Posts Tagged Relationships

Feminism, once again, blamed for, well, everything

[Ed note: Lori and Courtney don't like to take on pop-psychology by themselves. It gives them the heeby jeebies, and runs a high risk of inducing anger and/or exasperation. So they decided to team up to debunk this faulty logic. The result is the below post. Enjoy.]

Courtney: While blatantly hocking his new book, Dr. Ogi Ogas (ah, yes, also famed game show contestant and Homeland Security consultant), offers a highly original and nuanced argument: feminism is ruining our love lives. We’ve never heard that before.

In any case, Ogi (I have to use his first name because it’s just too much fun), is arguing that women and men are both ...

[Ed note: Lori and Courtney don't like to take on pop-psychology by themselves. It gives them the heeby jeebies, and runs a high risk of inducing anger and/or exasperation. So they decided to team up ...

Getting married in New York just got easier for transgender sweeties

This just in from the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund:

The City of New York’s Marriage Bureau has taken steps to ensure that transgender people have equal access to marriage licenses. New transgender sensitivity trainings have been implemented and a written policy has been distributed to all staff in the wake of an incident in which a transgender couple was denied a marriage license.

Thanks to the Office of City Council Speaker Christine C. Quinn, Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton LLP, and most of all, the two brave souls–who have preferred to stay anonymous–for creating the momentum necessary to get this policy in place. Many people will be able to make their union official because of their bravery and ...

This just in from the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund:

The City of New York’s Marriage Bureau has taken steps to ensure that transgender people have equal access to marriage licenses. New transgender sensitivity trainings have ...

Single ladies remix

Another guest post from the truly talented J. Victoria Sanders.

Revolutionary uprisings and mancessions not withstanding, it’s fascinating that the true epidemic of the 21st Century has become the fact that there are single women in the world who just don’t give a damn about marriage. God help us if people all over the world get free and there’s no real news. That’s when the very center of hell for cheerfully Beyonce-humming happy women becomes most apparent: all these unmarried hoes are dragging the world down into lopsided destitution, poverty and Steve Harvey-Nightline necessitated uplift.

I forced myself to read a full fourth of the Moynihan Report because I used to think this was a black woman issue. But Tracy McMillan ...

Another guest post from the truly talented J. Victoria Sanders.

Revolutionary uprisings and mancessions not withstanding, it’s fascinating that the true epidemic of the 21st Century has become the fact that there are single women in the world ...

Death, taxes, heartbreak

I got my heart broken last week. Badly. Worse than it’s ever been broken in my admittedly short life. I’m not even really sure how I’m writing this, because I’ve spent the week in a fog of tears and panic and anguish and shock. I’ve barely been functional, I’ve barely been coherent. The morning after the break up, when I woke up and remembered what had happened the night before, I cried so hard I think I pulled a muscle in my chest.

I’ve survived the first few days. I’m still breathing, even though sometimes I feel like I’m gasping for air. I’ve left the house, and held conversations, and gotten a bit of work done, even though it takes an ...

I got my heart broken last week. Badly. Worse than it’s ever been broken in my admittedly short life. I’m not even really sure how I’m writing this, because I’ve spent the week in a fog of ...

A few thoughts on the nature of feminist lovin’

As much as I resist a commercialized expression of love, I can’t resist an opportunity to reflect on the nature of it. Valentine’s seems like a bit of a provocation, eliciting my feminist commitment to reclaim and reframe all those hearts, roses, and tired cliches in favor of a radical, conscious, and liberatory love. So here’s a little list of things that I’ve learned along the way…

1. What makes a relationship feminist has little to do with appearance or Politics and has everything to do with subtle, daily interactions. If you want to know if you’re experiencing a feminist relationship, pay attention to the most seemingly mundane of things and most unspoken of assumptions.

2. The most feminist I ever feel ...

As much as I resist a commercialized expression of love, I can’t resist an opportunity to reflect on the nature of it. Valentine’s seems like a bit of a provocation, eliciting my feminist commitment to reclaim and ...

Not Oprah’s Book Club: A Strange Stirring

A book about a book. It’s a funny concept, but one that actually works quite powerfully in Stephanie Coontz’s new A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s. Coontz, the much-celebrated author of Marriage: A History, looks at the effect that Betty Friedan’s notorious tome had on a generation of women.

Coontz isn’t an evangelist for Friedan, which makes her a very trustworthy guide back in time to look at the indispensible ways in which The Feminine Mystique really did change so many women’s lives and so much of our cultural expectations about marriage, work, and fulfillment, and the ways in which its effect has sometimes been overstated. Did Betty Friedan literally ...

A book about a book. It’s a funny concept, but one that actually works quite powerfully in Stephanie Coontz’s new A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s. ...

Cracking down on the dangers of online dating

The NYT reports that the growing online dating scene isn’t without risk, and the private and public sector are starting to take notice:

For a small fee, a nascent crop of companies wants to help you find out by running background checks on the potential flames you encounter on Match.com, eHarmony or any of the nation’s nearly 1,500 dating Web sites.

At the same time, at least two states, New York and New Jersey, have begun regulating Internet dating sites, and legal experts say they believe changes to the liability laws that protect such sites are on the horizon.

This is not just fear-mongering or profit-seeking, of course. Cases like Jeffrey Marsalis, a serial rapist who met his victims online, are ...

The NYT reports that the growing online dating scene isn’t without risk, and the private and public sector are starting to take notice:

For a small fee, a nascent crop of companies wants to help you find ...

“Girls Shouldn’t Have Ideas.”

Amplify Your Voice has released its second video of its web series exposing the ridiculousness of abstinence-only programs. It’s latest? “Girls Shouldn’t Have Ideas.”

I like this one in particular because it’s a reminder that these programs aren’t just teaching teens misinformation about sex, but also pushing fucked up power dynamics in relationships. (In this case, girls should be ashamed to think for themselves.)

Transcript after the jump.

Amplify Your Voice has released its second video of its web series exposing the ridiculousness of abstinence-only programs. It’s latest? “Girls Shouldn’t Have Ideas.”

I like this one in particular because it’s a reminder ...

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