Unless you're being deliberately ironic, you may want to change that to "isn't."

Wow, that teaches me to blog without having had my coffee.

it's disgusting how many times I've heard this lovely little phrase at college (and then of course proceeded to freak out on the person who said it).

Flair isn't all bad though! I have a feministing button on my cork board!! As well as a few awesome repo rights slogans (ie: you cut off my reproductive rights i'll cut off yours).

Good god. I have honestly never heard that one before. Wow.

stuff like this all over facebook and in an array of applications. usually i just mark the piece as "offensive"--I don't know what else I can really do since it's individuals who design these things, not the creators.

I'm on Facebook, and normally I love the Pieces of Flair application.

Turns out there are MANY such pieces of flair. If you enter the term rape in the search field, MANY such buttons appear. It's horrifying. I'm reporting any I find.

Oh, and to echo coreanna, there are plenty of positive Flair too...including ones that say "Real Men Don't Rape"!

Even though I disagree with this particular point, the OP probably meant to say "that's not AN excuse".

If a developer creates a tool for which allows users to generate content, and someone uses that tool to create content which is objectionable, the original developers are not culpable. They are not the authors of the idiotic buttons; they were simply giving out free pens. To imply that the developers think that rape is funny based solely on their inaction in this case is ludicrous.

It would be like writing an email to blogger.com demanding that they take down someone's blog because you found it extremely offensive, or accusing the Motion Picture Experts Group of exploiting children because perverts used their video codecs to digitize and disseminate kiddie porn. Hell, if you're going to hold the developers liable, why not yell at your ISP too for taking an active part in delivering the harmful "rape is funny" message to thousands?

It's a freedom of expression issue, plain and simple. Would you think the developers should be under obligation to censor if they received a substantial quantity of complaints about the "offensiveness" of user-created pro-gay buttons? Anti-Bush buttons?

The outrage about these buttons is justified, but misdirected.

I guess the real source of my outrage outrage is that, because I find it inappropriate and kind of senseless to pressure the developers to subjectively regulate the buttons, I also feel that the wave of indignant emails urged by the post would reflect poorly on feminism, and serve only to bolster negative stereotypes of feminists.

Sorry I didn't flesh out that conclusion earlier.

I have to agree with Unicron_The_Vagina. As offensive as this is it's not the issue of the developer. If you're going to complain to anyone complain to facebook about them not having a zero tolerance policy about it.

But honestly, look what happened when LJ tried to censor stuff. They ended up banning the accounts of people who were rape and incest survivor who had expressed that as an interest on their profile. Sometimes free speech is just the best way to go.
The real issue is that people choose to put these buttons up and find them funny, not that they have the ability to do so. Banning the damn application won't change their minds, they'll just find some other way to be complete jerks.

UTV, I don't think the developers think rape is funny - that's why I pointed out that the button was created by a user. And I certainly don't think anyone should ban the application! But Facebook does ban offensive content, and I do think it's the developer's responsibility to get rid of shit like this - I don't think it's a ridiculous thing to ask that they get rid of the button.

Surprise surprise. Of course there is a tool on the facebook discussion board who thinks we are all over-reacting about the button and that we should just chill out, cause you know, "rape is just surprise sex" is a commonly used term and we are just exposing ourselves as hermits for not knowing that. Because of course if we KNEW that if rape was often trivialized and laughed at, we totally would not be offended. Mr. Troll also pulled out the freedom of speech card. We all need to go on the discussion board STAT to educate this moron.

Surprise surprise. Of course there is a tool on the facebook discussion board who thinks we are all over-reacting about the button and that we should just chill out, cause you know, "rape is just surprise sex" is a commonly used term and we are just exposing ourselves as hermits for not knowing that. Because of course if we KNEW that if rape was often trivialized and laughed at, we totally would not be offended. Mr. Troll also pulled out the freedom of speech card. We all need to go on the discussion board STAT to educate this moron.

Full disclosure: I am NOT a Facebook user, so I'll admit that I'm ignorant of some of the finer details of its ins and outs, and that ignorance may compromise the validity of some of my opinions. More on that later.

