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Derivative @splendiffermetacarpliscious ?

active 3 years, 2 months ago
"New goal…I need to find a woman who can tell me what it’s like to be a woman! As my sister said “you can’t compare having your wallet taken to being a woman. How can I compare?" · View
  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 2 months ago · View

    New goal…I need to find a woman who can tell me what it’s like to be a woman! As my sister said ”you can’t compare having your wallet taken to being a woman. How can I compare?

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 2 months ago · View

    - Either I’m a jerk or I’m trying to get into her pants.
    This makes me feel like I’m not human, like I can’t act as if I can be kind.
    I put this to a friend a while ago and she said ”But all women know what guys are thinking, guys are simple.” This is never an isolated statement. It would be like me saying ’I know what you’re thinking, I’m in your head…..because you’re a woman and I’m a man!’

    - I am presumed a threat to a woman if she doesn’t know me and it’s dark/we’re alone etc.
    I went on a date, a few years ago, as it was ending, 22:52, april 22, 2009. It was pouring with rain and I offered this woman a lift home, she lived on the way to mine and it was about 6 miles. She declined. I asked why. To which her response was, I don’t really know you. ”so you think I’m going to attack you or something?” ’Well, I dunno, I don’t know you yet.’ So I asked her to get her phone out, confused, she did, then I said ’Can you now show me you, deleting my number?’ She asked why and I said, ”Because you just accused me of being a rapist, I never want to have anything to do with you again.” With that I walked to my car and drove off, I never looked back. Bit annoyed because it was a nice date and she’d already asked me out on another.

    - I have no say over pregnancy. I can’t force her to kill it if she wants it but I can’t force her to keep it. I might as well be a sperm donna.
    Makes me feel like I don’t count to women. Like my feelings towards having a child is pointless. I had an ex pull the ’i’m pregnant’ thing on me – she wasn’t, she lied – I asked if I could help and she said ”No it’s my problem.” Then she told me how I could never understand and I could never be there for her like another woman could. When we broke up she tried this on again and used the phrase ”Men don’t have a choice about sex, women only use them when they want them, otherwise it’s rape.”

    - Because of this I, apparently, have no natural parenting instinct.
    I had a friend who had his house, his child and his car and half his pay taken from him because his wife was a ’better parent’ and needed it to support her child. How do you oppose this without being labled a misogynist.

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 2 months ago · View

    The far of any side is extremely misguided, but, there are some annoyingly well made points. A lot are flawed and nuts but some are well made. I don’t think our governments are capable of such an ilaborate conspiracy. Just look at how many screw-ups mere journalists uncover monthly!

    One of the well made points is how much of a push over our government(s) have mostly become when concerned with racism, immigrants or third world countries. I’m not saying these are bad things. They are very good. At university I was [and still am] friends with people who come from all over the world – all the Asias, a few from Africa & South America, others from East Europe. But too much is bad. None of these people were forcing their community into mine. I liked learning about what their life was like ’back home’. They had it, and that was good.

    My university built an on campus mosque, there was a small protest for it, across the road from one already there, which was set up by the council. I’m not saying it’s bad to have one. But two!? Especially as it was a converted lecture theatre – this directly took from me as I regularly used that theatre before it was converted. I’m not against a mosque, I am against one which imposses when it wasn’t needed. Regardless of it’s use it shouldn’t have been taken from the general student population.

    I’m for multiculturalism, just not having one culture dominate
    That is my experience of multiculturalism. Make of it what you will…

    This emasculine business. Here’s how it looks for me.
    - Either I’m a jerk or I’m trying to get into her pants.
    - I am presumed a threat to a woman if she doesn’t know me and it’s dark/we’re alone etc.
    - I have no say over pregnancy. I can’t force her to kill it if she wants it but I can’t force her to keep it. I might as well be a sperm donna.
    - Because of this I, apparently, have no natural parenting instinct.
    - Because of not being a natural parent I’m presumed a sex offender if I bring a lost child back to it’s parent [this happened to me, while I was with my girlfriend in a busy mall]

    I was specifcially told in school [about sport] all the things ABB mentions. Learning to have no ego & to not care about being a winner is good but destroying the idea that winning is good came with that.

  • Derivative commented on the blog post To our male allies: a challenge   3 years, 3 months ago · View

    There is no way of being tactful about this so…you sound like someone who has been sexually assaulted more than once. Views like yours make me feel physically sick. Your initial point carries the weight of publicly screaming rape in a shopping centre and calling the police there and then. Schrödinger’s Rapist has already commited [...]

