about the alt energy market for some time now. Check and
mate.  Underestimate me, by all means. I will just have all the more
opportunity to prove you wrong.

My question to the Feministing community: how do YOU deal with condescending comments and the insinuation that men are doing you a favor by *letting* you work with them?
 And before you suggest I go to HR, please note: there IS not HR Dept.
at my office, and the “head of HR” (strictly a title) constantly hits
on me.  My boss, meanwhile, thinks some stereotypes are fine if they’re
complimentary, and has told me before that I need to “pick my battles”
more carefully.  That I work in a man’s world is an understatement.