Very true! I actually kinda just got cat-called today when I went to Subway. Here I am paying for my veggie delite sandwich and a guy interrupts and says something I could not understand. Turns out he was saying "what am I doing today?" and "I am so beautiful." I just kinda ignored him and flashed a half smile. Still, after all the years of being cat called, I still don't know how to respond.

Ugh, too true. Just today at lunch my friend and I had to endure some random guy yelling incomprehensibly at us. Something like, "You ladies are lookin' good! You were just waiting for the weather to warm up!"

Last night we were leaving a restarant after a girlfriend's birthday, and there I am with my husband, our sleeping 8 year old slung over his shoulder, and some stupid boys in a truck were all "whoo hoo ladies!" I couldn't think of a word to say. "eat a dick" wasn't quite the appropriate quip at that moment, but I spent all night quizzing myself on what I should have done. What do you say to that crap? And how fired up do you get when it's clearly ridiculous? And is it that different if a truck full of ladies cat-called my darling husband?

@RoseColoredGlasses - Is that cat-calling? I thought cat-calling was done at a distance like construction workers whistling or calling out short lewd things out of cars. In those cases the person doesn't really expect a verbal response. In fact, I'd say that part of the reason they do it is because there is very little risk of any sort of confrontation (either positive or negative).

What you described sounds more like a really bad pick up line by someone who doesn't know how to approach women. I'd say the correct way to handle that is to ignore it, but look slightly annoyed to be bothered at all. If they are persistent, a "not interested" in a forceful tone (with some annoyed in there).

If they continue to be persistent, well... that's where I'm not entirely sure since you've crossed into full blown harassment and would probably be feeling pretty freaked out, so it is hard to stay emotionally neutral. I think I'd just get the heck out of there.

As far as appropriate responses to what I think of as cat-calling, well that is really really hard because generally you'd have to shout it and you probably don't have all that much time. Not only that, but because some women respond in a positive manner (sometimes *very* positive), you're probably not going to remove that positive re-enforcement with a short comment.

I say flip them off for 2 seconds and walk away. It is simple, you can do it in a detached way, it gets the point across, people don't find it as an insult against them (less chance of a physical confrontation) and there is no ambiguity.

Well, cat-calling is yet more pathetic behavior from men desparately seeking any kind of attention from a woman, even negative.

Speaking as a guy who has has never cat-called it is hard to imagine what motivates this behavior. For sure, it is evidence of low intelligence, not something I would think would attract a woman - also, lack of self-control, even less attractive. "2-minute" men may be an exaggeration for cat-callers ...

If I were you, ladies, I'd ignore them. To respond in any manner would only reward them. But I can only imagine how tiresome these incidents become.

david

This gave me a much-needed laugh today. I walk to work every morning (about two miles) and I love it: healthy for me and the earth. The only thing that I don't like about it is all the idiots who feel the right to cat-call at me. This morning was the worst - I got honked and stared at by a fireman in a firetruck and a cop within ten minutes of each other. Utterly aggravating and I felt like I could do nothing. Flipping off a fireman and a cop just seems like a poor idea for a variety of reasons but I would have loved to have a way to express my distaste for the honking and staring. If anyone should know they should be watching the road and not my ass one would hope it would be them!

Maybe if we all carried air-horns and blasted them every time we were cat-called it would help people get the idea exactly how disturbing and disconcerting cat-calling can be.

The Air Horn Project!

I wouldn't call that cat-calling, RoseColoredGlasses; more like... obnoxious flirting?

I would loooove to be co-founder of the Air Horn Project.

lmfao sgzax

... that is such an awesome visual

Not only that, but because some women respond in a positive manner (sometimes *very* positive), you're probably not going to remove that positive re-enforcement with a short comment.

I would say the number of women that react in a positive manner are far outweighed by those that don't react at all or react negatively. And, cat-callers/harassers aren't dogs that need to be trained. They are men. Men cat-call/harass because they are sexist assholes with no respect for women, not because they are hoping for that one woman that will respond positively.

On topic, I love the diagram. Thankfully, I'm fat and over 30, making me practically invisible to sexist assholes.

Lovin' the airhorn idea here, too!

I love the air horn idea! Did any of you ever watch Arrested Development? Lucille (the mom) had an air horn in case she was attacked. Not only would it draw attention to the harassing cat-caller but it would give them a WTF? moment - just like they have been doing to us for ages with the damned cat-calls!

This catcalling thing just doesn't seem to happen in my city (a city of about 300,000 in Canada). I walk past 4 construction sites on my way to work, and I've never heard a catcall. Not directed at me, nor at anyone else. Maybe I'm too old to be visible to them (33), but there are lots of young women in the area too and I've not heard anything directed at them.

Once, a drunk guy hung out the window of a cab and catcalled (either at me or my daughter, not sure which, but both are creepy thoughts - she's 13), but that was so odd that two people around me asked if I was okay, and someone said I should call the cab company and make a complaint! (as if it were somehow the cabbie's fault?)

Reading what goes on in other cities really floors me.

I am going out to buy an airhorn TONIGHT!

I hate being catcalled. I wonder if it's a bit irrational at times. I'm actually afraid when it happens. My whole body tenses up. I would love to be clever and flippant, but I just want to run. Realistically, they're not likely to do anything to me, but I am just afraid. There it is.

@Luna - Well according to this chart, cat-calling increases with temperature. Is it always cold where you live? :)

OMG an airhorn. That literally made me laugh out loud really fucking hard.

