Posts Tagged Relationships

Death, taxes, heartbreak

I got my heart broken last week. Badly. Worse than it’s ever been broken in my admittedly short life. I’m not even really sure how I’m writing this, because I’ve spent the week in a fog of tears and panic and anguish and shock. I’ve barely been functional, I’ve barely been coherent. The morning after the break up, when I woke up and remembered what had happened the night before, I cried so hard I think I pulled a muscle in my chest.

I’ve survived the first few days. I’m still breathing, even though sometimes I feel like I’m gasping for air. I’ve left the house, and held conversations, and gotten a bit of work done, even though it takes an ...

I got my heart broken last week. Badly. Worse than it’s ever been broken in my admittedly short life. I’m not even really sure how I’m writing this, because I’ve spent the week in a fog of ...

A few thoughts on the nature of feminist lovin’

As much as I resist a commercialized expression of love, I can’t resist an opportunity to reflect on the nature of it. Valentine’s seems like a bit of a provocation, eliciting my feminist commitment to reclaim and reframe all those hearts, roses, and tired cliches in favor of a radical, conscious, and liberatory love. So here’s a little list of things that I’ve learned along the way…

1. What makes a relationship feminist has little to do with appearance or Politics and has everything to do with subtle, daily interactions. If you want to know if you’re experiencing a feminist relationship, pay attention to the most seemingly mundane of things and most unspoken of assumptions.

2. The most feminist I ever feel ...

As much as I resist a commercialized expression of love, I can’t resist an opportunity to reflect on the nature of it. Valentine’s seems like a bit of a provocation, eliciting my feminist commitment to reclaim and ...

Not Oprah’s Book Club: A Strange Stirring

A book about a book. It’s a funny concept, but one that actually works quite powerfully in Stephanie Coontz’s new A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s. Coontz, the much-celebrated author of Marriage: A History, looks at the effect that Betty Friedan’s notorious tome had on a generation of women.

Coontz isn’t an evangelist for Friedan, which makes her a very trustworthy guide back in time to look at the indispensible ways in which The Feminine Mystique really did change so many women’s lives and so much of our cultural expectations about marriage, work, and fulfillment, and the ways in which its effect has sometimes been overstated. Did Betty Friedan literally ...

A book about a book. It’s a funny concept, but one that actually works quite powerfully in Stephanie Coontz’s new A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s. ...

Cracking down on the dangers of online dating

The NYT reports that the growing online dating scene isn’t without risk, and the private and public sector are starting to take notice:

For a small fee, a nascent crop of companies wants to help you find out by running background checks on the potential flames you encounter on Match.com, eHarmony or any of the nation’s nearly 1,500 dating Web sites.

At the same time, at least two states, New York and New Jersey, have begun regulating Internet dating sites, and legal experts say they believe changes to the liability laws that protect such sites are on the horizon.

This is not just fear-mongering or profit-seeking, of course. Cases like Jeffrey Marsalis, a serial rapist who met his victims online, are ...

The NYT reports that the growing online dating scene isn’t without risk, and the private and public sector are starting to take notice:

For a small fee, a nascent crop of companies wants to help you find ...

“Girls Shouldn’t Have Ideas.”

Amplify Your Voice has released its second video of its web series exposing the ridiculousness of abstinence-only programs. It’s latest? “Girls Shouldn’t Have Ideas.”

I like this one in particular because it’s a reminder that these programs aren’t just teaching teens misinformation about sex, but also pushing fucked up power dynamics in relationships. (In this case, girls should be ashamed to think for themselves.)

Transcript after the jump.

Amplify Your Voice has released its second video of its web series exposing the ridiculousness of abstinence-only programs. It’s latest? “Girls Shouldn’t Have Ideas.”

I like this one in particular because it’s a reminder ...

“Girls Shouldn’t Have Ideas.”

Amplify Your Voice has released its second video of its web series exposing the ridiculousness of abstinence-only programs. It’s latest? “Girls Shouldn’t Have Ideas.”

I like this one in particular because it’s a reminder that these programs aren’t just teaching teens misinformation about sex, but also pushing fucked up power dynamics in relationships. (In this case, girls should be ashamed to think for themselves.)

Transcript after the jump.

Amplify Your Voice has released its second video of its web series exposing the ridiculousness of abstinence-only programs. It’s latest? “Girls Shouldn’t Have Ideas.”

I like this one in particular because it’s a reminder ...

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Not Oprah’s Book Club: Seeking Happily Ever After

According to the New York Times, over half of adult women are single in America.

So why are they so often made to feel like anomalies, freaks, and even failures? Why, in a day and age when women are over half the workforce, do we still allow princess mythology to cloud the minds of young girls–leading them to believe that a woman isn’t worth her tiara unless a man sweeps her off her feet before the ripe old age of 30? Why is social life still so built around being coupled, leaving a lot of happily single people to feel like they’re inadequate?

These are just a few of the questions that Michelle Cove asks in both her new book, Seeking ...

According to the New York Times, over half of adult women are single in America.

So why are they so often made to feel like anomalies, freaks, and even failures? Why, in a day and age when women ...

Emotional midwifery

So, I tend to date or be friends with guys who are a) not as adept at identifying their emotions and b) not as adept at talking about their emotions as I am. I have plenty of examples of this becoming an “issue” in my relationships, but my favorite illustrative example comes from a friend of mine. She was once dating a dude who started crying during an intense discussion. He actually said, and I kid you not, “Sometimes when I’m sad, my eyes water.” My friend politely informed him there was actually a name for this, and it was called, crying. Holy. Shit. I’m serious.

Okay, so my taste in men is a bit higher on the emotional awareness scale, ...

So, I tend to date or be friends with guys who are a) not as adept at identifying their emotions and b) not as adept at talking about their emotions as I am. I have plenty of ...

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