Will Livingston

I'm a first year Master of Theological Studies candidate at Vanderbilt University Divinity School in Nashville, Tennessee. My research interests are in gender and sexuality; political and social theory; normative ethics; and visual studies. I am especially interested in queer/feminist alliances and the ways in which language constructs reality. I identify as a radical queer so I'm used to getting blank stares at parties. I love cat videos, dark chocolate, and the holy trinity of Judith Butler, Michel Foucault, and Susan Sontag.

Posts Written by Will
By Will Livingston • 10 years ago

Gay men have a “bitch” problem

I’m a huge proponent of the right to self-identification. If feminists wish to identify as “bitches” in order to disrupt the perception that it is wrong to be smart, powerful, and shrewd, so be it.

My problem is with gay guys. We use the word “bitch” way too often and way too freely. For example, “Hurry up, bitch! We’re going to be late.” We mean it as a term of endearment on par with “honey,” “sweetie,” or “sugar.” Other men can be bitches by virtue of their attitudes, actions, or words. We mean it as a gender-neutral designation, free of any misogynistic intent.

The problem is that a word like “bitch” can never be free of its misogynistic intent when used as a sentence modifier.

I’ve had this debate with many of my gay friends when I call out their use of the word. Their responses tend to include phrases like “I didn’t mean it to be sexist, you’re reading too much into it…” or “I’m actually reclaiming the word for women.”

Regardless of conscious intent, calling someone a bitch is basically saying the worst thing to be is a strong female. “Bitch” developed as a putdown, a way for men to write off serious challengers with a vagina. If a woman in corporate America has the same gruff attitude as her male colleagues, she’s a bitch. If a woman refuses a man sex, she’s a bitch. If a woman chooses education over starting a family, she’s ...