There's something I've been thinking about more and more lately, and I've wanted to say it but I'm not sure how to articulate it, so I'll give it my best shot.
Cat-calling is gross and stupid. It reduces women to their attractiveness at a given time, reminding us that our main purpose in the patriarchy is to be pretty. However, even though I know this, I feel like being catcalled/hit on by weirdos is a competition (at least in my mind). When I was younger, my friends and I used to compare weirdo stories. I've seen the same thing on Feministing, but of course with a different purpose. And everyone says, "it's not about what you look like, it's about power," and stuff like that, but to a large degree it is about what you look like. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know it sucks to be subject to remarks about your body on a daily basis, but does it suck less to never be catcalled, and to know that means you're invisible? I guess this is another lose-lose courtesy of the patriarchy. I just wanted to point out that I personally feel like a failure for not prompting catcalls - I must not be a good-enough woman (being a woman = pretty/attractive in this case). Anyone else had this perspective?

Lala -
I feel like you are, in part, responding to my comment about being fat and over 30, therefore invisible to sexist assholes. It was supposed to be a joke and sounded funny to me at the time (in my defense, it was at the end of a particularly boring work day and I had one foot out the door) and I should have deleted that before I posted it. It certainly isn’t true. Sure, I hardly get cat-called anymore, but I also live in a small, rural community now …not a lot of instances to be cat-called and, since it makes me uncomfortable and creeped-out anyway, I really don’t mind.

Lala- A good friend of mine lost over 150 pounds and went from being "invisible" to "visible." She told me during the time that she was losing weight that she WANTED to be catcalled because the only things ever projected at her in public were fat! fat! fat!, and she imagined it would make her feel complimented. Once it started happening, she began to hate it.
It's a double-edged sword, the patriarchy. What advice I would give you is the only person that you need to love is you. Don't ever let yourself feel reduced to "fuckable" or "not fuckable." You know you're so much more than that.

Lala, when I was 20 and out in public with my younger sister (who has always been a lot more developed than me) she used to get cat called a lot, while I didn't get a second look. I don't recall ever being jealous of the attention directed at her, only scared for her safety and wellbeing. In fact, it was a bit of a relief for me at the time that I was hardly ever a target. Though in recent years I have had some unwanted attention I'd prefer to be invisible if I could. To me, any kind of harassment (shouting, leering, staring, lewd comments of any kind, animal noises, deliberately invading my personal space) by any random dickhead in public does not make me feel validated as a woman. It does not make me think "Wow, I must be really sexually appealing today". It just makes me feel sick, angry and wishing I could retaliate to said dickhead/s with a more intelligent response than "Fuck you."

To all of you that brought it to my attention, I know I wasn't cat called. Trust me, I know what that is...it's happened to me a million times throughout my life. It's so sad...

Actually, I have to add on to my crappy day of men yesterday. So, I had the Subway incident, and then I went to Borders later on that day to study and get a coffee. While I was there, there was a 50 yr old man waiting in line, while I was talking to my friend who worked there. I talked to him too, just casually, and then later on he started talking to me again and kept telling me how beautiful I am and how I made his day b/c I am so beautiful. I felt so weirded out that once again, I didn't know what to do. I hate this...when will it stop! I think i need to start wearing my "This is what a feminist looks like" t-shirt A LOT more often or something....

Airhorns sound great, too! HAHA

M.Aloisius - The vast majority of Canadians live and work in areas that get cold winters and hot summers (30-35 celsius in July and August). This week in southern Ontario our humidex was up above 30C. Just over 80% of us live within 250km of the US border. I do find it funny the number of Americans who believe that it is always cold up here.
Luna - I definitely have had similar experiences (few catcallers) in my city of 500 000. This is all purely anecdotal of course, but I do wonder.
Have a great weekend everyone... go out and buy an airhorn! lmao

Hi. To be honest, I've always sort of rolled my eyes at these angry catcall comments. While I hate and am offended by lewd remarks as much as anyone else, a wolf whistle or a honk of the horn has never really bothered me. That is, until today.

It's a nice day out (I live in Buffalo, so one of our first of the year) and I was walking home from Starbucks with my best friend - we try not to drive because of equal parts of high gas prices and Earth friendliness. I was wearing a long (below the knee) loose, flowy skirt, something quite conservative because I wore it to work this morning and then decided not to change. It's pretty windy out so I began having some "Marilyn Monroe" moments, though I seemed to have slower reflexes than her. Still, I didn't really mind; I'm 19, I'm with my best friend, the sun is out, I'm having fun, and if my skirt accidentally blows up, who cares? I even made a joking comment to my friend that luckily I wasn't wearing the huge purple pair of underwear I often seem to have on.

I am standing at a street corner to cross when suddenly a man pulls up, waiting to turn. He leans toward me and, honestly, I thought he was going to tell me we could cross and then he'd make the turn. But no. He leans over and says, "Those are some nice panties you have on," then makes the turn (over the curb, I might add) and drives away.

And I was SPEECHLESS. My jaw literally dropped. My friend had walked away for a second to throw away a piece of trash, so I had to tell her what happened when she walked back. I wish I had come up with a biting response, but even now, an hour later, I have no idea what I would have said. One second I was laughing with my best friend, discussing the pros and cons of Bikram Yoga. The next I was reduced to nothing, a nice pair of panties.

So I just wanted to share this personal, albeit long, anecdote of the day I truly began to hate the catcalls and the unwanted sexual remarks.

yep. this is very much aligned with my experience.