“The overweight young woman whose bra straps always showed, and who had the unfortunate habit of burping out loud, lasted minutes before being moved quickly to another floor”

...Hey...that's me. I was told it was a promotion.

I remember my mother telling me stories about how she went through sexual harassment in the male-dominated film/TV sector... she even got felt up in an interview! They were anything but pleasant... merely stories to compare now vs then.

Sad.

I haven't read the article yet but the line about the glitter gets me:
1 - if you're not working at a bar or something, glitter at work? Seriously???
2 - Years ago I worked for several years in an arts administration that was mainly female. Then I switched to advertising, which was mostly male. It was really weird to come to work each day and have no one comment on what I was wearing -- the guys *did not give a shite*! So that part of the article strikes me as truly bizarre. (Then again, I wasn't throwing glitter down my cleavage, just wearing blazers and jeans...)

Every workplace would do well to have more feminist sensibilities. Every person should be treated not as a pair of tits or a pair of balls, just people. Yes, some men shit upon women in the workplace, and elsewhere. And, believe it or not, some women try to use their "feminine charms" or whatever the hell they think it is they're using to get ahead with the boss in the workplace. The fact that men allow themselves to fall for that particular brand of shit is a disgrace to my gender. And some men who I know take the opposite approach altogethre -- they are so fucking scared of being accused by one of these women who behave this way of something that they are more likely to work closely with, mentor and socialize with young men in the office. This ain't the way it should be, and it strikes me that both genders are pretty fucked up and could stand a dose of just treating everybody like people.

it is beyond insulting for her to advise professional women to act in any way more like geishas to get ahead.

I'm happily married. I'm not interested in flirting with men at work (or anywhere.) Can I wear my flat shoes? I don't wear flip flops because they're unprofessional, not because I want a "sexy gait." Besides, a truly sexy woman has an attractive walk no matter her shoes. Also, gold-flecked body powder is trashy in an office, not sexy.

Flirting in the office can be fun, but it shouldn't play any part in office politics or in career advancement.

"The newsroom was full of tough Australian journalists hired by my new boss, Rupert Murdoch."

That sentence alone sums up the writer. Anyone who thinks Murdoch hires non-hacks who report real news is more than a bit wrong. In Murdoch's newsroom, I bet she had to flirt. It was required and she had to comply. How dare young women now feel they are free not to do so! It is making her feel cheated that no one else is subjected to such objectification to get a foot in the door.

Come on Courtney, be nice, after all, she was a Cosmo Girl.

Somehow, bragging about being pawed by a politician .... how old school ... makes her into someone to be pitied, not scorned, kind of like a Stockholm Syndrome victim.

And, judging from the comments to her article, her advice was found dated and unconvincing.

Wow. Just...wow. I mean, I've heard the old adage about dressing in the appropriately feminine manner for job interviews (i.e. skirts, pantyhose, makeup so you look "polished" and presumably attractive enough for the theroetical male interviewer to hire you), but I've never heard such ridiculous advice about FLIRTING as a way to advance your career. Okay, I get that when she entered the industry, it was much more male-dominated and she had to put up with a lot of sexist shit. But now? Really?

internalized oppression - check. Good article.

I would just like to share that I am overweight and my bra strap is showing today.

I'm overweight, too. I'm wearing a t-shirt so my bra straps aren't showing, but I could probably muster up a good burp if you gave me a minute.

Rupert Murdoch has totally fucked with her head.
What a ridiculous, retrograde article.

My grandmother was a nurse right after WWII. The actions by doctors she describes could be considered more sexual assault than sexual harassment.

She said that whenever nurses scrubbed up for surgery, they had to stand in a sterile area, not touching anything before going into surgery to avoid contamination. Doctors would stand by and feel up the nurses in the sterile field (pinching butts, cupping breasts, tweaking nipples, hands going up skirts) because if the nurse retaliated and pushed the doctors off, she would have to scrub up again, delaying the surgery. This would cost the nurse her job while doctors would give each other high fives.

So as much as Betsy Perry pines for the good old days where the men were men and the women were objects, I'm going to have to say fuck that: fuck sexual harassment and fuck institutional misogyny.

a sexy gait is worth a little hamstring ache in the long run, don’t you think?”

Uh, no. No, I don't think so.