I may have misspoken about the OP's accusation to the Flair developers. It's true that it never says explicitly that the developers think that rape is funny. I do have to respectfully point out, however, that by urging readers to "let them know that rape isn't funny", it definitely implies that the concept of "rape != funny" is currently unknown to them. And while it did acknowledge that the developers didn't create the phrase on the buttons, that acknowledgment is immediately followed by "...but that's not an excuse". To me, that puts the blame squarely back on the developers, which I think is unfair.

I never meant to imply that it was calling for the application to be completely banned; I understood that it called only for the developers to ban this particular button.

My issue is with the implications subjective censorship in general, and I feel that the act of asking the developers to police the user-generated content in this manner opens the door to lots of other Bad Things, one example of which would be the unfair censorship of ideas which I vehemently support.

If, however, Facebook already enforces subjective community standards, then that door is already wide open, and I need to get off of the free-speech-at-all-costs soapbox and STFU.

I would like to propose an alternate interpretation of the button's implications though, sort of as a side argument for the general benefits of free speech in this instance. I definitely see the argument that they perpetuate misogyny and, as such, we should find them upsetting. On the other hand, I would also argue that, by clearly labeling themselves, the assholes who put these buttons on their profiles are doing an invaluable service to anyone who wants to either attempt to enlighten them or avoid them all together. If Facebook, one of whose express purposes is to facilitate meeting new people, were to ban all misogynist, homophobic, or otherwise hateful content from its users' profiles, there's a chance that you could meet someone online, and not have any clue as to their detestableness until you meet in person, at which point it might be too late.

I realize that comes off as rather a rather squirrely change of subject, but I honestly don't think it's a tangent without merit.

Coreanna- GREAT line. "You cut off my reproductive rights i'll cut off yours" AWESOME. Jess, can we start a thread where people can post the best slogans, catch lines and phrases for equal/repro/women's rights, etc? After that rediculous Flair piece, I'm feelin' the need for some positive vibes this Friday! (Besides, I'd like to hit up Cafe Press with a slogan or two and make a tee-shirt to wear 'round town :) )

To comment on the ensuing discussion about whether or not the creators of the application should remove it, I would only add that not only are buttons like this problematic because they are offensive to a huge number of people, but it ignores that fact that rape is a CRIMINAL ACT and is a violation of someone's body and mind that is wholly unacceptable. Sure there is right to free speech, but even Facebook has standards.

UTV, I agree. Look, the button is clearly WAY offensive, but I get really nervous when we start saying things like, "This idea is to offensive to be shared."

Mostly because, as UTV already mentioned, if you get rid of the button, you don't get rid of the idea, you just lose your ability to determine who subscribes to that idea. I would prefer that scary rape-promoting assholes wear buttons like this all the time in real life, too, so that I know when to walk on the other side of the street.

I agree that it's not Facebook's issue. I agree that it's not the developers' issue.

This is EVERYONE's issue. Whoever made the offending piece of flair, whoever tries to defend them (there's a real winner discussing the application on Facebook right now), whoever is a survivor of rape or sexual assault, whoever has not been affected by rape or sexual assault. All of us.

So, I also agree with Unicron. I don't think it's fair to throw responsibility back on the developer of the application. That's like blaming a real estate developer for the offensive graffiti on the side of his building. You can blame him for not removing it quickly, but he's not the one with the can of spray paint in his hand.

I look forward to the day when avenues of free speech--even something as insignificant as "flair"--are filled with messages such as "STOP RAPE NOW" and "NO TO VIOLENCE." I think the spirit of the original Feministing post was to raise awareness to get us to that point. That's certainly the intent of the discussion we're having on the applications discussion board at the moment.

Ok, back to work now. ;-)

I agree that it's not Facebook's issue. I agree that it's not the developers' issue.

This is EVERYONE's issue. Whoever made the offending piece of flair, whoever tries to defend them (there's a real winner discussing the application on Facebook right now), whoever is a survivor of rape or sexual assault, whoever has not been affected by rape or sexual assault. All of us.

So, I also agree with Unicron. I don't think it's fair to throw responsibility back on the developer of the application. That's like blaming a real estate developer for the offensive graffiti on the side of his building. You can blame him for not removing it quickly, but he's not the one with the can of spray paint in his hand.

