Mummies: They’re Just Like Us

The first royal mummy since Tutankhamen has been discovered in Egypt. Her name was Hatshepsut, and she just can’t catch a break for her appearance, even though she’s been dead thousands of years.

Turns out, Hatshepsut was no Cleopatra. Instead, she was a 50-year-old fat lady; apparently she used her power over the Upper and Lower Nile to eat well and abundantly. Archaeologists also claim that she probably had diabetes, just like many obese women today.

*Gasp!* Can you believe they let a fat woman over age 50 be a ruler? Can you believe she liked to feast the same way male royalty did? OMG.

Hatshepsut also suffered from what all women over 40 need — a stylist. She was balding in front but let the hair on the back of her head to grow really long, like an aging female Dead Head with alopecia.

In other words… Today’s women over age 40? So gross they have the same beauty issues as a 3,500-year-old mummy.

But like today, one should never be fooled by a woman’s Look. Hatshepsut was a powerful, successful woman.

Riiight… Because in modern society, we’d never assume a less-than-perfect-looking woman was powerful or successful. I mean, how successful could she really be if she can’t afford plastic surgery, a personal trainer, and her own stylist?
Ok, ok, I know this article is written in trying-to-be-playful style, but I just found it incredibly annoying.
via Just Dreadful.