Posts Tagged Sex

Quick hit: picking women up without putting them down

In response to all the “pickup artist” and “seduction” talk that’s going on in the wake of that super rapey Kickstarter project, I’ve written a piece at Thought Catalog about how guys can talk to other human beings – which is what women are – without being a negging, sexist ass. My first piece of advice? Don’t listen to pickup artists. A few more pointers:

Treat them the way you’d want to be treated. Sorry to go all Jesus on you, but pickup artists have left me no choice. They’re all about manipulating women into trusting you, and capitalizing on their various weaknesses (physical, emotional, social) to get them into bed. Something tells me you’d hate it ...

In response to all the “pickup artist” and “seduction” talk that’s going on in the wake of that super rapey Kickstarter project, I’ve written a piece at Thought Catalog about how guys can talk to ...

Hating oral sex as the new misogyny? Toward a more feminist sex life

There is a much needed conversation to be had about straight men, masculinity, and sex. As a society we privilege the sexual desires of straight men and then limit the expression of those desires. We should be talking about the ways in which misogyny and homophobia have shaped our ideas about what constitutes appropriate sexual behavior. There should be more focus on enthusiastic consent. We ought to encourage more communication, body acceptance, and pleasure.

“I’m A Feminist, But I Don’t Eat Pussy” is not the way to have that conversation. It won’t be getting any link-love here, but Thought Catalog published this piece by Wayne Nutnot, a self-proclaimed straight white male feminist, who thinks vaginas are icky. In ...

There is a much needed conversation to be had about straight men, masculinity, and sex. As a society we privilege the sexual desires of straight men and then limit the expression of those desires. We should ...

Pedagogy of the Undressed: The art of role-playing

Welcome to another installment of Pedagogy of the Undressed! This week, we’re going to be talking about the fine art of role-playing. A reader asks:

“Hi. I imagine you can tell I read your sex ed article and had a question. 
Alright so it’s nothing to extreme but I have no clue how to role play my (sadomasochistic switch) girlfriend wants to try but I (sadist) can’t for the life of me get into it. Any suggestions?”

Role-playing can be an amazing way to explore all kinds of different dynamics, feelings, and fantasies with the people you play with. Getting into a role play can be a bit of a challenge, and you’re definitely not alone in ...

Welcome to another installment of Pedagogy of the Undressed! This week, we’re going to be talking about the fine art of role-playing. A reader asks:

“Hi. I imagine you can tell I read ...

Daily Feminist Cheat Sheet

Rihanna in a DIY masturbation t-shirt

Friday Feminist Fuck Yeah: It’s National Masturbation Month

…and it looks like Rihanna is celebrating too! (Because she’s just the greatest.)

I’ve previously shared my thoughts about the importance of masturbation–or, as I like call it, “the longest, most consistently satisfying sexual relationship of my life.” So I won’t bore you again with TMI details. Instead, I’ll just direct you to the awesome folks at the M Blog, who are masturbating every day this month and writing about it. Check out it!

…and it looks like Rihanna is celebrating too! (Because she’s just the greatest.)

I’ve previously shared my thoughts about the importance of masturbation–or, as I like call ...

Pedagogy of the Undressed: Come on in! Entering through the back door

Welcome to another edition of Pedagogy of the Undressed! I got some questions from folks, and I am super excited to talk about anal play this week.

“Can you write more about back-door activities in general? I want to learn more about the back door but I don’t know where to go for it. I was reminded of this because of what you said about fisting — it’s both desirable and intimidating. For me, any back-door activity is also like that, which I think also happens because I am not as informed about back doors as other body parts.”

Anal play can be super fun and feel AHMAZING with the right folks, the right timing, and the right sensations. There ...

Welcome to another edition of Pedagogy of the Undressed! I got some questions from folks, and I am super excited to talk about anal play this week.

“Can you write more about back-door activities in general? ...

femenfisting2

Pedagogy of the Undressed: A how-to guide for feminist fisting

Welcome to the very first post in Feministing’s new sex advice/education column! I’m Elliott, a poly queer kinky trans POC community organizer and radical sex educator. I’ve been educating folks on how to safely and consensually let their freak flags fly for 10 years. I’ve been a peer educator through Planned Parenthood’s  “Reach One Teach One” program, worked at the Sexual Offense Prevention Policy Offices of Antioch College, was a founding member of the Sex E Collective at the New School, and peddled sex toys at the feminist and queer-owned stores Smitten Kitten and Babeland.

I believe that having hot, safe(r), and consensual sex is a vital tool in reclaiming our bodies and giving patriarchy and misogyny a big ...

Welcome to the very first post in Feministing’s new sex advice/education column! I’m Elliott, a poly queer kinky trans POC community organizer and radical sex educator. I’ve been educating folks on how to safely ...

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