  • Derivative commented on the blog post Victims, Credibility, and Justice   3 years, 3 months ago · View

    You know what that quote from this supposed court case lacks? Common sense!! There are places I don’t go because I know they are very rough. I read some of the places women get attacked and they went in the most stupid places. Like “she was walking through the unlite park at night.” Or an [...]

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 3 months ago · View

    Why do women lord their child baring over men – as if we’ve got nothing to do with the proccess?

  • Derivative wrote a new blog post: Introverts   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    Think, for a moment. How many girls/women/females/XX in your life prefer to sit quietly  in a room full of people? There are a few, but not many, right? Think about how many boys/men/males/XY in your life who do the same. A few more, right? Which seems more out of place? When I was growing up [...]

  • Derivative commented on the blog post A Personal Open Letter to a Dear Friend   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    I find this a very confusing set of points. Saying “You can’t understand.” So what was the point saying all this if I can’t understand it? By this logic, if our difference is so great, you cannot understand I, either. unless you’ve grown up in a deeply ignorant and religious culture, women are generally thought [...]

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    Contraception isn’t just a womans responsibility. My girlfriend wants to get a coil and I don’t like it. I don’t really like the idea of the pill. I don’t like the idea of vasecotmy either. I don’t want her to mess around with her body. I hate this pressure on her. She doesn’t think I have any say in the matter because it’s her body.
    I’ve tried to kill myself in the past. Almost achieved it. When I bring this up though, it seems she’s got everything to do with it. It’s my body and I’ll do what I want.

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    I debated with my sister that the slut walks have a little misconception to it. Women dress how they please in some cases – and it’s becoming just plane indescent.
    She then said that women and men are both being screwed but women come off worse, just a bit. WHERE?! I don’t see it. I want to be pointed at all this inequality – asides the law. I know the law is stupid, and the media, I hate them and they need corrected but where else is this inequality??
    Everything I hear and see about women’s rights are my rights too.

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    I’ve been told women can communicate better than me, work better than me, learn faster than me, mature faster than me, are more peaceful than me, will be better suited to parent hood than me, live for longer [common knowledge, I know].

    So this has left me being inferior in every way. What more can feminism take from me?
    I have no ’power’ or ’position’ in society anymore, I am equal with women yet I keep getting told it’s my fault women are oppressed and I somehow stand in the way of feminism for being a man.
    Every time I say can I have a little human lee-way to think ”I don’t get on with everyone” without being told I’m some how being a negative stereotype?
    I feel hopeless.

  • Who really blames someone for getting attacked? Where does this happen outside of the court & the media?
    Seriously, who actually personally knows ‘people’ – real people – people they see every day who has this victim blaming attitude and then tells a woman it’s her fault?

  • Derivative commented on the blog post Kirsten Gillibrand: The women’s movement is stalled   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    It’s not just the division, the goals are becoming more diffuse. As with anything that matters like this. The massive changes, like voting and a good step towards equal pay, have meant that the smaller inequalities which need more hard core attention are all that are really left. I.E I think the slutwalks, about raising [...]

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    So let’s turn up, give the world a message and have some fun! Meet at Trafalgar Square on Saturday 11th June at 1pm. Everyone is welcome – all genders, races, ages, religions and sexualities. Bring friends and family, banners, food and instruments, and come along feeling beautiful: let’s show the world that we are PROUD of who we are!

    Yes!! change the law!!

    Be careful we don’t turn into a society where men can’t look at women in the wrong way!

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    Let’s end a culture of fear and victimisation. No means No – but rather than saying no, let’s say YES. Yes to wearing what you want, going where you want with who you want and being able to express your personal sexuality in whichever way you please. Yes to having a great time without being scared that every man you meet is going to assault you. Yes to love, fun and respect.

    Wear what you want but I don’t want to see your clit or your bum hole!

    Go where you want?! Like the dark alley guys have been stabbed in? Are you this ignorantly head strong it’s not your fault? That some places are just always places to avoid and saying ”It’s a man’s fault, he attacked her.” doesn’t change the fact that you get attacked and some places are dangerous – I suppose every innocent guy that gets his lights punched out ’was asking for it’ HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY THAT IT’S ALL THIS NAIVELY NOT YOUR FAULT?!!

