When I was 21 I decided the only hope for my personal survival was to move as far away from my strict Hindu parents as possible. My escape from NY was to escape from my parents and what I felt as the suffocating South Asian community we are part of and I found my freedom in San Francisco. Moving back 7 years later was a difficult decision, but I figured I am 30, I am who I am, what can they say to me now?

Before moving in, I set some ground rules for my parents. They were not allowed to talk to me about my lack of allegiance to our religion, my dating and/or marriage status and my weight. I got to give it up to them, they have definitely not bothered me about religion or dating (too much), but they have failed miserably at making comments about my weight.

I bring this up because over the weekend, I finally went to temple with my family for a major holiday. I overheard someone asking my mother where I was and she said, "Oh, you probably didn't recognize her because she has gained so much weight." She didn't realize I heard her so I walked over to say hello and told my mother that what she said was very rude. Everyone laughed.

When I look in the mirror I don't see an overweight person. I have gained weight and it is something I struggle with trying to find the fine line between what I have internalized that as straight up fat hate and actually finding a healthy and balanced way of life that doesn't lead to exercise bulimia and crazy diets. But in general, when I look in the mirror I am saying, "damnnn, I look good!."

What bothers me is that if you are overweight (whatever THAT means) you are somehow a bad person and everyone has the right to judge you or make comments about the way you look. I would be lying if I said I always feel great and confident about myself and the way I look. I struggle on a daily basis with food choices, emotional eating and feeling "fat." But when can we move passed this belief that being larger than the hideous exaggerated fat-hating images of women we see in the media makes you unhealthy, lazy and self-loathing? It is totally acceptable to be hateful towards fat people and mask it with, "but I am worried about you." Seriously, fuck you.

A wise lesson I have learned from a very good friend and a question I keep asking myself is what would it look like for us to let go of the belief and desire to be thin and fat just became a descriptor, way of life or a fact. As opposed to something connected to self loathing, low self esteem and the feeling that you are disgusting.

It is the worst feeling in the world to hate yourself because of your body weight and one of the deepest wounds in my psyche. My mom is starting to understand the impact it has on my emotional/mental health and I have worked hard not to take it personally and recognize that she doesn't mean it to hurt me. But that doesn't always change the way I internalize it.

What are your survival techniques?

TRIGGER WARNING.

Cara takes it to task at the Curvature. I am disgusted by this video.

So, I am sure by now most of you have caught a glimpse of some of the videos capturing hate and vitriol towards Barack Obama at the McCain/Palin rallies. If you are like me, they probably make you sick, embarrassed and even frightened for what the Republicans have come to stand for. When people tell you racism doesn't exist anymore please refer them to the picture above and the countless examples of wing-nuts screaming, "terrist" and "commie" at some of the McCain/Palin events. Epithets such as "terrorist," show us the fear and anxiety that lies at the intersection of race, education, potential political affiliation, class and sexuality and the possible threat to normative forms of white male power. But these tactics are nothing new. Adam Serwer at the American Prospect delves deeper. In discussing Congressman John Lewis bold calling out of McCain's use of racist tactics he says,

It's no wonder that the tone at McCain rallies remind Lewis of the bad old days. In recent months, conservatives have sounded increasingly retro with their attempts to paint Obama as a socialist or communist. In some ways, this accusation is typical far-right boilerplate. Obama certainly isn't the first Democrat running for president to be accused of communist sympathies. And as usual, the accusations are rarely linked to policy specifics. But the difference with Obama is that, in the eyes of the right, it's not just his political affiliation that implicates him as a socialist. It's his ethnic background.

The hysterical accusations of socialism from conservatives echo similar accusations leveled at black leaders in the past, as though the quest for racial parity were simply a left-wing plot. Obama may not actually be a socialist or communist, but his election would strike another powerful blow to the informal racial hierarchy that has existed in America since the 1960s, when it ceased being enforced by law. This hierarchy, which holds that whiteness is synonymous with American-ness, is one conservatives are now instinctively trying to preserve. Like black civil-rights activists of the 1960s, Obama symbolizes the destruction of a social order they see as fundamentally American, which is why terms like "socialism" are used to describe the threat.

Growing up in a country where overt and covert, interpersonal and institutional racism are par for the course, it is not only difficult to watch what is happening and nerve-wracking, but it is indicative of what is coming to a head through this election. This unabashed display of racism is humiliating for most Americans, but it shows us that there are two ways ideological standpoints held by the American public, one that is clinging to yesterday's racist attitudes and one that wants to move forward away from a painful history of racism and abuse against our more disenfranchised members. Also, if you look at the history of calling someone a "pinko commie fag," despite not having to use racialized descriptors, it was generally understood that this was an activist, probably a person of color or someone who fights for the rights of people of color, poor people, queer people, etc. So it is describing an emasculated and raced person, the ultimate threat to nationalist understandings and forms of white masculinity. Obama makes the white boys feel less manly, so they have to call him a "commie" to make them feel less paranoid and anxious.