On the planet of human beings, where I come from, pain is considered a bad thing, especially for an intangible and temporary result such as "feeling pretty." But I realize that the civilization of Fembots may have a different opinion on this, having been programmed to consider there to be no higher value than being attractive to males.

I am very sorry for what my species did to you, poor gynoid. Is there any way we can make it up to you? Extra oil for your joints? A new battery pack to increase your lifespan?

awesome post, thank you Courtney!

I'm an engineer and I don't need to flirt with anyone. I am judged based on how good my work is and I love that. (not that there aren't issues in the super male-dominate field of engineering)

It's too bad if she had to flirt. but please don't recommend it to us who can actually expect to be judged on our qualifications.

I did a paper for a women's studies class on cosmo, and this article is consistent with their entire outlook on the world. Cosmo basically starts with the premise that nothing is wrong with American society, and so if they tell women to get ahead within the existing system, they are empowering women (well, white women primarily, no one else seems to really exist in cosmo). They don't distinguish at all between something that may have benefits for a specific woman in a specific moment (like the ability to use her looks to manipulate men), vs. things that are actually good for the status of women. It is exactly the same distinction that this woman is oblivious to, so this article doesn't suprise me at all from a Cosmo girl.

Word to the wise: even for academic purposes, never read 6 issues of cosmo back to back. It took me a month to emerge from the depression that ensued.

this is funny because at my office, the straight men flirt and fawn over my straight male boss shamelessly. seriously if i said the stuff they said it would totally come off as flirting but just because they're talking about sports or whatever and are male its totally acceptable, and they get promotions.

I remember getting sexually harassed during my college days as a lineserver in the college cafeteria. The cook was this disgusting middle aged man who was always talking about women in the most graphic ways, and he was always making sexual comments to the female students who worked there. He asked one girl that he would be glad to "teach her all he knows about sex." I walked through an area of the kitchen where the floor was just mopped, and he told me,"Don't slip! I'll have to catch you in my strong virile arms!" Gag. Anyway, the last straw was when he would stand directly behind me while I was serving food to students. He was so close that I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, and his front was rubbing against my back. I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it. When I complained to management, this creep said that he was only "supervising my work closely." Like this asshole could see what I was doing through the back of my head. The college bought his explanation, and I tried to file a grievance. Unfortunately, a lot of the other female students who went through the same thing were afraid to back me up. They said this stupid work study job wasn't "worth the hassle". I ended up quitting because I couldn't stand it anymore.

Sexual harassment is totally not a thing of the past.

I've had a lot of "public service jobs." (Let's put it this way - I have an extensive collection of name tags and hair nets.)

People don't care if you get treated like crap in the fast food industry. My friend and I were 16 and working at Dunkin' Donuts when our 40 year old boss told as that, in his culture, naked massages were *NOT* cheating on his wife. I had another 16 year old worker hit on by the dish washers and tell the boss, only to have the boss ask "What? Are you a lesbian?"

Articles like this disgust me, because our 16 year old selves didn't have a clue who to turn to to fix the problem and this author does nothing but validate the behavior as acceptable.

“The overweight young woman whose bra straps always showed, and who had the unfortunate habit of burping out loud, lasted minutes before being moved quickly to another floor”

I'm having trouble understanding what happened here. The woman was hired, so she must have met the company's rigorous standards during the interview. Then I'm assuming she gained one hundred pounds in the month between the interview and her start date. Of course, her clothing didn't fit anymore due to the unexpected weight gain. She arrived at work on day one at 8:00 AM and, if this anecdote is to be believed, managed to show off her bra straps and burp ubiquitously all by 8:03 or so, before someone came along and said, "OH MY GOD! HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THE ATTIC?!?"

Is that what she's saying? What a bizarre workplace.

Years ago I worked for several years in an arts administration that was mainly female. Then I switched to advertising, which was mostly male. It was really weird to come to work each day and have no one comment on what I was wearing -- the guys *did not give a shite*! So that part of the article strikes me as truly bizarre.

I'm not sure why you'd be surprised halfmad...isn't it the saying that "women dress for other women, not men". It's quite noticeable at every place I've worked so far...women will always be the one complimenting another woman's outfit whereas the guys don't even notice.