I look forward to the day when avenues of free speech--even something as insignificant as "flair"--are filled with messages such as "STOP RAPE NOW" and "NO TO VIOLENCE." I think the spirit of the original Feministing post was to raise awareness to get us to that point. That's certainly the intent of the discussion we're having on the applications discussion board at the moment.

Ok, back to work now. ;-)

Nicole, I never said anyone was overreacting. In fact, to the exact contrary, I said that the outrage WAS JUSTIFIED. I just said that it was misdirected. I never accused anyone of being ignorant of the fact that rape is too-often trivialized, nor did I say anything about feminists exposing themselves as hermits.

I think you seriously misunderstood my intentions, and if you carefully re-read my first two comments, you'll see that a lot of your accusations & refutations don't really apply at all to what I actually said.

I don't appreciate the pejorative connotations of either of the words in the phrase "Mr. Troll", nor any of the other insults. I am not trying to get a rise out of anyone. I am a person who, like most of this site's other readers, has opinions about feminist issues which they want to discuss because I feel like exploratory discourse is important.

If you are truly interested in "educating" someone, you should consider your tone more carefully, and think about how much credence you would give ideas which were presented to you in such a condescending manner.

On a second read-through, I'll concede that my characterization of the OP's call to action as "senseless" came off as much more broad and insulting than I intended. I meant it in the more literal sense; a less judgmental sounding word might have been "illogical".

Sorry Jessica!

I also really like the idea of sharing clever catch phrases to keep the discussion light, though regrettably I don't really have the requisite wit for those...

Unicron, while I agree with you that it's not appropriate to BLAME the program developers, I do think CONTACTING the developers is the appropriate response, since it's their job to sift through all of the button submissions and delete the offensive ones. (And that's what they, and Facebook, do, so there is a precedent for such things.)

Freedom of expression is NOT the issue here. Freedom of expression only applies to public realms. Facebook is a private realm, and an application within Facebook is also a private realm. Which is not to say that I think censorship at the demand of the majority is always the appropriate move in a private setting; I'm pretty torn about the issue, and I don't think any sweeping statements can be made.

I do see what you're saying about the tidal wave of accusatory e-mails reflecting negatively on feminists, though. It's one of those lovely damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situations that we feminists seem to find ourselves in so very frequently, especially when it comes to "humor."

On another note, I'm actually tremendously encouraged by the discussion I've seen on the application discussion board. I'm really impressed with the extremely logical and thorough arguments that the anti-button people are providing. If anything, at least this button has encouraged such thoughtful semi-public discussion.

(I'm also currently writing a thesis on arguments over rape jokes, so hooray for academic relevance!)

Unicron, I was referring to the guy named Mike on facebook who said this:

"by Mike at 6:56am
We're rating the app here, not one button out of thousands of user-driven content. Give them a chance to deal with it first instead of raving your pretty little heads off in a tizzy from a whopping 4 seconds ago."

and this:

"If you fussy folk had bothered to look it up instead of acting strictly out of shock value, you'll realize that it's a fairly common quote, which at least once I find has been (questionably) attributed to Oscar Wilde. I'm taking up the picket signs to push outlawing "boycotting on the basis of alarmism without actually researching your own cause first." I get over 5000 search results from that specific phrase alone. Have some reasonable doubt before you go shouting from the rooftops about a social disparity before checking before checking out to see whether it is actually somewhat common and making yourself look like a total hermit for not knowing any better. "

Oh jeez Nicole. Sorry about that. I guess that would explain why I found your response so off topic from what I'd said; you weren't talking about me at all!

Sick. I remember when we did a "Take Back the Night" march around campus a few weeks ago and some guy yelled that same comment.

Hehe; its all good!

ugh, this is gross.
i will be happy to write facebook about it (not blaming them of course, but just alerting them and saying how offensive i find this button), but i have no stomach to argue with morons on the discussion boards there.

I was really impressed when I read this and then went to Fb app page, and saw so many people had posted their opposition to the button. It was empowering to see the activism, even at the Facebook level.

I was really impressed when I read this and then went to Fb app page, and saw so many people had posted their opposition to the button. It was empowering to see the activism, even at the Facebook level.