So their campaign rhetoric is surprisingly on point-a vote for Obama is a vote for change. But I don't need to tell you that. You are already there.

From The Frisky:

Created by adult product purveyors Topco, the Sarah Palin blowup doll is known as the "This is NOT Sarah Palin Inflatable Love Doll." Featuring a busty, conservatively dressed Palin lookalike, the box cover promises: "Cross party lines with your own inflatable running mate!" The political love doll's suggested uses include: "Blow her up and show her how you're going to vote," "Let her pound your gavel over and over," and "It's time some male interns caused a scandal in the Capitol."

So disgusting.

Not only does he have a relationship with former extreme anti-choice activist Paul Schenck, but has overwhelmingly voted against bills that would protect abortion clinics from anti-choice terrorists. Via Think Progress:

On multiple occasions throughout his career, McCain sought to limit the government's ability to punish violent anti-choice fanatics by:

- Voting against making anti-choice violence a federal crime. As the Jed Report notes, McCain voted in 1993 and 1994 against making "bombings, arson and blockades at abortion clinics, and shootings and threats of violence against doctors and nurses who perform abortions" federal crimes.

- Opposing Colorado's "Bubble Law." McCain said he opposed Colorado's "Bubble Law," which prohibited abortion protesters from getting within 8 feet of women entering clinics [Denver Post, 2/27/00]. The law was later upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court.

- Voting to allow those fined for violence at clinics to avoid penalties by declaring bankruptcy. NARAL Pro-Chioce America notes that McCain "voted to allow perpetrators of violence or harassment at reproductive-health clinics to avoid paying the fines assessed against them for their illegal acts by declaring bankruptcy."

This is not to mention he sat in silence at an event while anti-choice extremist Marylin Shannon lauded a woman currently in jail for shooting former Navy veteran and doctor who provides abortion care. Check it out:

I'm married. Been married for 14 years. I moved away from my family to be with my wife's family, left my career, friends, & family behind. I now work out of my house because my wife got a "better" job else where and now I do ALL of the cooking and cleaning and take care of my 3 kids. She's the typical MALE now...comes homes, I have dinner ready. She works more at home. I play with the kids. She goes to bed, I have to go to bed. My whole life revolves around her now. She's the Sun and I'm Uranus. She leaves dirty clothes on the floor. Trash on tables. HAIR everywhere!! I SIT to pee now cuz I hate to clean up pubic hairs off the toilets....it's disgusting.

Yes, he's experiencing what many women have experienced for decades. But no one deserves to feel this way about their life or relationship. What I dislike about the entire tone of this post, however, is that he's not just pissed off about the unequal nature of his relationship. He's pissed because he's "THE WOMAN" -- as in, women are the ones who should doing all the shit work:

I feel I'm being converted to a female in some sick way. I AM NOT A WOMAN! I love women. But I now know what they put up with. It sucks. No thanks for dinner....not even "dinner was great dear...how 'bout I clean up the dishes"....NNOOOOOO. Just a couple of grunts and it's off to work....kinda like a guy going to the garage for the evening. I have tools. I'd love to go to the garage and work. But I think my kids come first. I'd love to have an affair but don't think I can deal with the guilt. If I start to PMS.......I'll scream. Oh...and don't think she's "MAN" enough to mow the yard or shovel the drive...nope...that's me too. Who gets the groceries....ME. My nipples stick out in the frozen food section too by the way. No one tries to pick me up though. I did get asked by the cashier what was for dinner once!!! I must have something written on my forhead. So women, ladies, how do you put up with it???

I'll admit to laughing at the nipples-in-the-frozen-food-aisle line, but I genuinely feel bad for this guy. In light of our conversation last week about balancing relationships with chores and the ins and outs of living together, does anyone have advice for this man?

Of 562 complaints reviewed by Bloomberg News, the vast majority of users alleged the patch caused deep-vein thrombosis, or blood clots in the legs, and pulmonary embolisms, or blood clots in the lungs. Some blamed it for heart attacks or strokes. The complaints blamed Ortho Evra for the deaths of 20 women.

One settled case involved Ashley Lewis, a 17-year-old high school junior from St. Louis who died in 2003. She developed a blood clot in her lung after wearing the patch for six months, according to Roger Denton, an attorney for Lewis's family, including her son, who was a one-year-old when she died.

Earlier this year, the NY Times found internal company documents that showed J&J hid evidence that Ortho Evra actually delivered much more estrogen than birth control pills, despite its claims otherwise. So scary. (I was actually a huge NuvaRing fan until I read about women having similar problems, like blood clots, at a higher rate than with the pill.)

Related: One woman recounts her horror story with the patch at Nerve.