On a personal note, I sometimes do feel that it's awkward to compliment a female colleague on her outfit. Because most people make the assumption that one is heterosexual, I feel that if I give a woman a compliment on her outfit, this may carry the message that I've been staring at her body (because to admire a top or skirt/pants/jeans, the eyes would have to look at the body part in question), which she might then construe as lacivious oogling on my part and might be offended. Or that I might be attracted to her or some sexual undercurrent.

Shoes, bags and accesories would be easier to compliment though, I think.

Let's define flirtation. I think of it as leading a person to believe you are sexually interested in him or her. This is a landmine. As long as you've got the status or protection not to get your bluff called, you might be fine, but many people aren't that lucky. And if you *do* have sex with a business relation, you're up a creek when it ends, especially if the other person moves on to someone else you work with. If you're going to play that game, you'd better have some political backup to protect you from the fallout.

A lot of women, especially young and naive ones, mix up requirements (ie, behaving in a sexualized way; accepting sexualized behavior) with benefits. They may not actually be gaining advantage by their behavior; they're merely avoiding a punishment that the men on the job don't have to fear.

Another problem is the infamous slippery slope. Allow a kiss on the cheek from the male law partner and when he kisses you on the lips, it's a bit harder to make your case against it. Etc. And a lot harder to justify not allowing *others* to do it without wounding egos.

I'll repeat: Sex is a landmine. In business, the dangers greatly outweigh the benefits for most people.

I like myself, so...I don't care if every time I leave my house, every man that sees me imagines fucking me because I'm hot.
Really, Betsy Perry, the pat on the head is not worth the cost. I promise.

Ditto AlaraJRogers. Why no, "a sexy gait" is not worth shortened calf muscles.

What's funny is that I often wear men's clothing and walk with a long stride that could be described as a march. Men still find me attractive and I like men who can admire a woman's biceps rather than be intimidated ;)

As an "Onion" horoscope once told me:

"You are sleeping your way somewhere, but no one would mistake it for the top."

Aside of the article being a total train wreck, I didn't know women still wore gold-flecked body powder. The last time I wore that stuff it was the early '80s, I had big hair, and I wore it only to parties, never to work.

I have a few things to comment on:
first: margaret: nice Wayne's World Reference. Just the thing to shake up your early morning at work.
second: I really enjoyed her sparkle powder because my friend had a younger sister and when we were in high school and she was in middle school we used to say her and her friends single handedly kept the glitter market running.

On the article itself, unfortunately there are a decent amount of women who, in the days when sexual harassment cases were non-existant figured there only way to handle it was to "toughen up" be female, and show them that you can take there crap. It may have been the best way at the time to deal with the situation but women today have more options and should not feel that their is something wrong with them if they execute those options.

Jesus. I always found it horribly shameful and pathetic the way my boss used to wear lower-cut shirts when she had meetings with certain managers. Being my "roll model" at the time, I followed her lead exactly ONCE by "flirting" with the boys in the credit department... and felt stupid and horrified when it WORKED. I wondered constantly if they thought I was an idiot, or if they thought I was just some "silly little girl" and was pissed that I had let that crap happen.

As for the gold flecked body powder-let's not get into shaming or even deciding what is "appropriate work attire" for women. My daughter likes her body glitter and if she asks me to wear some, I'm gonna- sometimes it's in bronzer and it's fun and I like it. I don't shove it down my shirt, but hey, the point should be WHO CARES what a person who gets their work done well & efficiently choses to wear? It's tantamount to claiming that only women who dress in pants suits should expect to be taken seriously at work, only women who hide their breasts behind large suit coats or wear nylons under skirts are "serious" about their work. We have a casual environment and when I wear a pair of jeans and a polo (like the boys do) I wanna be able to say a big f-u to the hold harassy guy who used to work here and make comments about how much nicer ladies look when they dress like ladies. On the flip side, when I wanna wear my too cute skirt and heels with a nice v-neck, i don't want to hear about how I can't do business with the boyz.

"I feel that if I give a woman a compliment on her outfit, this may carry the message that I've been staring at her body (because to admire a top or skirt/pants/jeans, the eyes would have to look at the body part in question), which she might then construe as lacivious oogling on my part and might be offended."

When guys (at work or elsewhere) that I know and am friendly with compliment my clothing, it is fine. When the stranger-dude in the elevator does it, it is definitely creepy.

Wouldn't it be fun if all of us overweight women who burp and show our bra straps got put on the same floor together?! That's the kind of workplace I want to work in!! ;)