This whole "rape is as surprise" thing was probably started by Warren Farrell who is an anti-feminist who was kicked out of NOW and is currently a MRA.

Hes quoted as saying, "We have forgotten that before we began calling this date rape and date fraud we called it exciting," which is from his book, "The Myth of Male Power."

http://www.gate.net/~liz/fathers/farrell.htm

Oh and Elise, I'd have to say that I agree with a lot (if not all) of what you say, especially the part about being somewhat conflicted. It's all very tricky.

UTV,

Do you not think that /allowing/ that kind of hate speech out in the open everywhere, sends signals to impressionable young men that that kind of message is normal or acceptable?

And what about rape survivors, who may be upset if they happen to see that button?

There is a history in this country of censoring hate speech. There has never been total "free speech" in this country... nor do I know or particularly want to know what exactly that would look like...

The developer posted a message apologizing for the button and promising a fix shortly.

Said troll Mike has gone waaaaaayyy off the deep end - earlier he posted some twisted analogy built around the idea that slavery is not, inherently evil, that it would be fine if the slave owners just treated their slaves very, very nicely.

Nina,

My answer to your first question is a "no", which is to say that I do NOT deny the harm that could conceivably be done by these buttons. I have never said that the buttons were good, or that they were not bad. I'm not in favor of assholes, I'm just against the censorship. I feel like the whole premise of your questions demonstrates that you're confusing the two.

I also think that the label "hate speech" is misapplied here. Again, please don't confuse my desire to correctly classify things in the pursuit of an accurate and sober discussion as a defense of the button.

The button is indefensibly insensitive, and you could maybe try to put together an argument to prove that someone could not find the button's statement in any way acceptable without also harboring some sort of hatred, but I don't think you can prove that the phrase, taken by itself, actually constitutes hate speech. If you look up the definition, I think you'll find that it doesn't quite fit.

My answer to your second question is to say that "upset", "extremely upset" or "traumatized" unfortunately fall short of what I would require in order to justify, on principle, the forced suppression of ideas. Someone (or several hundred thousand someones) could claim that they were upset, extremely upset, or traumatized at the sight of two men kissing each other, or a woman driving a car. I don't think that these small-minded people have a right to demand that they not encounter these things which they find offensive, and so I cannot in good conscience support the censorship of ideas which I personally happen to find upsetting, extremely upsetting, or even traumatizing.

The whole free speech discussion is somewhat moot at this point, as we already established that Facebook is a private entity, and they already enforce standards. I'll even concede that these standards, in reality, may do more good than harm, but that doesn't mean that the standards are inherently good or justified. The fact that they haven't yet been abused by someone with a less-than-honorable agenda doesn't prove that any protections exist to prevent that from happening.

Like someone said further up, the problem is people's desire, rather than their ability, to make jokes which trivialize rape. The key then to combating our culture's rape-permissiveness is, I think, to focus on convincing people of why they shouldn't WANT to make these insensitive comments & jokes, rather than simply forbidding it. IMO, it's a matter of addressing symptoms over causes.

Nina, would you care to address the point that I made about allowing assholes to label themselves? Do you have any way to compare the number of rapes which might be potentially prevented by the labeling phenomenon with the number of rapes which might be encouraged by allowing the buttons to continue unregulated?

sncreducer - Thanks for the report. Holy crap it's convenient & satisfying when assholes totally discredit themselves. It reminds me of that email from the college Republican that was posted here a while ago that looked like it was written by a 3rd grader.

Not to detract from the serious discussion, but perhaps we could do something similar to the response to the Open Source Breast Project. A peice that says "it's not a hard kick to the balls, it's a quick massage".
Sigh. Back to work.

I made a complaint to facebook about this button, not only to (hopefully) get it removed, but also to get the person who made it blocked. If someone is posting offensive material on facebook they get so many strikes against their account before they are banned. Hopefully this action will make the user re-think the statement on this "flair."

This just makes me feel even more unsafe in this damn patriarchy.

" A peice that says "it's not a hard kick to the balls, it's a quick massage".

nazrafel,
I'd like that! Or what about, "I've got a wide foot?" I've been told that before.

