honeybadger

My father is in an emotionally abusive relationship. I don’t know how this directly correlates with feminism, but I believe all victims of abuse, including men, should be addressed in the feminist dialogue. I am in need of some advice or feedback—my family and I are currently going through a very difficult situation and I have found Feministing discussions to be always helpful and engaging.

In December, my father married a woman who seemed, at first, to be ideal—poised, successful as a businesswoman, attractive, doting, and outwardly successful. When they were in the ‘courting’ stage, she was constantly doting on him, buying him gifts, and buying the rest of the family gifts. They quickly moved in together, and bought a house.

As soon as they got married, however, things took a completely dire turn. Her behavior changed suddenly and dramatically. I would awaken at 4AM to screaming fits of rage by my stepmother (let’s call her Linda). For days she would cry and whine and complain about my father, when I see no indication that he’d been mistreating her. She would make accusations that he treats her horrendously and cheats on her all the time. I live with them—I see that he obviously cares very much about her and displays it in his actions—cooking her meals, etc. My dad doesn’t go anywhere except for home or work (so logically, cheating would be impossible).

Her out-of-control rages usually end up in her crying and seeking the comfort and sympathy ...