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    NO. Let’s raise our voices and tell the world that rape is never, ever OK. Not if she was wearing a miniskirt. Not if she was naked. Not if she was your wife, girlfriend or friend. Not if she was a prostitute. Not if she was drunk. Not if you thought she wanted to.

    Yeah. This is right. Some nights I’m not in the mood, and some nights neither is she. We can all say no. HOW ARE YOU REACHING THE CONCLUSION THAT IT’S THEIR FAULT?!

    My sister went to a party. I told her not to get drunk, and to be careful! She got so drunk she passed out and woke up with a guy touching her. It’s not her fault she was attacked but it was impossibly only her fault she was there like that. Like it’s impossibly the fault of anyone who gets molested when they pass out drunk! – not sex, being drawn on, made a mockery of.

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    Sadly, this is not a single, isolated incident. All over the world, women are constantly made to feel like victims, told they should not look a certain way, should not go out at night, should not go into certain areas, should not get drunk, should not wear high heels or make up, should not be alone with someone they don’t know. Not only does this divert attention away from the real cause of the crime – the perpetrator – but it creates a culture where rape is OK, where it’s allowed to happen… after all, she must have been asking for it, right?

    This is all done by other women. You attack yourselves. Who the fuck thinks like this anymore? Really?! A culture of rape? So what? All rapists are marched through the streets and congratulated? So really, no one cares about anyone accused of rape. Like it’s not a reputation that’s hard to lose??! how can you bare this mentality?

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 4 months ago · View

    On 24th January 2011, a Toronto policeman told a group of law students that in order to avoid being raped ‘women should avoid dressing like sluts’.

    This sparked outrage around the globe, with women from Chicago to Amsterdam standing up and saying that we have had ENOUGH of being victimised and labelled, with women speaking out for freedom, equality and fun.

    Not only was this a ridiculous and inaccurate statement (women wearing trousers get raped. So do women wearing tracksuits, t-shirts, jeans, jumpers, skiing jackets and burqas), it was incredibly damaging to women around the world, painting them as perpetrators – rather than victims – of a disgusting, violent crime. In addition, it completely erased the experiences of the millions of brave, strong women who have survived rape and sexual assault – painting them as human beings unworthy of respect.

    Yeah, I agree well spoken. =)

  • Derivative posted an update:   3 years, 5 months ago · View

    Hey

    I am male and agree with most of this article. I want more political change where women are more empowered and equal. I find it odd how things are, even if there are differences between men and women. I know they’re pretty well basic instincts and flesh deep, the rest is nurture.

    I have some burning issues no feminist has given me a straight answer on. I know everyone is individual and unique so it’s all a little subjective. I’ve summed this up at the start so you can skim the bulk.

    1) With modern machines, the physical need for men is small, would men be missed if eggs could fertilize eggs?

    2) Is there a point where I’m going against instinct when I see an attractive women and I’m not supposed to think she’s pretty or ’want her’?

    3) Why is there such an assumption guys get off lightly when they’re accused of being sex offenders?

    4) Assuming ’we’ know what the other sex is thinking is only a negative thought. Needs addressing and amending. We suffer each other together.

    5) Are women always going to lord babies over men as something they ’suffer’ that men will never know? If yes. Am I right in thinking that feminism will fail to create equality for couples who raise children together?

    — I know this may seem like a rant but I’m struggling to find my place in this world.

    Firstly: Once both stereotypes are gone we would have an equal society, but, with the increase in the need for talkative jobs, what would the role of men be in this future? I’m sure you’re well read and know that girls are out competing boys in school because they have a smoother development with their language. Boys learn slower and have ages where they learn faster than girls. Girls get ahead early so excel because they’re better set. Would men become less employable and inferior? – If two eggs could be used for fertilization would society really miss men? All the physical differences would mean nothing if you didn’t need sperm and men were useless at everything, right?

    Secondly: Where am I – or ’liberal feminist men’ for a generic term – meant to stand on female sexuality and consent. Consent is a very clear cut yes/no with horrific abuse by a minority of men. I have a touchy relationship with my dad, at best, because of history so I don’t like talking about this too much, I feel as if it’s my fault when I can’t stop it from happening, even if it’s a stranger and I’m reading it about 5 days later.

    But I digress.

