Posts Written by Lauren

An Imagined Dialogue: My (Pretend) Conversation With Emily Yoffe

Emily: http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/10/sexual_assault_and_drinking_teach_women_the_connection.html

 Me: Blame is how we separate ourselves from victims.  We want to believe that every move we make influences what happens to us–that we have more control than anyone else over our own lives. We hear about terrible things happening to other people and we look for reasons why  it simply couldn’t have been us. Almost immediately we start searching for our own immunity. “I’m safe because I would never get that drunk” or “well, it’s her own fault because she should have never been in that neighborhood at that time.” Sure we empathize, but it’s often stained with a bit of a “that’s what you get” sentiment. We lie to ourselves because it’s too scary to believe it could happen to us and that really, we have no control.  By blaming the victim of a violent crime, rape for example, we allow ourselves to temporarily suspend reality and believe nothing bad will happen as long as we take the necessary precautions–that there’s a logical explanation why it happened to that person and not someone else.  If I avoid what that person was doing, I can avoid this terrible thing happening to me. It’s comforting, it’s reassuring.  And it’s incredibly toxic.

I think that’s you’re attempting  to do with this misguided and all together offensive piece “College Women: Stop Getting Drunk” in Slate this week.  I think you failed to  recognize what the entire internet  thousands of outraged people (including the ingenious Read More

An open letter to the bro who tried to dance with me

Last week, you, without saying a single word to me, put one hand on my waist and one hand on my girlfriend’s (mindblower right?) from behind and pulled us in to see which of us responded (aka moved more into your crotch and danced with you).  I know you thought it was okay because when I turned around you were smiling and waiting for me to return the gesture, for which I substituted a shove and an expletive. You looked genuinely surprised and called me a bitch. Fair.

You cannot touch a woman in a sexual advance without speaking to her first. Ever. Offering to buy someone a drink or starting a conversation or even dropping a douchey pickup ...

Last week, you, without saying a single word to me, put one hand on my waist and one hand on my girlfriend’s (mindblower right?) from behind and pulled us in to see which of us responded ...

This W is more important than that W

Full disclosure: I pretty much care less about sports than I care about well, anything.

However, when the Adonis-like worship of athletes trumps the rights of rape victims, I think we all need to be concerned. Starting in high school, elite athletes have their egos inflated and are basically told over and over that the rules don’t apply to them. Sometimes–really most often–this ends with a college professor giving an extension or completely disregarding attendance rules, etc. Nothing actually harmful, albeit a weird form of nepotism, but mostly innocent.

But sometimes, in cases like Penn State, Steubenville and now possibly Vanderbilt, we’re faced with a group of people (not one person) who  choose to look the other way rather ...

Full disclosure: I pretty much care less about sports than I care about well, anything.

However, when the Adonis-like worship of athletes trumps the rights of rape victims, I think we all need to be concerned. Starting in ...

Why I’m Not (Really) Commenting on #SolidarityisForWhiteWomen

Last night, I watched the #SolidarityisforWhiteWomen hash tag bloom. I followed the Tweets as closely as I followed #StandWithWendy.  I was fervent about my endorsement and support for “Abortion Barbie,” tweeting and retweeting and celebrating with fellow prochoice women, all whilst streaming her now infamous filibuster and getting as excited as sports fans do during the Super Bowl. I’m pretty easily excitable and am certainly not one to hold back, especially on feminist matters and especially on Twitter. But last night, I retweeted only one tweet, one that was retweeted nearly one thousand times authored by a user I don’t know. Her incredibly poignant argument, which seems too obvious to need to be said out loud can be seen (by ...

Last night, I watched the #SolidarityisforWhiteWomen hash tag bloom. I followed the Tweets as closely as I followed #StandWithWendy.  I was fervent about my endorsement and support for “Abortion Barbie,” tweeting and retweeting and celebrating with fellow ...