Sorry Jessica, but you know that once you drive a new vagina off the lot, it depreciates about 20% in value . . .

Really?

So a...say...80 yr old hymen is just as valuable as a 19 yr old one?

Right.

Isn't there some evidence that the hymen starts to recede into the vaginal walls with age?

So what would a re-virginized (http://www.beliefnet.com/story/203/story_20329_1.html)
penis or vagina get on the open market, assuming many things of course!

* I apologize for my lack of interwebs knowledge please forgive this old geezer!

FOC

Well, my mother always said that virgins got bigger diamonds when they got married. Yes, sadly I am serious....

Oh, good! I'm completely broke and have a lot of credit card and college loan debt, but I'm also a thirty-year-old virgin. Where's my government allotment for never having sex? It's a lot like those farmers who get paid for not growing corn, right?

I really like that the person who writes this blog apparently doesn't know grammar- about 3/4 of the way down the page, there's a post entitled "What are Prom's coming to?" Nice to see that all of those federal dollars are going to people who can use apostrophes.

Oh, and Jessica? You're awesome.

Virginity is a big issue over a small tissue.

with only a little bit of work, i'm pretty sure we could come up with a half-dozen quotations from shakespeare that say the exact opposite of this.

it's kind of a topos with him (he's only echoing the ideology of his age) that virginity is a thing that will not keep; that maids are best brought to market early, etc. etc.

i'd try to google for some of the choicer quotes, but it's actually all a bit depressing all around--that he said that crap, that your modern ignoramus says the crap she says, that he was ignorant, that she is ignorant, and so on.

alright, just one:
'what's to come is still unsure;
in delay there lies no plenty,
then come kiss me, sweet and twenty,
youth's a stuff will not endure."

i suppose we should be grateful he allows that twenty is still youth.

All it takes to debunk that statement is watching 40 Year Old Virgin.

Recession, schmession.

We have had our solution in front of us the whole time: our younger sisters, cousins, nieces, and daughters! I wanna buy a few shares (since my portfolio is spattered in red today, eekkkk)!

Recession, schmession.

We have had our solution in front of us the whole time: our younger sisters, cousins, nieces, and daughters! I wanna buy a few shares (since my portfolio is spattered with red today, eekkkk)!

Just remember ladies: Hymen trading is a finicky business. Say you have a 35 year old Hymen...no one is going to want that everyone knows all good hymens are married young before they've developed careers and lives of their own.

hmm...
maybe the clearinghouse woman was confused because her hymen came as part of an ass-set?

...and the author of the bulk of more recent blog entries is named "HotMama247"!!!!

Irony? or a simple display of ignorance and irrationality?

Good thing I read this: I need some money for a new suitcase. Now, my vagina is slightly used, but my ass is still brand new. How much do you think I could get for that?

So . . . are women in same-sex relationships just planning prudently for early retirement?

"Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder"? How about "a hymen is a terrible thing to waste"?

I clicked the link, thinking that perhaps there was something more past that statement and low and behold there was not. Wow. Holds it's value well how, exactly? Does my hymen have a coin purse I don't know about? And what happens when you lose your virginity and you end up getting divorced? (note: I know these people think you should never ever get divorced at all).

And do you lose all your value the first time you have premarital sex? What if you end up marrying that person anyway?

I think what they should do, not to give them any ideas, is to come up with a slut thermometer, that way you'll know how much your "value" has gone down and you can plan accordingly;)

"...it is obvious that there is nothing the media will fixate its attention on longer or harder than the tawdry"

This is a quote from another post on the same blog. I'm going to go sit in a corner and giggle quietly to myself for a while about the use of the phrase "longer or harder" in this context...

"Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder"? Oh, Great Gourd in Halvah. Do we need a mandatory Biology 101 course? (All expenses paid, natch.)

Certified pre-owned is a better deal.

And what exactly is meant by "Saving sex until marriage"?? Do you run out? Is it a limited commodity? Are we supposed to be rationing it?

(If so, I could probably be convicted for hoarding)

If I save it, can I collect interest on my virginity? "By waiting till I was thirty-five with PurityBank, I was able to have TWO first times!"

Perhaps we could take a cue from industrial polluters and establish a trade in "Virginity Credits".

Gee, I must owe A LOT money...lol

If your wear that abstinence shirt, won't that make you have a "heart on."

Sorry--had to go juvenile. Too funny!!!

If your wear that abstinence shirt, won't that make you have a "heart on."

Sorry--had to go juvenile. Too funny!!!

If your wear that abstinence shirt, won't that make you have a "heart on."

Sorry--had to go juvenile. Too funny!!!

My favorite post (that I've read so far) is this one: http://abstinence.net/blognew/2008/05/02/the-consequences-as-i-see-them/

Translation: "Sure, you scientists with all your carefully gathered 'statistics' and 'information' may say that abstinence-only education doesn't work, but my anecdotal experience based on my small group of friends who may or may not have had abstinence-only education says otherwise!"

I'd better stop reading this site. It looks like a total outrage-inducing timesuck.

Perhaps this is where the euphemism "nature's purse" comes from.

This is my personal favourite from the blog:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3 . 0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

————————————

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: “I Thought You Loved “Me.exe� and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources)

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

This is my personal favourite from the blog:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3 . 0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

————————————

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: “I Thought You Loved “Me.exe� and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources)

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

I’m with radrobyn. In fact, I think I’m going to have to file for hymen-ruptcy because I can’t even make the interest payments on my earlier lack of abstinence debt any more!

Oh, and that motto: "Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder"? Sounds like an argument against marriage to me. I guess you can trade in that virginity capital for fondness credits after marriage or something…

I left a comment on that post and they deleted it pretty quickly afterwards. :-/

Interesting, No Robot. They did the same to me. I found it especially interesting that they did not contact me at all or acknowledge the post in any way. Maybe the truth scares them (I posted on abstinence only education). I understand they have an opinion and they're conservative, but can't they actually listen to the other's point of view? Close mindedness really ticks me off!

Interesting, No Robot. They did the same to me. I found it especially interesting that they did not contact me at all or acknowledge the post in any way. Maybe the truth scares them (I posted on abstinence only education). I understand they have an opinion and they're conservative, but can't they actually listen to the other's point of view? Close mindedness really ticks me off!

This exchange appears in the recent film, Elizabeth, The Golden Age, when suitors are being considered for the queen's huaband:

Queen Elizabeth I: How much longer do you think I can play this game, Francis?
Sir Francis Walsingham: Virginity is an asset that holds its value well.

I hope this isn't a duplicate post.

This exchange is in the recent film, "Elizabeth, The Golden Age", when suitors proposed for her are discussed:

Queen Elizabeth I: How much longer do you think I can play this game, Francis?
Sir Francis Walsingham: Virginity is an asset that holds its value well.