Rani

I published this on Medium awhile ago and am submitting it here. It’s about just one of my experiences of sexism in academia.

In grad school I learned that when I drink out of a water bottle I look like I am sucking dick. I learned this from a male professor. I was taking a film history course with a rather famous guy. Well, famous for academia. I am not sure that is really, famous, you know? It was my first year. Your first year of grad school is scary. It’s like, “oh my god these people are smarter than me and oh my god the professors can be assholes (not all, of course) and oh my god I don’t belong here and oh my god I’m not really that smart.” It’s petrifying and ego shaking, unless you’re a sociopath and your ego can’t be shaken. Actually, if you are a white dude in the German Department your ego seems to remain intact. Studying fascism is somehow ego fortifying. This guy was German. He had chin length stringy blond hair that was long enough to look European and short enough to not look American. He always wore button down shirts, in pastels and a lot of pinks. He would keep the first few buttons open. This exposed his chest. His chest was a very red color—lobster, Rosacea red.

There were around twelve students in the class, a mix of people from different departments, including ...