Posts Tagged Men

Not Oprah’s Book Club: Manning Up

As I mentioned last week, I had the unfortunate synchronicity to be reading Kay Hymowitz’s new book, Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys, at the same time that I was sitting behind a gaggle of child-men, as she calls them, on an airplane. It was hard not to look up from a passage like this–“Crudity is at the heart of the child-man persona”–and feel like I was witnessing her words manifesting right before my eyes. As she also wrote, “That sound you hear? That’s women not laughing.”

So Hymowitz (of the conservative Manhattan Institute) no doubt has a sense of humor, a fierce grasp on historical research (she puts this whole thing ...

As I mentioned last week, I had the unfortunate synchronicity to be reading Kay Hymowitz’s new book, Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys, at the same time that ...

Tony Porter breaks out of the “man box”

I truly believe that one of the biggest ongoing and mostly neglected pieces of feminist work is convincing men that their liberation is tied up in ours. Tony Porter, co-founder of A Call to Men, was the first speaker to get a standing ovation for this incredibly vulnerable and moving talk about the toxicity and future of masculinity. Trigger warning: Tony testifies about a horrifying sexual assault that might be difficult for some people to hear about.

I truly believe that one of the biggest ongoing and mostly neglected pieces of feminist work is convincing men that their liberation is tied up in ours. Tony Porter, co-founder of A Call to Men, was ...

Paving the way for feminist men

Paving a Rocky Road, a conference for interrogating notions of masculinity, exploring men’s involvement in the feminist movement, and talking about programmatic and activist ways to initiate more men into the feminist fold, took place last month. After attending the first meeting of this kind last year, I wrote a column about my impressions, including this observation:

Many young men, it seems, are stuck in stage one of gender consciousness. They want to prove that they are one of the “good ones” and separate themselves from all the gendered behaviors and beliefs that they now see as oppressive. That, or they wallow in guilt. (This is not unlike the stage many white kids get stuck in upon fully realizing ...

Paving a Rocky Road, a conference for interrogating notions of masculinity, exploring men’s involvement in the feminist movement, and talking about programmatic and activist ways to initiate more men into the feminist fold, took place last ...

Emotional midwifery

So, I tend to date or be friends with guys who are a) not as adept at identifying their emotions and b) not as adept at talking about their emotions as I am. I have plenty of examples of this becoming an “issue” in my relationships, but my favorite illustrative example comes from a friend of mine. She was once dating a dude who started crying during an intense discussion. He actually said, and I kid you not, “Sometimes when I’m sad, my eyes water.” My friend politely informed him there was actually a name for this, and it was called, crying. Holy. Shit. I’m serious.

Okay, so my taste in men is a bit higher on the emotional awareness scale, ...

So, I tend to date or be friends with guys who are a) not as adept at identifying their emotions and b) not as adept at talking about their emotions as I am. I have plenty of ...

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Men’s Lib

There is so much bubbling up in the media about men these days, from the “Death of Macho” back in the day to the Atlantic’s “End of Men” cover story, and now to the Newsweek piece published recently, “Men’s Lib.” The authors are surprisingly smart about the transition facing men:

Suggesting that men should stick to some musty script of masculinity only perpetuates the problem. For starters, it encourages them to confront new challenges the same way they dealt with earlier upheavals: by blaming women, retreating into the woods, or burying their anxieties beneath machismo. And it does nothing to help them succeed in school, secure sustainable jobs, or be better fathers in an economy that’s rapidly outgrowing ...

There is so much bubbling up in the media about men these days, from the “Death of Macho” back in the day to the Atlantic’s “End of Men” cover story, and now to the

CNN’s Don Lemon does courageous reporting on male sexual abuse

It is so rare to see sexual assault handled with respect in the mainstream media, and even rarer still to see it handled at all when it comes to male victims. Check out this rare and powerful example of reporting at its best–CNN’s Don Lemon interviews three current member and one former member of Bishop Eddie Long’s very successful New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia. Bishop Long is defending himself against three lawsuits brought by young men who allege that he abused them. Lemon cuts through the hype surrounding these charges and, around minute 5, talks bravely about his own experience with sexual assault. It’s really quite something:

Thanks to Nancy for the heads up.

Related:
Pastor Eddie ...

It is so rare to see sexual assault handled with respect in the mainstream media, and even rarer still to see it handled at all when it comes to male victims. Check out this rare and powerful ...

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