Posts Written by

By 5thcellar • 13 years ago

Dear mom, not sorry I’ve led sis astray

I know you try to be supportive of me; atheism, gay rights support and all. I appreciate that you stand up for me when dad forgets to be a father first and preacher second, constantly telling me that at 26 I’m only going through a phase or condemning me to Hell. I don’t even care that when religion comes into the conversation you take a tone of fond exasperation and we agree to disagree. However, I also know that subconsciously you think dad’s right and you’ll never fully accept me. Why else would there be screaming fights when sis, nearly 16 (the same age I began questioning and eventually stopped attending church) , says she doesn’t want to attend church? Fights that end with my secretly agnostic sister grounded and sullen while being dragged unwilling to a place that insults every value I’ve tried to instill in her.

Yes, perhaps it wasn’t my place to usurp your parental authority like that, but, mom…I couldn’t let you do that to her. I couldn’t mind my place while you surrounded her with people who taught her to be a modest little lady who would never tempt a man into sin by daring to wear short skirts or low-cut tops, while -apart from the preacher’s family with their weird hangup about even male and female siblings swimming together- no boys are ever told not to tempt the girls (who, I suspect, must not have libidos).  As an aside, mom, I’ve ...
By 5thcellar • 13 years ago

The difference between attraction, fetish and tokenism

I fully expect to be jumped on for this, as it can be a controversial subject, but it’s something which has been weighing on my mind recently and I would like to get some opinions on the subject. To start with, a little backstory:
My parents have been divorced for a few years, and since then my dad has pretty exclusively dated black women. This doesn’t bother me. What does, however, is how he does this at the expense of his own race. No white woman of size is attractive, but a WOC who is built exactly the same has “curves in all the right places”. To hear him talk, no woman will ever be as sexy or tough as ...

I fully expect to be jumped on for this, as it can be a controversial subject, but it’s something which has been weighing on my mind recently and I would like to get some opinions on the ...
By 5thcellar • 14 years ago

“Technical” virginity

Let me start out by saying that I honestly don’t get the concept. I have a slut-shaming friend (who, ironically, falls into her own definition of the word, even if you make allowances as far as ‘have as much sex as you want but don’t deliberately set out to bed someone else’s committed partner’)who, for years, introduced herself and another of her friends as “she’s the whore, I’m the virgin”. Why? I don’t know. The only difference was that she still had a hymen. Other than that, they were pretty much equal in terms of sexual experience or “fooling around”.
I’ve seen other posts where interpretations of the word ‘virgin’ have been bandied about. Some say you can still call ...

Let me start out by saying that I honestly don’t get the concept. I have a slut-shaming friend (who, ironically, falls into her own definition of the word, even if you make allowances as far as ‘have ...