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James @sex-toy-james ?

active 7 months, 1 week ago
  • James commented on the blog post Chart of the Day: There’s even a gender wage gap in babysitting   7 months, 1 week ago · View

    They left one thing out there. What’s the average experience and training level for male babysitters? Do they have doctorate degrees? Maybe they need to hit a certain level of training and experience to be considered, and that boosts them up the price ladder. You might have to be really dedicated to fight your way [...]

  • James commented on the blog post The Case Against “Allies”   1 year ago · View

    After reading all of the associated articles I’m also glad that Tim Wise doesn’t speak for middle class white men, because I wouldn’t want him speaking for me. I totally understand the frustration. I also think that the expectations on allies are unpalatable enough to scare away anyone who’s genuinely looking to help and doesn’t [...]

  • James commented on the blog post The Case Against “Allies”   1 year ago · View

    The ideal ally sounds likely to disappoint. People expect something for what they do. Allies generally are allied because their self interests align. I kind of feel that if someone claims to be purely in it for the justice of it, they’re probably just hiding their motivations.

  • James commented on the blog post In defense of abrasiveness   1 year ago · View

    I agree with Saurabh about abrasiveness being more gratifying than useful in changing minds. I think that if you’re going to be loud and angry, you need to have a message that most of your audience is going to immediately agree with and care about. It works if you’re calling stuff out. If you’re outside [...]

  • James commented on the blog post Feminist radicalism isn’t a “brand problem”   1 year, 5 months ago · View

    Here’s the thing, I don’t know what a “truly feminist world” would look like. I kind of figure that it would depend on who you ask. If it’s one where glass ceilings have been removed, women occupy 40%-60% of top management, 40% to 60% of STEM majors are women, and government provides high quality childcare; [...]

  • James commented on the blog post What can we do about feminism’s brand problem?   1 year, 6 months ago · View

    Thanks for getting what I wrote; even though you probably deal with way more than I do and could use the understanding more.

  • James commented on the blog post What can we do about feminism’s brand problem?   1 year, 6 months ago · View

    First, Samhita, you do this all day every day, and you’ve accidentally perpetuated able-ist oppression through your language. Beyond the language and the concepts that you toss around, your brand of feminism is really hard to do. I think that you hook people at “Hey, this woman is getting paid less for doing the same [...]

  • James commented on the blog post I tried to do something about rape. (Built an App) Now I need help.   1 year, 8 months ago · View

    1. I agree that the police are better for enforcing the law. I wanted people to be able to reach their friends so that they could call them before there’s an actual crime. Your friends will accept that you might be creeped out by a situation, and help extract you from it. The police may [...]

  • James commented on the blog post I tried to do something about rape. (Built an App) Now I need help.   1 year, 8 months ago · View

    Actually I built it for the acquaintance rape situation. Some nameless and faceless stranger isn’t tied into the victim’s social world, and can consequently escape. Someone the victim knows has enough social overlap for a recording of the incident to be devastating. I figured that so many rapists rely on the high chance that the [...]

  • James wrote a new blog post: I tried to do something about rape. (Built an App) Now I need help.   1 year, 8 months ago · View

    Trigger Warning: I don’t mean for this to be triggering, but I can see how it might be.

    So a few year’s back I read that “400,000 campus rapes a year” statistic somewhere in the feminist internet. Finding it to represent more suffering than I could comprehend, I gave some thought to what I could do. [...]
  • James commented on the blog post The Wednesday Weigh-In: Negotiating that pay raise edition   1 year, 8 months ago · View

    Just a thought… I’ve always wondered if there’s a “perceived willingness to find a new job” factor that affects salary. Are men more likely to find a new job if they don’t feel like their current job values them enough, or are they more likely to be perceived as willing to find a new job [...]

  • James commented on the blog post On nose piercings   2 years, 6 months ago · View

    I feel your pain. The problem is that everything that you do with your appearance broadcasts something about you, and you may have just painted yourself into a particular group. My Tevas and Chacos make me look kind of crunchy yuppy hippy, but I can’t resist all terrain sandals that I can hike 10 miles [...]

  • James commented on the blog post Wednesday Weigh In: ‘White Male Nerd Culture’ Edition   2 years, 7 months ago · View

    I’m not arguing that those reasons I gave are somehow noble, but they are the reasons that I would hesitate, or that it would simply not occur to me to attend such an event.

  • James commented on the blog post Wednesday Weigh In: ‘White Male Nerd Culture’ Edition   2 years, 7 months ago · View

    I’m going to wade into this with all the grace of a water buffalo, and I expect that things will not go well. For the sake of encouraging positive discourse, I’ll take some condemnation. Reasons I wouldn’t attend a racially oriented panel: 1. Feeling like a tourist: I feel avoid churchy style environments because there [...]

  • James commented on the blog post Georgia’s cruel weight loss ads bully children   2 years, 9 months ago · View

    I agree with you on food addiction. I’d venture though that a lot of food is made to be addictive as possible. So much food is packed with refined starches, sugars, fats, and msg to give people the kind of little high that they’ll want again. I agree with you entirely. Also, I have to [...]

  • James commented on the blog post Male Feminism   2 years, 9 months ago · View

    That got weird. Your belief in female superiority sounds like something that would be more at home on Fetlife. Seriously, search groups for “female superiority” on there. It sounds like you’re questioning feminism because you don’t like how women behave sometimes? I’d comment on that being contradictory to feminism, but I’m not clear on whether [...]

  • sex-toy-james commented on the blog post Does risk aversion and confidence hold women back?   3 years, 1 month ago · View

    I had a close male friend who hated his job and was eager to leave struggle greatly with the extra burden his leaving would put on his coworkers. He also wanted to make sure that he left on good terms even though he hadn’t received a raise in years while dealing with progressively more responsibility [...]

  • sex-toy-james commented on the blog post Does risk aversion and confidence hold women back?   3 years, 1 month ago · View

    You can never know everything about someone’s experience. Everyone has different valuations on different aspects of life.
    I think that the job market differs greatly depending on your skill set. Some fields have vast gluts of applicants and some have shortages. More just have gluts right now though.

  • sex-toy-james commented on the blog post Does risk aversion and confidence hold women back?   3 years, 1 month ago · View

    The current economy does cut down on choices and opportunities, and it is hard to ask this question when you’re willing to settle for anything. I would think that cultural attitudes would still be evident. There are also a lot of very employable people in this economy, and I’ve seen some people trading up to [...]

  • sex-toy-james wrote a new blog post: Does risk aversion and confidence hold women back?   3 years, 1 month ago · View

    I recently witnessed a female friend on Facebook trying to figure out whether to accept a job from a small but growing start-up company or a more certain and stable job with an established organization. My first thought was that “Hey, it’s a gamble, but you’ve got a lot more to gain if the start-up [...]

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