Posts Tagged Relationships

Men’s egos so fragile, the wrong friendships will lead to erectile dysfunction

I know I have done something right in my life because I get to write headlines like the one above. I know there is something wrong with the world, because that headline is based on an actual study that suggests that when women are too buddy buddy with their beau’s bros, he can’t get it up. Her platonic transgressions ruin their sex life!

The NYTimes writes,

The subjects were men from 57 to 85, ages when men’s social lives contract, male identity is challenged and erectile dysfunction often sets in. When a partner was closer to a man’s friends than he was, his sex life suffered, say the authors and sociologists, Benjamin Cornwell of Cornell and Edward Laumann of the University ...

I know I have done something right in my life because I get to write headlines like the one above. I know there is something wrong with the world, because that headline is based on an actual ...

Is monogamy bad for marriage?

The cover story of last week’s New York Times Magazine was a feature written by Mark Oppenheimer about marriage and infidelity.

The focus of much of the article is Dan Savage, the well-known sex advice columnist and author of Savage Love. I’ve written about him before, and have continued to listen to his weekly podcast. He’s also known for his most recent endeavor: the It Get’s Better project.

Oppenheimer’s article deals more broadly with the question of marriage and monogamy, whether it’s working, and if perhaps there might be some alternatives to consider.

Dan Savage has gotten a lot of flack for things he has said about gender, trans folks, about body size and fat people. He has definitely screwed ...

The cover story of last week’s New York Times Magazine was a feature written by Mark Oppenheimer about marriage and infidelity.

The focus of much of the article is Dan Savage, the well-known sex advice columnist and ...

Feminism, once again, blamed for, well, everything

[Ed note: Lori and Courtney don't like to take on pop-psychology by themselves. It gives them the heeby jeebies, and runs a high risk of inducing anger and/or exasperation. So they decided to team up to debunk this faulty logic. The result is the below post. Enjoy.]

Courtney: While blatantly hocking his new book, Dr. Ogi Ogas (ah, yes, also famed game show contestant and Homeland Security consultant), offers a highly original and nuanced argument: feminism is ruining our love lives. We’ve never heard that before.

In any case, Ogi (I have to use his first name because it’s just too much fun), is arguing that women and men are both ...

[Ed note: Lori and Courtney don't like to take on pop-psychology by themselves. It gives them the heeby jeebies, and runs a high risk of inducing anger and/or exasperation. So they decided to team up ...

Getting married in New York just got easier for transgender sweeties

This just in from the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund:

The City of New York’s Marriage Bureau has taken steps to ensure that transgender people have equal access to marriage licenses. New transgender sensitivity trainings have been implemented and a written policy has been distributed to all staff in the wake of an incident in which a transgender couple was denied a marriage license.

Thanks to the Office of City Council Speaker Christine C. Quinn, Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton LLP, and most of all, the two brave souls–who have preferred to stay anonymous–for creating the momentum necessary to get this policy in place. Many people will be able to make their union official because of their bravery and ...

This just in from the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund:

The City of New York’s Marriage Bureau has taken steps to ensure that transgender people have equal access to marriage licenses. New transgender sensitivity trainings have ...

Single ladies remix

Another guest post from the truly talented J. Victoria Sanders.

Revolutionary uprisings and mancessions not withstanding, it’s fascinating that the true epidemic of the 21st Century has become the fact that there are single women in the world who just don’t give a damn about marriage. God help us if people all over the world get free and there’s no real news. That’s when the very center of hell for cheerfully Beyonce-humming happy women becomes most apparent: all these unmarried hoes are dragging the world down into lopsided destitution, poverty and Steve Harvey-Nightline necessitated uplift.

I forced myself to read a full fourth of the Moynihan Report because I used to think this was a black woman issue. But Tracy McMillan ...

Another guest post from the truly talented J. Victoria Sanders.

Revolutionary uprisings and mancessions not withstanding, it’s fascinating that the true epidemic of the 21st Century has become the fact that there are single women in the world ...

Death, taxes, heartbreak

I got my heart broken last week. Badly. Worse than it’s ever been broken in my admittedly short life. I’m not even really sure how I’m writing this, because I’ve spent the week in a fog of tears and panic and anguish and shock. I’ve barely been functional, I’ve barely been coherent. The morning after the break up, when I woke up and remembered what had happened the night before, I cried so hard I think I pulled a muscle in my chest.

I’ve survived the first few days. I’m still breathing, even though sometimes I feel like I’m gasping for air. I’ve left the house, and held conversations, and gotten a bit of work done, even though it takes an ...

I got my heart broken last week. Badly. Worse than it’s ever been broken in my admittedly short life. I’m not even really sure how I’m writing this, because I’ve spent the week in a fog of ...

A few thoughts on the nature of feminist lovin’

As much as I resist a commercialized expression of love, I can’t resist an opportunity to reflect on the nature of it. Valentine’s seems like a bit of a provocation, eliciting my feminist commitment to reclaim and reframe all those hearts, roses, and tired cliches in favor of a radical, conscious, and liberatory love. So here’s a little list of things that I’ve learned along the way…

1. What makes a relationship feminist has little to do with appearance or Politics and has everything to do with subtle, daily interactions. If you want to know if you’re experiencing a feminist relationship, pay attention to the most seemingly mundane of things and most unspoken of assumptions.

2. The most feminist I ever feel ...

As much as I resist a commercialized expression of love, I can’t resist an opportunity to reflect on the nature of it. Valentine’s seems like a bit of a provocation, eliciting my feminist commitment to reclaim and ...

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