Posts Tagged Relationships

(Day After) Wednesday Weigh-In: Dating While Feminist

Dating seems to be on everyone’s minds lately. Perhaps it’s part of the new year, new me, new boo energy still lingering in the air. Even here at Feministing we’ve been talking about “Crazy Blind Dates” and the challenges to Darwin’s dating ideas. And much of what I hear about dating in hip hop revolves around Christian Louboutins. All of this is wonderful, for someone who isn’t me.

To put it simply, dating while feminist, black, queer, polyamorous, broke, and loud means not dating, kind of. I find that people who compliment any one of those traits too well completely fail in regards to the others. Thinking about feminism specifically, I’ve found that it’s cute and sexy to ...

Dating seems to be on everyone’s minds lately. Perhaps it’s part of the new year, new me, new boo energy still lingering in the air. Even here at Feministing we’ve been talking about “Crazy Blind ...

Monday morning awesome: relationship advice from a Feministing reader

Danya Ensing is a 19-year-old student at the Ontario College of Art and Design in Toronto, and a Feministing reader. Last week, she posted this video over on the Community blog, and I thought it was so great that I wanted all our readers to watch it.

Danya didn’t realize she was a feminist until a few years ago, but once she did, she started seeing gender everywhere. “What got me really interested in feminism was the way I felt as a single, young woman when I moved to Toronto. I noticed in a big city the way that men looked at women (myself included) on the street, the comments that were sometimes made, and overall the way that I, ...

Danya Ensing is a 19-year-old student at the Ontario College of Art and Design in Toronto, and a Feministing reader. Last week, she posted this video over on the Community blog, and I thought it was ...

Monday morning awesome: relationship advice from a Feministing reader

Danya Ensing is a 19-year-old student at the Ontario College of Art and Design in Toronto, and a Feministing reader. Last week, she posted this video over on the Community blog, and I thought it was so great that I wanted all our readers to watch it.

Danya didn’t realize she was a feminist until a few years ago, but once she did, she started seeing gender everywhere. “What got me really interested in feminism was the way I felt as a single, young woman when I moved to Toronto. I noticed in a big city the way that men looked at women (myself included) on the street, the comments that were sometimes made, and overall the way that I, ...

Danya Ensing is a 19-year-old student at the Ontario College of Art and Design in Toronto, and a Feministing reader. Last week, she posted this video over on the Community blog, and I thought it was ...

Friday Feminist Fuck Yeah: queer family models

In this video, Shawnta Smith and Jas Cruz, who are are ex-wives or best friends depending on which one of them is doing the telling, talk about the home they’ve built together and what it means to them and their community. It’s wonderful. They have separate beds but their bookcase is merged. I mean, that’s just poetry.

The video is part of I’m From Driftwood, a project that brings together stories from LGBTQ folks around the world. This month, they’re spotlighting stories from the black LGBTQ community. Check ’em out.

Transcript after the jump.

In this video, Shawnta Smith and Jas Cruz, who are are ex-wives or best friends depending on which one of them is doing the telling, talk about the home they’ve built together and what it means ...

Occupy Valentine’s Day

You probably didn’t notice, because like me, you probably don’t care that much, but Valentine’s Day is around the corner. My position on Valentine’s Day has always been pretty mixed–it bothers my cool sensibilities because I think it is corny, but i’m also a little corny and I like celebrating and expressing love and the politics it represents leave a lot to be desired. Being a single lady on the holiday that commemorates heteronormativity in it’s purest form, has not always been easy. It’s hard to feel OK about a holiday that is so limiting in it’s purview of the appropriate and authentic ways to express love.

So this year in an effort to push the bounds of that exclusivity ...

You probably didn’t notice, because like me, you probably don’t care that much, but Valentine’s Day is around the corner. My position on Valentine’s Day has always been pretty mixed–it bothers my cool sensibilities because I ...

Breaking: Single women are not tragic, lonely, were-witches

OK, I haven’t really heard any one call single ladies were-witches, but if you believe we are tragic, scary, cat hoarders–then I have to wonder what else you think is true.

The life and times of single ladies is the subject of constant speculation. You would think there is an actual news story there seeing as how much mainstream news coverage it gets–but there isn’t. Most stories about single women people are full of stereotypes, sexism, unrealistic expectations and the assumption that everyone is looking to get marry and make baby. Even if they continually say they are not or they just don’t care.

The problem with a world that relies on the worst dating advice imaginable is that even ...

OK, I haven’t really heard any one call single ladies were-witches, but if you believe we are tragic, scary, cat hoarders–then I have to wonder what else you think is true.

The life and times of single ladies ...

Psychologists debunk 6 common gender-essentialist myths about sexuality

BREAKING: Science confirms what feminists have been saying forever. All those myths about innate gender differences when it comes to sex? Not actually true. In a new review of research, University of Michigan psychologist Terri Conley and colleagues debunked six common gender-essentialist myths.

1) Men want “attractiveness,” while women want “status”

Sure, maybe on paper they do, but in the real world where actual relationships take place, attraction doesn’t fall into such simple stereotypes. Shocking, I know.

2) Men want many more sexual partners than women do

Turns out if you look at medians instead of averages to avoid skewing the data with a few Don Juan wannabes, men and women both say they want one sexual partner. (Just one! That is ...

BREAKING: Science confirms what feminists have been saying forever. All those myths about innate gender differences when it comes to sex? Not actually true. In a new review of research, University of Michigan psychologist Terri Conley and ...

Men’s egos so fragile, the wrong friendships will lead to erectile dysfunction

I know I have done something right in my life because I get to write headlines like the one above. I know there is something wrong with the world, because that headline is based on an actual study that suggests that when women are too buddy buddy with their beau’s bros, he can’t get it up. Her platonic transgressions ruin their sex life!

The NYTimes writes,

The subjects were men from 57 to 85, ages when men’s social lives contract, male identity is challenged and erectile dysfunction often sets in. When a partner was closer to a man’s friends than he was, his sex life suffered, say the authors and sociologists, Benjamin Cornwell of Cornell and Edward Laumann of the University ...

I know I have done something right in my life because I get to write headlines like the one above. I know there is something wrong with the world, because that headline is based on an actual ...

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