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By naomi1978 • 14 years ago

Why is Betty Dodson so hard on abuse survivors?

TRIGGER WARNING 

So I have a history of abuse I’m trying to deal with.  There were several abusers, and the first was my father.  I’ve posted on my experiences before.

I never had a relationship, never had consensual sex and never had an orgasm.  I’m in my early 30s.  I’m trying to figure these things out and one of the things

And what did I find?  Basically, a complete lack of empathy and lots hostility towards survivors.  In her site, Dodson:

- Promotes the idea that non-sexually repressed women don’t do anything as stupid as freeze when sexually assaulted but rather would sort of go with the flow

- Complains about an ‘industry’ that grew around sexual abuse and “chronically kept victims wallowing in their past”.

- Shows an attitude of “get over it already” – “Some rape or incest survivors are unable or unwilling to move on, to sexually heal themselves with therapy and masturbation.” “

Another gem is a debate where Dodson’s web partner, Ross, and another writer on her site criticize Polanski’s arrest with arguments along the lines of “13 year olds are women”:

I don’t think Dodson hates survivors or anything, but it seems as if, like a lot of other sex positive writers I’ve read, she refuses to actually engage with what abuse means.  And honestly, it makes me tune her and anyone who endorses her out.  Why should I listen to someone who would obviously never listen to ...
By naomi1978 • 14 years ago

Recovered Memories – Really Not That Controversial Anymore

I posted the letter to my non-survivor friends which received a lot of attention. Thanks for all your support. (And thank you to all of my friends, if you’re reading this!)
But it also received some criticism, especially this post which cast doubt on the validity of my ‘recovered’ memories.
Look, everything should be open to debate. And there have been, especially in the 1990s, some horrific cases of false accusations. But:
• The science – it’s definitely true that it is pretty easy to convince people that something happened that didn’t, in fact, take place. That is particularly true in children. But for false memories to happen, someone has ...

I posted the letter to my non-survivor friends which received a lot of attention. Thanks for all your support. (And thank you to all of my friends, if you’re reading this!)
But it also received ...
By naomi1978 • 14 years ago

A letter to my non-survivor friends: things I want to tell you but don’t know how

I’m one of those women who only in my 30s started recovering memories of my father sexually abusing me.  This discovery caused both a terrible upheaval in my life and a new found hope.

I have a terrible relationship with my family and a disaster of a romantic life.  But I have managed to make some friends: the kind I can call at 3 A.M., who would find the time to talk even after their twins were born, who will lend me money if I need to.  We challenge each other and made each other laugh.

My friends are all wonderful people with a strong sense of justice.  They could easily be any of the posters here.  None of them, ...

I’m one of those women who only in my 30s started recovering memories of my father sexually abusing me.  This discovery caused both a terrible upheaval in my life and a new found hope.

I have a ...