    On sexuality – hence victim blaming. I put these two together because of the whole idea of ’provocation’. I like that women are more free and can dress how they want. My issue is where the line of desency is on ’how they want’

    example –

    I was walking back from the cinema with my girlfriends hand in mine. Our route takes us past a night club and for the most part I saw girls in tight, short skirts, nothing on display. One girl was walking towards the que with her friends. === This is the part sticks in my mind – she had a black dress, ok so far, and very thin pink underwear you could make out the top of [the underwear] below where the dress stopped. Her underwear was so thin my girlfriend remarked you could see her outline – You could make out her clitoral hood from 4 meters away – === I remember thinking then ”That is asking for trouble.” This has made this issue, along with the slut walks, stand in my mind like the ocean against the beach. Can’t shake it, I need resolution.

    I know victim blaming is a problem and it’s wrong and a huge correction does need to be made. Along with the fact that it’s not normally the clothes it’s the presence of the rapist. Girls not having to watch what they wear raises another issue. How naked can you get before it’s no long a freedom but a public desency thing. It’s not my place to correct everyone I see. What I struggle with is the instinct part. I am meant to want sex, along with food and air and comfort etc. So when I see a girl with her external genitals on display, what am I meant to think of that? Or, say interpret. I doubt it was so she could pee in the corner easily. I don’t want to think with my knob, how can I interpret that as ”she does NOT want sex.”?

    Thirdly: Say the slut walks get their way. The law changes and all men who are accused get convicited. This would be negative wouldn’t it? I came out of a 7 month relationship and we seperated as friends ”Don’t worry about me, I won’t say anything, it’s ok.” 3 weeks later I’d lost 8 friends because she had claimed I’d sexually assaulted her and forced her to humiliated herself for me pleasure. My friends are like me. We believe in this movement, where women are equal to men. This was the result. She is more feable than me physically so I was judged guilty by my peers. I know this is subjective but could it be an example of the precursory abuse of a freedom?

    Forth: Can you honestly say you know exactly what it’s like to be a man? To actually be a man. Not postulate, or guess, or imagine. To actually be a man? Or to put that another way, Can I know what it’s like to be a woman? And then say, with convicition, I am right in my new found self gained knowledge? Is this a view where I am correct in saying, you are wrong and that is a very unfair view held by most women? I know I’ve experience the result of ’them’ thinking like this.

    This doesn’t just extend to I know this extends to a facebook ’like’ I saw. It went ”Dear boys, When you have to suffer periods, pregnancy, and child birth, don’t consider yourselfs strong at all. Sincerely, The Girls.” It made me very angry and no girls I spoke to could understand my point. Which frustrated me even more. I know that it’s not like it’s your fault for being a woman and I know everyone one is unique, I get these parameters. The part I don’t get is how the thought it’s an ordeal men don’t suffer arises. It’s depressing, genuinally so stupid it’s forcing into clincal depression stupid. I’ve seen everyone woman I know justify outrageous accusations against their male friends every cycle. My girlfriend included. Some later admit it’s because of hormones and apologies, others try and justify it. I mean outrageous like, I took my girlfriend to the opera and she took me in return. we got there after an awkward journey – drunk on the train and she some how found my unchanged state annoying. I was literally say, reading, quietly. I breath like I’m not breathing, I make no sound, so even that wasn’t the cause. She turned to me and told me to ’Stop that! It’s annoying her! I know I’m annoying her.’ My sister, for a fact, has similar behaviour…as do all women.

    After making such public displays assuming it’s personnel is very idosyncratic. This is not to say it’s not an ordeal, or something to be suffered, it can be. ”I know.” Saying that it’s something men don’t go through as well is odd, seeing as we’re the ones who get vented on. I know the venting causes friction amongst women too. My girlfriend described the lack of it as a kind of ’sisterhood’ where you’re in it together.

    Fifth: Women will always be the ones to bare the children. It’s what happens. As long as it’s one held in some special place, it will always keep a barrier between the equality. I’ve heard some feminists say it’s unfair how women are the burden carriers and men have it easy. This seems to be reverse sexism. I know I’ve been worried for women who’ve had babies, who I’ve known. Considering how dangerous it is. I can’t understand where these women are coming from. They talk as if their partners don’t suffer and emotional anguish or have any part in the process. Like helping them to the hospital or during the later stages, or the 20 years following. – I know I’m leaving single mothers out of this because that becomes complex.

    — Again, I know this may seem like a rant but I’m struggling to find my place in this world. Thanks for reading.

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