UGH! I used to date a guy who would say this all the time. Worst part was that his best female friend also did, and thought it was fucking hilarious...

I think they deleted the thread... :/

I would to see what you would suggest the developers of the app do? Simply remove this one button so someone can just add it back? Catch every instance of offensive words and try to find out if it is appropriate or not?

It's not the toolmakers fault for how a tool is used. It's the fault of the user who uses the tool in an incorrect or wrong manner.

You're getting sucked into a trap. I recognize that line, it's from SomethingAwful's forum community or one of the related packs of 'goons'. The angrier you get about it, the funnier they're going to think it is and the more they're going to try and draw you in further.

--Dave

The developers are doing something about it. Saw this: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=3396043540&topic=4107

I thought some of you might like to know that the developers of the application just posted this response:

"First, I want to apologize for my slow response in dealing with the issue of inappropriate content on the app. I certainly share your concerns and have been working on a solution to the problem.

We recently released a reporting feature to allow you to help us locate offensive flair so we can deal with them accordingly. Although we have been collecting reports from many of you for several weeks now, we have not yet turned on the filter to remove these items, for technical reasons.

We will turn the filter on within days and it should take care of the vast majority of the offensive content. With your help, we will be able to continue to stay on top of the problem.

Again, I apologize for not tackling this problem sooner. We have had our hands full simply scaling the app to support our growing user base.

Thanks again for your support and all your great ideas. We've been hard at work creating the next version of the app and can't wait to share the new features with you. I think you're going to love it!"

Idea for new piece of flair:

"It's not assault. It's a surprise kick to the balls."

I love the flair application, and I don't blame the facebook folks or the developers of the app for the horrible flair (which I admit, there are quite a few). Instead, I try and do my part search for rape flairs about once a week and report all of the offensive ones I find. In addition to "it's not rape; it's surprise sex," there are some that say "9 out of 10 people love a good gang rape," "It's hard to prove my love when you're to far away to rape," "I want to rape your daughter," and "I rape on expert." However, there are also flair for Take Back the Night, and ones that say things like "no man has the right," which we can always use more of. I've found that the developers of the app usually take a week or two to delete the offensive flair, but it does happen eventually.

god. What a High-LARIOUS way to announce to the world what a douchebag you are...by putting rape jokes on your own facebook page, right under your full real name. That's like pulling an Alex Kochno, all day every day.

let's see how far we can take this "it's not a crime, it's a surprise!" thing, shall we:

It's not assault: It's surprise boxing!

It's not theft: it's surprise charity!

It's not murder: It's surprise death!

idiots.

Despite freedom of speech arguments, you have to admit it's a little backwards for Facebook to ban pictures of nursing mothers but allow groups and pictures and things like this that promote rape as a "joke."

They don't create the content, no, but it is on their site and it is still under the jurisdiction of their terms and conditions.

They made a group I am in take down a cartoon drawing because it showed two dinosaurs fucking...I'd rather see tongue-in-cheek (consensual!) cartoon sex than victim-blaming or rape promotion.

I'm normally a major proponent of the 1st Amendment (hell, I was against Don Imus getting fired). However, your individual rights stop when they violate the rights of another or are directly involved in a crime. This isn't a case of "oh it's icky/makes me mildly uncomfortable and I don't like it so take it down" it's that this promotes a violent crime.

First Amendment aside, the site has terms and conditions, and to use the site you have to abide by them.

"It's not murder - it's a surprise trip to the afterlife!"

"It's not ethnic cleansing - it's a surprise vacation!"

"It's not theft--it's a suprise complimentary cleaning service!"

And if the young man (and I assume it was a young man) who came up with this slogan were to be brutally raped a la The Carver and Christian in the first or second season of Nip Tuck (can't remember which now), I'm sure he would not still consider rape of ANYONE "surprise sex."

Fucked in the ass non-stop, ream my hole, with a helicopter prop, I love ass fucking, yes it's true, I douche my ass nightly, so there's no poo. I'm a fanatic faggot, I love to get raped, got my dad's camcorder, to get it all on tape. My sphincter's so loose, all my movements are butt juice, in the war of fists and my ass, there can never be a truce.