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How to Date a Feminist in Five Easy Steps

How to Date to a Feminist in Just Five Easy Steps

By: Kim Tran

Let me preface this piece by saying the following article is based purely on anecdotes belonging to me or my friends. This article documents what often happens after those hallelujah moments when your partner who claims to share your feminist beliefs tells you that you’re too opinionated, smart, or difficult. It comes after you find out that Mr. I-think-we-should-be-open-and-polyamorous is actually sleeping with numerous women who think they’re in a straight and monogamous relationship. The following generalizations (and I willingly admit they are generalizations) are the ways I’ve seen and heard far too many “leftist” or “progressive” men backtrack, back-peddle and attempt to futilely redeem themselves after letting their their own patriarchial impulses run amok. And no, I’m not doing this because I hate men. I’m doing it because I want to like them, damnit. And maybe date one someday.

Step One: He offers you a blanket apology. This is the most sincere of the five steps. He actually feels badly about what he’s done! He will show remorse for his actions, himself and his whole friggin’ sex. He’ll apologize that patriarchy exists, that it oppresses you, and that it shouldn’t. He’ll apologize that racism exists, that it oppresses you, and that it shouldn’t. Life is unfair. It’s so much harder for you! He’ll apologize for that, too. He will say you should not have to deal with the sexism ...